I believe that, regardless of what the incel man does, the incel man will never be able to feel the love of compassion of a relationship. Unlike many, I don't believe it is fully for physical reasons, but rather I believe there might even be metaphysical motives. Don't get me wrong, I'm ugly, short and subhuman, but I believe that there's more than just that, the way foids behave feel almost spiritually evil in nature. As if I were in some sort of demon or something, such malevolence I'd find hard to justify to the worst men of Earth... And they do it just for the sin of me existing? I know foids are materialist and looks driven, but it feels almost too much.
I am not spiritual nor religious, but I am superstitious. I believe there could be *something* else. Maybe this is just some kind of dream? My punishment for being a shallow bitch in a previous life? Some sort of training for a bigger being to experience what loneliness feels like?
The universe is indifferent and cold. But it is not cruel. It causes suffering, but not willingly, and not to such a scale that breaks a man over the sin of existence. There has to be a motive for this suffering, I simply can't comprehend it being for nothing. Why would it be for nothing? Again, the universe is not cruel, it merely is cold. Yet, this feels caused, there is no way I was born such a hideous creature just because.
Think about it, we are born, we have the chance of life... And we are born like this? There *has* to be some kind of intention behind this, there's just no way the universe can just be like this.
And even more, despite of what we do, we change all we can... And it doesn't work. It turns out only the things you can't change are truly valued. What is life even worth for at this point? I could fucking kill myself and nobody would give a fuck. I am merely afraid of death. And yet, out of all the time I had to do it, I have not. I've been pushed close sometimes, I've been emotionally broken to the point of desperation, but I've never even grabbed the rope. Why would the being so afraid of death just be given this life that pushes him close and closer to it, to the point of begging whoever is out there listening to give me a heart attack or *whatever* to end this suffering... And nobody answers.
It's hell. A very boring hell. Hell not by punishment but by denial. A white room torture turned into life. I beg to any celestial being to get me out of this, but nobody listens. Or nobody cares. Or they ignore me. I don't want this anymore. I'm tired of it. Every day is the same but with a slight variation. Nothing ever changes.
And people dare say Sisyphus is happy...
I am not spiritual nor religious, but I am superstitious. I believe there could be *something* else. Maybe this is just some kind of dream? My punishment for being a shallow bitch in a previous life? Some sort of training for a bigger being to experience what loneliness feels like?
The universe is indifferent and cold. But it is not cruel. It causes suffering, but not willingly, and not to such a scale that breaks a man over the sin of existence. There has to be a motive for this suffering, I simply can't comprehend it being for nothing. Why would it be for nothing? Again, the universe is not cruel, it merely is cold. Yet, this feels caused, there is no way I was born such a hideous creature just because.
Think about it, we are born, we have the chance of life... And we are born like this? There *has* to be some kind of intention behind this, there's just no way the universe can just be like this.
And even more, despite of what we do, we change all we can... And it doesn't work. It turns out only the things you can't change are truly valued. What is life even worth for at this point? I could fucking kill myself and nobody would give a fuck. I am merely afraid of death. And yet, out of all the time I had to do it, I have not. I've been pushed close sometimes, I've been emotionally broken to the point of desperation, but I've never even grabbed the rope. Why would the being so afraid of death just be given this life that pushes him close and closer to it, to the point of begging whoever is out there listening to give me a heart attack or *whatever* to end this suffering... And nobody answers.
It's hell. A very boring hell. Hell not by punishment but by denial. A white room torture turned into life. I beg to any celestial being to get me out of this, but nobody listens. Or nobody cares. Or they ignore me. I don't want this anymore. I'm tired of it. Every day is the same but with a slight variation. Nothing ever changes.
And people dare say Sisyphus is happy...
