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Story Recounting events that happened 11 years ago(How I feel torwards my sister)

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Deleted member 16359

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This happened to my when i was in sixth grade and I've really just buried this in my mind ever since.My parents went on vacation to my country.So it was only me and my older sister for a couple months.I came home from school one day and went over to my mom's room to ask for food but the door was locked,I heard some mumbling and she said she'll be out in a sec.So I stayed around the living room.She came out by herself and told me she needs help turning on the family computer which was in my room,which made no sense but I obliged .While doing so, I heard shuffling and than the main gate closing shut and it was obvious to me she's trying to sneak someone out but I said nothing.

Few minutes later she's on the phone talking with her friend that she just had sex with her manager jerry right in front of me.I was stunned but acted like i had no clue what she was talking about and didn't know what sex was.My sister believed someone my age (around 12) wasn't mature enough to understand what she was talking about.I kept listening and heard some disgusting things,like she had her period while they were having sex and the guy freaked out and also how they came to have sex in the first place.She invited the guy over to talk about something work related or apologize,i dont remember the reason and they were sitting in my mom's room and one thing led to another and they ended up kissing.Keep in my mind my sister was already married at this point and this was technically cheating.

Now that I think about it this wasn't the first time my sister was sexually promiscuous.When i was even younger I remember seeing the landlord's son we used to be family friends with groping her ass while we were both sitting on the sofa watching on demand cable.I remember feeling very weirded out about this but somehow understood what was going on even when i was 8 or 9 and she got found out by my mom and got slapped around and that relationship ended.Years later ,during my teens she had an online relationship also while married with some guy from my country of bangladesh.I found out about it when I was being sent to to a behavioral faciility(some kind of mental hospital for teens) by my school because of depression.I remember her talking with him on face time right in front of me and her subtly moving the camera to show me in my hospital gown and mocking me with the guy ,"the guy said something like "I'll fix that nutcase right up" in my language and she kind of laughed ,yet i pretended to not understand anything while feeling so much rage inside me.Now recently she's seeing some black guy from the elementary school she works at after she divorced her husband.She comes home late at night when she's obviously wasn't at work and probably got fucked by that guy.My mom can't control her anymore and lets her do what she wants since shes like 30 now.I feel this extreme rage towards my sister and also this extreme lust torwards her as well.I know i'm fucked up and mentally ill but I can't help these thoughts.I want to hurt her like how she hurt me and ravage and destroy her sexually like other men did.I want to make her submit and control her but I feel so powerless to do anything as a worthless highschool dropout and shut in with no job.I don't know if i can go on living without doing something bad to her eventually.

In my religon there is something called being a dayyuth,in other words a man who cant control his female family members aka the islamic version of being a cuckold.They say that god will not even talk to a dayyuth on the day of judgement and just throw him into the fire.Although Im an ex muslim,I still hold on to this sentiment and I feel like Some kind of cuck for not being able to do anything.I feel like i'm a victim of abuse and somehow my sister contributed to the extremely frustrated and depressed person I am today and i really wanna get back at her.I've tried distancing myself from my family but it's really hard when you live under the same roof and are reliant on them financially.
 
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Zer0/∞

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truefaithneworder said:
In my religon there is something called being a dayyuth,in other words a man who cant control his female family members aka the islamic version of being a cuckold.They say that god will not even talk to a dayyuth on the day of judgement and just throw him into the fire.Although Im an ex muslim,I still hold on to this sentiment and I feel like Some kind of cuck for not being able to do anything.I feel like i'm a victim of abuse and somehow my sister contributed to the extremely frustrated and depressed person I am today and i really wanna get back at her.I've tried distancing myself from my family but it's really hard when you live under the same roof and are reliant on them financially.
Where is your father in all of this? The blame is easily on him for allowing your sister to act like a degenerate.
 
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Deleted member 16359

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Zer0/∞ said:
Where is your father in all of this? The blame is easily on him for allowing your sister to act like a degenerate.
My father was a useless old cuck ,who always depended on my mom to discipline the kids.All he did during my entire life was work in the street all day and than come home to go to sleep and do it all over the next day.He's a complete workhorse and never gave any of us the time of day.He always just got into fights with my mom over money so he could send money back to his scummy brothers and sisters in bangladesh and even hit her many times over this.I honestly hate him and many times even physically fought him.He's also like 20 years older than my mom.Hes 70 something now while my moms only 50
 
AnotherInsertCel

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You want to sexually dominate your sister?
 
Deleted member 16359

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AnotherInsertCel said:
You want to sexually dominate your sister?
Yes:feelsrope: I know it sounds wrong but like I said all these experiences fucked me up mentally.I believe it to be a developmental thing after having exposure to many sexual experiences as a young child.
 
Transcended Trucel

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Damn it's over brother. You definitely need to escape that toxic environment. Money Maxx, get your own place then do sustainable copes(Vidya/anime/hobbies/maybe escorts) which you rotate thru.
AnotherInsertCel said:
You want to sexually dominate your sister?
Volly if u won't if allowed :lul:
Zer0/∞ said:
Where is your father in all of this? The blame is easily on him for allowing your sister to act like a degenerate.
Many curry men are cucked failures as parents. The amount of cucked curries is super high amongst Hindus and now is also rising amongst Muslims day by day. The (((brainwashing))) and cultural pressure is too powerful to overwrite.
 
