Lv99_BixNood
fascel
★★★★★
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2017
- Posts
- 18,589
View: https://old.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/1fq5afo/is_there_a_place_for_asian_american_men_in/
My wife and I are both Asian American, mid 30s, I’m straight, and she’s queer.
During this past year, both of us have been doing a lot of soul searching, and we both decided that we can carry water for, be emotionally intimate with, and love other people. We’ve been taking it slow, and she’s taking a more “if it happens it happens” approach to possibly meeting someone, while I’ve taken a more active approach in terms of getting on dating apps.
For some context, Asian American men statistically do very poorly both on dating apps and meeting women in person. There is a strong stigma against dating Asian men due to racist stereotypes. For me personally, when I dated monogamously in the past, I had no problems with attracting and dating Asian women, Black women, and Latinas. It was only white women who never reciprocated any interest, and I’ve had white women tell me that they would never date an Asian man—these are women who identify as very progressive/liberal, open-minded, educated, and open to dating Black and Latino men.
The polyamory community in my area is very white—which I’m not opposed to, as I do find white women attractive as I do women of all races. The problem is that white women generally don’t find Asian men attractive, and there are almost no women of color in the poly community here, so an already small dating pool is even smaller.
I did go on two dates with a white woman I met on Feeld. On the second date (while a little tipsy) she told me that she “just doesn’t see Asian men as real men and could never find one attractive,” but that she went out with me to test this, and because she enjoys Asian cuisine and wanted somebody to take her to the “authentic” spots. Needless to say I didn’t see her again after that.
That experience was a huge blow, and a reminder of just how I’m perceived because of my race. At the end of the day, I’m still being the best person I can be and putting my best foot forward, and reminding myself that the prejudice and bigotry is a reflection of that person and not of me, but I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t hurt and that it isn’t demoralizing.
Now he's gonna get cucked and can't even fuck anyone else