V
Today is the first of December and I think this time of year is generally the most unbearable for loser incels, our lives progressed zilch during the year and it goes down as another wasted year in our """prime""". If I were to rank the months in terms of happiness and life progression they would be;
Worst months of my life, despairing depression, anxiety felt like being in a pressure cooker, very strong suicide ideation;
October (and first week of November, worst 7 days of my life), April and January.
A noticeable improvement from those months, but still inhumane suffering (normies would kill themselves if they were to experience):
February, March and the last 3 weeks of Nov
Average, all round shitness
May, September
Suspected bipolar II mania phase, contentment through delusions and obsessions, top tier months (relative) overall:
June, July, August
June was delusion through studycelling
July was obsession with keto, running
August was delusion through making money online
Additional information: I took a series of videos and pictures of myself in late September with a new camera and lighting conditions, you can infer the implications of this yourself. (It destroyed me, my face is legitimately deformed).
The first week of November I was set on killing myself, I had completely resigned to the fact I would be dead soon. I guess things improved slightly, much to a perverse sense of disappoint. I still might follow through, and I plan to order the substance (nembutal) I need to end myself so when I inevitably go through a suicidal phase I can end it for good.
Worst months of my life, despairing depression, anxiety felt like being in a pressure cooker, very strong suicide ideation;
October (and first week of November, worst 7 days of my life), April and January.
A noticeable improvement from those months, but still inhumane suffering (normies would kill themselves if they were to experience):
February, March and the last 3 weeks of Nov
Average, all round shitness
May, September
Suspected bipolar II mania phase, contentment through delusions and obsessions, top tier months (relative) overall:
June, July, August
June was delusion through studycelling
July was obsession with keto, running
August was delusion through making money online
Additional information: I took a series of videos and pictures of myself in late September with a new camera and lighting conditions, you can infer the implications of this yourself. (It destroyed me, my face is legitimately deformed).
The first week of November I was set on killing myself, I had completely resigned to the fact I would be dead soon. I guess things improved slightly, much to a perverse sense of disappoint. I still might follow through, and I plan to order the substance (nembutal) I need to end myself so when I inevitably go through a suicidal phase I can end it for good.