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Deleted member 16359

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Transcended Trucel said:
Damn it's over brother. You definitely need to escape that toxic environment. Money Maxx, get your own place then do sustainable copes(Vidya/anime/hobbies/maybe escorts) which you rotate thru.

Volly if u won't if allowed :lul:
Yeah It's unbearable living with these people.I don't even consider them my family anymore.My toxic family situations is one of the underlying reasons why I was considering joining the military as a quick cop out instead of going to college for another 4 years under their roof.
 
Emba

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truefaithneworder said:
Yeah It's unbearable living with these people.I don't even consider them my family anymore.My toxic family situations is one of the underlying reasons why I was considering joining the military as a quick cop out instead of going to college for another 4 years under their roof.
Maybe the mil is a good choice for you
AnotherInsertCel said:
You want to sexually dominate your sister?
Found the Volcel!
 
D

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truefaithneworder said:
This happened to my when i was in sixth grade and I've really just buried this in my mind ever since.My parents went on vacation to my country.So it was only me and my older sister for a couple months.I came home from school one day and went over to my mom's room to ask for food but the door was locked,I heard some mumbling and she said she'll be out in a sec.So I stayed around the living room.She came out by herself and told me she needs help turning on the family computer which was in my room,which made no sense but I obliged .While doing so, I heard shuffling and than the main gate closing shut and it was obvious to me she's trying to sneak someone out but I said nothing.

Few minutes later she's on the phone talking with her friend that she just had sex with her manager jerry right in front of me.I was stunned but acted like i had no clue what she was talking about and didn't know what sex was.My sister believed someone my age (around 12) wasn't mature enough to understand what she was talking about.I kept listening and heard some disgusting things,like she had her period while they were having sex and the guy freaked out and also how they came to have sex in the first place.She invited the guy over to talk about something work related or apologize,i dont remember the reason and they were sitting in my mom's room and one thing led to another and they ended up kissing.Keep in my mind my sister was already married at this point and this was technically cheating.

Now that I think about it this wasn't the first time my sister was sexually promiscuous.When i was even younger I remember seeing the landlord's son we used to be family friends with groping her ass while we were both sitting on the sofa watching on demand cable.I remember feeling very weirded out about this but somehow understood what was going on even when i was 8 or 9 and she got found out by my mom and got slapped around and that relationship ended.Years later ,during my teens she had an online relationship also while married with some guy from my country of bangladesh.I found out about it when I was being sent to to a behavioral faciility(some kind of mental hospital for teens) by my school because of depression.I remember her talking with him on face time right in front of me and her subtly moving the camera to show me in my hospital gown and mocking me with the guy ,"the guy said something like "I'll fix that nutcase right up" in my language and she kind of laughed ,yet i pretended to not understand anything while feeling so much rage inside me.Now recently she's seeing some black guy from the elementary school she works at after she divorced her husband.She comes home late at night when she's obviously wasn't at work and probably got fucked by that guy.My mom can't control her anymore and lets her do what she wants since shes like 30 now.I feel this extreme rage towards my sister and also this extreme lust torwards her as well.I know i'm fucked up and mentally ill but I can't help these thoughts.I want to hurt her like how she hurt me and ravage and destroy her sexually like other men did.I want to make her submit and control her but I feel so powerless to do anything as a worthless highschool dropout and shut in with no job.I don't know if i can go on living without doing something bad to her eventually.

In my religon there is something called being a dayyuth,in other words a man who cant control his female family members aka the islamic version of being a cuckold.They say that god will not even talk to a dayyuth on the day of judgement and just throw him into the fire.Although Im an ex muslim,I still hold on to this sentiment and I feel like Some kind of cuck for not being able to do anything.I feel like i'm a victim of abuse and somehow my sister contributed to the extremely frustrated and depressed person I am today and i really wanna get back at her.I've tried distancing myself from my family but it's really hard when you live under the same roof and are reliant on them financially.
 
Samedamntime

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I feel like this is going to be evidence for a criminal case in the future.
 
U

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AnotherInsertCel said:
You want to sexually dominate your sister?
Based
 
Agatha_Chan

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your sister is sick bro, this is nasty.
 
Deleted member 16359

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Agatha_Chan said:
your sister is sick bro, this is nasty.
Yeah my whole family is fucked up.It hits harder as a curry.Maybe if i was white i could just shutup and accept the degeneracy since that type of family sitatuation is mostly normal if ur white.
 
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the virgin shepherd

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You are not the dayyuth your father is.
 
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truefaithneworder said:
Yeah my whole family is fucked up.It hits harder as a curry.Maybe if i was white i could just shutup and accept the degeneracy since that type of family sitatuation is mostly normal if ur white.
I say, fuck it. You should embrace it. Part of the blackpill is becoming honkpilled. You're not living in a nightmare, you're living in a fucking joke. You should do crazy things while you're still alive. Just seize the moment, everything will be over before you notice.
 
Reprobus

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truefaithneworder said:
Yes:feelsrope: I know it sounds wrong but like I said all these experiences fucked me up mentally.I believe it to be a developmental thing after having exposure to many sexual experiences as a young child.
Yeah you sound traumatized. I’m obviously going to get hate for saying this but talk to a therapist about that and genuinely talk don’t try to get prescription drugs they won’t solve it.
 

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