Have you ever tried that? I did. I think I have to try again and do a proper ritual.
It wasn't anything fancy. I just went to my living room and descended onto my knees. I prayed. I repeated this for a week, everyday after midnight but not before 5 AM.
All I wanted was a deal: Make me chad and I'll do shit for until I'm 80, if I die sooner I go to hell (or the realm of the deity that listened to me), If not, after turning 80 Its up to me if I'll be able to secure myself a place in the better part of the afterlife.
Nothing came to me, or happened after a month or more. Nothing. I gained one thing, I became slightly more confident. I don't feel unwell any more when I spend much time in complete darkness for a while.
Mind you, I'm atheist, but I was desperate. My mom works as a nurse, and she has those masks that can be attached to devices that take of delivering oxygen. I did some research (mainly anarchistic websites) and was pretty much ready to kill myself. All I had to do was pay some money and order a helium bottle.
I wouldn't be surprised if there ever was anyone who linked the outside appearance to the condition of the soul and even thought that the more ugly you are, less of a soul you have if none even.
I'll be honest, since inceldom I never again (I think at least) started any of my sentences with "I can't believe/cannot imagine that..." as it struck me, that its a sign of being narrow-minded and reveals that you have unreal expectations about the world. I might just do that if these motherfucking demons will come out as to weak and will be unable to perform the task I'm asking them to do.
Deadass, it would be one hundred times better for them if they perished under the weight of their own miserable unimportance and weakness.
It wasn't anything fancy. I just went to my living room and descended onto my knees. I prayed. I repeated this for a week, everyday after midnight but not before 5 AM.
All I wanted was a deal: Make me chad and I'll do shit for until I'm 80, if I die sooner I go to hell (or the realm of the deity that listened to me), If not, after turning 80 Its up to me if I'll be able to secure myself a place in the better part of the afterlife.
Nothing came to me, or happened after a month or more. Nothing. I gained one thing, I became slightly more confident. I don't feel unwell any more when I spend much time in complete darkness for a while.
Mind you, I'm atheist, but I was desperate. My mom works as a nurse, and she has those masks that can be attached to devices that take of delivering oxygen. I did some research (mainly anarchistic websites) and was pretty much ready to kill myself. All I had to do was pay some money and order a helium bottle.
I wouldn't be surprised if there ever was anyone who linked the outside appearance to the condition of the soul and even thought that the more ugly you are, less of a soul you have if none even.
I'll be honest, since inceldom I never again (I think at least) started any of my sentences with "I can't believe/cannot imagine that..." as it struck me, that its a sign of being narrow-minded and reveals that you have unreal expectations about the world. I might just do that if these motherfucking demons will come out as to weak and will be unable to perform the task I'm asking them to do.
Deadass, it would be one hundred times better for them if they perished under the weight of their own miserable unimportance and weakness.
