Im 26 now and this has been happening for over 10 years. I can usually hear people gossip about me within earshot, i believe they know i hear them but just don't care. I mean this disease has absolutely destroyed any sense of self-esteem if i ever had any to begin with, acne is truly a life ruining event if its severe enough like it was in my case.
My mom never took me to a dermatologist due to both ignorance and perhaps financial reasons and so now i have ice pick scars all over my face. Cementing my reputation as a forever outcast amongst general society. Only people that have had severe acne and noticeable scarring know what its like.
The ridicule and humiliation NEVER ends, you can be anywhere at anytime. It doesn't matter what situation or circumstances your in, you can be simply trying to live your life not bothering anyone and people still go out of there way to make sure you know you aren't normal in their eyes. Not that any of that matters to me anymore.
Since for the most part all i want is to be left alone, to not have to deal with anymore of the harsh judgements I've received over the years because of this. Humanity is a truly vile and evil species and i suppose i can't be too surprised by that. We live in a primitive world where only the ruthless thrive and those of virtue seem to be swallowed up by the world's darkness.
Before you ask yes I've considered roping many times but i haven't wanted to do that to my sister and mother... At least not until my mom passes away and my sister is a grown adult, then who knows if my life is still shit i may consider it. Somethings not right when the idea of being dead induces a feeling of relief instead of fear. I mean my survival instincts are still there, but if i got hit by a bus or something... Shit I'd be cool with that. We all gotta die sometime right? This world is shit anyways and has completely failed to live up to any of my expectations.
My mom never took me to a dermatologist due to both ignorance and perhaps financial reasons and so now i have ice pick scars all over my face. Cementing my reputation as a forever outcast amongst general society. Only people that have had severe acne and noticeable scarring know what its like.
The ridicule and humiliation NEVER ends, you can be anywhere at anytime. It doesn't matter what situation or circumstances your in, you can be simply trying to live your life not bothering anyone and people still go out of there way to make sure you know you aren't normal in their eyes. Not that any of that matters to me anymore.
Since for the most part all i want is to be left alone, to not have to deal with anymore of the harsh judgements I've received over the years because of this. Humanity is a truly vile and evil species and i suppose i can't be too surprised by that. We live in a primitive world where only the ruthless thrive and those of virtue seem to be swallowed up by the world's darkness.
Before you ask yes I've considered roping many times but i haven't wanted to do that to my sister and mother... At least not until my mom passes away and my sister is a grown adult, then who knows if my life is still shit i may consider it. Somethings not right when the idea of being dead induces a feeling of relief instead of fear. I mean my survival instincts are still there, but if i got hit by a bus or something... Shit I'd be cool with that. We all gotta die sometime right? This world is shit anyways and has completely failed to live up to any of my expectations.
