it was raining heavily today so i popped into my work pretty wet so i was talking to some sales staff (im like an office temp worker?) and later i got called into my boss's boss who started lecturing me about how im doing my work mechanically and not thinking about it or looking for "common sense" mistakes and how im distracting other people (they literally sit there waiting for work) and how im doing a bad impression so my department wont be able to "trust" me with more woke
all i do is scan and input things into pdf files, shit niga i shouldve told these people i was having a tough time with this shit or pretended to work so they can physically see that im definitely making a difference. instead i told these people i was out of work because it takes like 1 hour to do everything. guess i need to play people skills for a part-time no benefits job. idk what job i can get or if i should just die at this point.
being a 5'3.5 asian male is literally my only identity. i dont have have any real skills, hobbies, talents or good looks. if it makes any difference, the boss's boss was an asian woman probably discriminating against me because im not prince charming white man or "minority oppressed" female , JBW fuck.
ive mentioned previously i enrolled into my community college, im ahead in my classes right now because i dont have anything to do. but now im feeling so fucking down bc im gonna get fired and not be able to pay the bills like last time for a month until i find another job. soon ill get my pell grant refund and hope that'll last me a while.
idk, i usually come home and work on assignments ahead of schedule because i get a faint tingle of happiness when the computer says I selected or inputted the right numbers or answers. this is objective, some verbatim factory level learn and apply "work". no one can judge my input of shit i just gotta open up a crusty textbook or put into a calculator. i wish i could have a low iq job that doesnt involve people. other than sleep and refreshing on forums and other websites, i dont know what ive done with my life other than failing.
i havent started on my schoolwork cus im feeling pretty dead, feels like im supposed to be all motivated and shit to work on a "future" but this is asinine. apparently my household income my mom has on taxes is around $15k-$17k from what ive seen which doesnt include my income which is less than hers at maybe $10,000 max. im not going to ever get out of this situation of being poor bc im prolly demented.
about my bills, im not sure if i should even bother paying liability insurance at this point. might as well drive with a paper plate and drive off and hope no one chases me. ive got this internet at $40 with some other fees which makes me question if i really need internet or if i should camp at a library on the weekends to do schoolwork and whatever internet stuff i do. ive got some phone bill at $20 but shit i dont need that, ill probably be able to stay near the library if i become jobless and use their wifi. got this healthcare thing my mom forced me to apply to which is $40, cant even pay the $625 premium before it kicks in. my sister comes home now to freeload me and my mom paying rent so the A/C been blowing at max which made a bill of $200 in electricity in the past few months. food expenses arent really an issue find i usually eat the same peanut butter sandwich or rice with some cheap greens i grab, i can probably subsists off of this diet for my life considering how long ive been on this. the rent is around $500 a month so annualized it's around $7000 for the rent expenses alone without utilities. my living expenses are probably $4000 a year without housing not including car insurance.
today i also read a study how money isnt important to personal happiness but close relationships were. give me minimum wage to live off of and ill be happy being a fucking ape scratching my balls with nothing to do. i cant even do anything without ending up subservient and at the will of someone bigger or with more social capital than me which happens to be everyone except some deformed male midget with retardation.
most of you guys are probably larpers but this is what im living rn and feeling so it's alright. im just living. i cant experience the supposed joys of life so i can only live because the desperation of the human mortal inhibitions to survive is rationalized by chemicals wanting to survive.
all i do is scan and input things into pdf files, shit niga i shouldve told these people i was having a tough time with this shit or pretended to work so they can physically see that im definitely making a difference. instead i told these people i was out of work because it takes like 1 hour to do everything. guess i need to play people skills for a part-time no benefits job. idk what job i can get or if i should just die at this point.
being a 5'3.5 asian male is literally my only identity. i dont have have any real skills, hobbies, talents or good looks. if it makes any difference, the boss's boss was an asian woman probably discriminating against me because im not prince charming white man or "minority oppressed" female , JBW fuck.
ive mentioned previously i enrolled into my community college, im ahead in my classes right now because i dont have anything to do. but now im feeling so fucking down bc im gonna get fired and not be able to pay the bills like last time for a month until i find another job. soon ill get my pell grant refund and hope that'll last me a while.
idk, i usually come home and work on assignments ahead of schedule because i get a faint tingle of happiness when the computer says I selected or inputted the right numbers or answers. this is objective, some verbatim factory level learn and apply "work". no one can judge my input of shit i just gotta open up a crusty textbook or put into a calculator. i wish i could have a low iq job that doesnt involve people. other than sleep and refreshing on forums and other websites, i dont know what ive done with my life other than failing.
i havent started on my schoolwork cus im feeling pretty dead, feels like im supposed to be all motivated and shit to work on a "future" but this is asinine. apparently my household income my mom has on taxes is around $15k-$17k from what ive seen which doesnt include my income which is less than hers at maybe $10,000 max. im not going to ever get out of this situation of being poor bc im prolly demented.
about my bills, im not sure if i should even bother paying liability insurance at this point. might as well drive with a paper plate and drive off and hope no one chases me. ive got this internet at $40 with some other fees which makes me question if i really need internet or if i should camp at a library on the weekends to do schoolwork and whatever internet stuff i do. ive got some phone bill at $20 but shit i dont need that, ill probably be able to stay near the library if i become jobless and use their wifi. got this healthcare thing my mom forced me to apply to which is $40, cant even pay the $625 premium before it kicks in. my sister comes home now to freeload me and my mom paying rent so the A/C been blowing at max which made a bill of $200 in electricity in the past few months. food expenses arent really an issue find i usually eat the same peanut butter sandwich or rice with some cheap greens i grab, i can probably subsists off of this diet for my life considering how long ive been on this. the rent is around $500 a month so annualized it's around $7000 for the rent expenses alone without utilities. my living expenses are probably $4000 a year without housing not including car insurance.
today i also read a study how money isnt important to personal happiness but close relationships were. give me minimum wage to live off of and ill be happy being a fucking ape scratching my balls with nothing to do. i cant even do anything without ending up subservient and at the will of someone bigger or with more social capital than me which happens to be everyone except some deformed male midget with retardation.
most of you guys are probably larpers but this is what im living rn and feeling so it's alright. im just living. i cant experience the supposed joys of life so i can only live because the desperation of the human mortal inhibitions to survive is rationalized by chemicals wanting to survive.
