This will likely be a bit of a ramble so bear with me. Haven't been around much. For the past couple weeks (months honestly) I have been spiraling downwards. Eating more like shit than usual, performing poor at work, sleeping all day and ruminating all night. Some days ago I couldn't stop pissing (still can't) so I went to the urgent care and they told me I was prediabetic. Some numbers for those are interested: 26yo. 260lbs. Fasting blood sugar level was a 106. A1C a 6%. Food has been my cope since I was in my late teens but I always had some semblance of control. This year and last year I fucked myself up on all kinds of shitty food. Its funny, when I was in the care center the nurse (an attractive foid by the way so fuck me TWICE) asked me if I did any drugs and I said no, which on the inside I was proud of. But proud for what? If I had coped with drugs instead of food I would have been way better off. I see current and former druggies all the time with no long lasting health effects. Do enough of them and they might even put you on TV. They get to tell cool stories about getting high on PCP and fighting off three cops while using their erection as a sword. No one wants to hear about the time I ate two big mac meals at 8am.
Anyway, after getting the news I came home and threw out all my food copes. The Doritos? Gone. The frozen nuggets, fish sticks, pizzas? Gone. Ice cream? GONE NIGGA. I have been eating salmon, brown rice, chicken, spinach, shit like that. I also used a treadmill for the first time in eons. While doing all of this, I started wondering, why even bother? Before getting the diagnosis, I already wanted to rope everyday. Now, even with the ideal scenario of reversing or holding back a full blown diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes by not being a fat fuck, I am destined to never be able to cope with food again. Where does someone who doesn't even have the motivation to get out of bed and brush their teeth, get the will necessary to eat bland food and torture their body to burn the bland calories they consumed? Why am I even trying? Still don't have an answer, but that doesn't surprise me.
For the sake of clarity, I am not posting this for pity. Obviously we all have our issues or we wouldn't be on this site. Really its for three reasons:
1) To vent
2) To provide a warning. If you cope with food, stop. Eat healthy and clean (lean meats, brown rice, vegetables). Exercise regularly, doesn't even have to be intensive.
3) To see if there are any other beetuscels who can provide some advice
On a lighter note, that attractive foid nurse asked me if I was sexually active because frequent urination can also be a symptom for a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). I kid you not, I fucking chuckled out loud. It was the most cringe, autistic thing I have ever done.
Anyway, after getting the news I came home and threw out all my food copes. The Doritos? Gone. The frozen nuggets, fish sticks, pizzas? Gone. Ice cream? GONE NIGGA. I have been eating salmon, brown rice, chicken, spinach, shit like that. I also used a treadmill for the first time in eons. While doing all of this, I started wondering, why even bother? Before getting the diagnosis, I already wanted to rope everyday. Now, even with the ideal scenario of reversing or holding back a full blown diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes by not being a fat fuck, I am destined to never be able to cope with food again. Where does someone who doesn't even have the motivation to get out of bed and brush their teeth, get the will necessary to eat bland food and torture their body to burn the bland calories they consumed? Why am I even trying? Still don't have an answer, but that doesn't surprise me.
For the sake of clarity, I am not posting this for pity. Obviously we all have our issues or we wouldn't be on this site. Really its for three reasons:
1) To vent
2) To provide a warning. If you cope with food, stop. Eat healthy and clean (lean meats, brown rice, vegetables). Exercise regularly, doesn't even have to be intensive.
3) To see if there are any other beetuscels who can provide some advice
On a lighter note, that attractive foid nurse asked me if I was sexually active because frequent urination can also be a symptom for a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). I kid you not, I fucking chuckled out loud. It was the most cringe, autistic thing I have ever done.
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