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Running Out of Steam

bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

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It gets harder each day to keep living, or LDARing, or whatever path we've chosen.  It gets harder to exist.  Personally, I've been finding solace in the fact that I did nothing to deserve the fate thrust upon me by the world, and embracing the anger and resentment I feel with that thought.  I was born fairly ugly, and I was born with autism; nothing I chose, nothing I had a say in, and I can say as far as personality or character goes, I'm not the best person in the world, but I've certainly never attacked anyone unprovoked, I'm loyal and hardworking and never been a criminal, and at least I can say I've never beat up a 16 year old kid and taken his money.  But none of that matters; women want an attractive man or a not-terribly-revolting betabux.  It was over before it began.  On a side note, it's funny how ingrained the Just World Fallacy is in our minds, that I have to actively think about why I don't deserve the fate I'm stuck with.  It's a lie, anathema to the black pill.

What keeps everyone else going, if anything at all?
 
nausea

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inertia keeps me going
 
Deleted member 306

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Hops for gene splicing and sui is cope
 
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bigantennaemay1 said:
It gets harder each day to keep living, or LDARing, or whatever path we've chosen.  It gets harder to exist.  Personally, I've been finding solace in the fact that I did nothing to deserve the fate thrust upon me by the world, and embracing the anger and resentment I feel with that thought.  I was born fairly ugly, and I was born with autism; nothing I chose, nothing I had a say in, and I can say as far as personality or character goes, I'm not the best person in the world, but I've certainly never attacked anyone unprovoked, I'm loyal and hardworking and never been a criminal, and at least I can say I've never beat up a 16 year old kid and taken his money.  But none of that matters; women want an attractive man or a not-terribly-revolting betabux.  It was over before it began.  On a side note, it's funny how ingrained the Just World Fallacy is in our minds, that I have to actively think about why I don't deserve the fate I'm stuck with.  It's a lie, anathema to the black pill.

What keeps everyone else going, if anything at all?

I feel the exact same way.   I might put up a poll if it hasn't already how many here are atheists.  Seems to me being religious would not only have helped to deal with the situation but likely would have prevented it to start with by having a social structure.
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

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Tuttle said:
I feel the exact same way.   I might put up a poll if it hasn't already how many here are atheists.  Seems to me being religious would not only have helped to deal with the situation but likely would have prevented it to start with by having a social structure.

I lost my faith upon leaving high school, due to my growing trepidation with what, even then, I suspected was a lifelong sentence to being forever alone and incel.  Been atheist ever since.  Don't know and don't care if there is a god, or gods, because if there are, they've made it clear they don't give a shit about me.


nausea said:
inertia keeps me going

I feel you.  You just keep existing because it's what you've always done.  I don't always feel that way, but sometimes I have days where just the habit of existing is all that gets me through it.
 
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bigantennaemay1 said:
I lost my faith upon leaving high school, due to my growing trepidation with what, even then, I suspected was a lifelong sentence to being forever alone and incel.  Been atheist ever since.  Don't know and don't care if there is a god, or gods, because if there are, they've made it clear they don't give a shit about me.

You are conscious - that is a miracle.  How did that happen?   It is pretty amazing.  If you have your health, too, that is quite a blessing.  How much of this angst here is caused by jelousy when you boil it all down?   Ignore this feeling that someone else is getting something you are not.  You can always feel that and most do.  Clear you mind of that and then make your judgement.
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

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Tuttle said:
You are conscious - that is a miracle.  How did that happen?   It is pretty amazing.  If you have your health, too, that is quite a blessing.  How much of this angst here is caused by jelousy when you boil it all down?   Ignore this feeling that someone else is getting something you are not.  You can always feel that and most do.  Clear you mind of that and then make your judgement.

I realized a number of things, like the fact my prayers went completely ignored, and how people tell me this christian god is all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving, and omnibenevolent, and yet, here I am, steeped in misery and asking for an answer, a solution, a sign, anything that anyone anywhere gave a shit about me, and got nothing.  Not to mention, I'm not the only one with problems in this world; if there was a god like that, how could he look at the starvation in Africa, or the brutality in the middle-east (I saw a christian man's hands after they were flayed, just for reading a bible), and thought about the past when people were burned at the stake for being witches and all the other garbage and atrocities humans have committed throughout the ages, and I'm just like "this god they tell me about clearly doesn't exist.  If there is one, he's sadistic and evil, and satan would be better served for rebelling against that god."  And I just worked my way from there, listening to the likes of Hitchens and whoever else.

Why shouldn't I feel envy (not jealousy:  jealousy implies I have something to lose) for what other people have, when they have something that is driven by our most powerful animal instincts?  Sex and intimacy are the most powerful forces driving us as a species, it's a biological imperative to seek those out, and yet, I have been unable to acquire either at any point in my life as of yet (I'm 28; not quite wizard yet).  It causes a lot of pain not to have those needs met, and it hurts like hell; it's extraordinarily difficult, if not impossible, to ignore that kind of pain when it's so deeply rooted in my psychology and biology.

No, I've tried clearing my mind of it, but that only seems to harm me further; I wind up repressing shit and spiraling down into depression.  Anger, envy, and hate freed me from that spiral, and have cleared my mind of the things that are truly distracting to living life:  sadness, suicidal romanticism, and depression.  Of course I'm envious:  other people have the most important thing in life, and I'm denied it.  And I'm not dropping the envy unless it turns out I'm not incel or forever alone, and not a moment sooner.
 
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You should be dead.

You're just one of the millions of surplus subhuman males that would have been killed off via disease, war, etc... in the past.
 
nausea

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bigantennaemay1 said:
I realized a number of things, like the fact my prayers went completely ignored, and how people tell me this christian god is all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving, and omnibenevolent, and yet, here I am, steeped in misery and asking for an answer, a solution, a sign, anything that anyone anywhere gave a shit about me, and got nothing.  Not to mention, I'm not the only one with problems in this world; if there was a god like that, how could he look at the starvation in Africa, or the brutality in the middle-east (I saw a christian man's hands after they were flayed, just for reading a bible), and thought about the past when people were burned at the stake for being witches and all the other garbage and atrocities humans have committed throughout the ages, and I'm just like "this god they tell me about clearly doesn't exist.  If there is one, he's sadistic and evil, and satan would be better served for rebelling against that god."  And I just worked my way from there, listening to the likes of Hitchens and whoever else.

Why shouldn't I feel envy (not jealousy:  jealousy implies I have something to lose) for what other people have, when they have something that is driven by our most powerful animal instincts?  Sex and intimacy are the most powerful forces driving us as a species, it's a biological imperative to seek those out, and yet, I have been unable to acquire either at any point in my life as of yet (I'm 28; not quite wizard yet).  It causes a lot of pain not to have those needs met, and it hurts like hell; it's extraordinarily difficult, if not impossible, to ignore that kind of pain when it's so deeply rooted in my psychology and biology.

No, I've tried clearing my mind of it, but that only seems to harm me further; I wind up repressing shit and spiraling down into depression.  Anger, envy, and hate freed me from that spiral, and have cleared my mind of the things that are truly distracting to living life:  sadness, suicidal romanticism, and depression.  Of course I'm envious:  other people have the most important thing in life, and I'm denied it.  And I'm not dropping the envy unless it turns out I'm not incel or forever alone, and not a moment sooner.

masterfully written
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

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Grotesque said:
You should be dead.

You're just one of the millions of surplus subhuman males that would have been killed off via disease, war, etc... in the past.

And don't I know it.  I think it's a major Cope to believe that incels in the past were able to find mates and start families in societies with traditional values; those were our present-day failed normans.  We were the ones being drowned in a river upon birth, thrown into mental asylums to be experimented upon and quarantined away from society, or as you said, sent off to war, probably to the front lines so we'd get killed off.

I wish it was the past right now; I'd probably already be mercifully released from my pain.
 

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