I have no idea when they will kick me out of the house at this point. They have become extremely agitated and irritable at me to the point of screaming at me for issues they have. Every issue that gets brought up digs up every single other issue that I've had in recent memory as well, so they all get combined and make me look bad. Then they will yell at me for having no confidence or drive in my life. It's a very vicious cycle and I'm becoming sick of it.
And then on top of all that they have the audacity to complain to me that I don't have a gf yet. I want nothing more than to tell them everything about the blackpill because I'm just about out of excuses. But I'm sure if I even said anything about blackpill ideology or being an incel they'd freak out about that too, so I can't do that.
Really it's becoming quite obnoxious at this point. I hate being at home but I can't afford to pay for my own life yet and I'd become a poorcel/homelesscel if I left my parent's household. I am still very much dependent on them and yet they wish to take away what little independence I do have.
Once again I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. It feels like every time I get out of a situation another one comes crashing down on me soon after and never gives me a break. Like the shitty people I worked with at my last job was just such a horrific situation, I got out of it by leaving, but as a consequence now I cannot find a job and that passes my parents off to no end. Like I am playing an RPG game and I always choose the bad options on accident but can't go back to a previous save.
It's not enough that I already hate myself for my own shortcomings and failures and am just trying to eek out one last push to graduate university, I also have to have two parents breathing down my neck at every fucking turn.
If I am ever able to graduate, get a real adult full time job, and move out, I feel like I will finally have some damn relief, but who knows when that will come.
And then on top of all that they have the audacity to complain to me that I don't have a gf yet. I want nothing more than to tell them everything about the blackpill because I'm just about out of excuses. But I'm sure if I even said anything about blackpill ideology or being an incel they'd freak out about that too, so I can't do that.
Really it's becoming quite obnoxious at this point. I hate being at home but I can't afford to pay for my own life yet and I'd become a poorcel/homelesscel if I left my parent's household. I am still very much dependent on them and yet they wish to take away what little independence I do have.
Once again I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. It feels like every time I get out of a situation another one comes crashing down on me soon after and never gives me a break. Like the shitty people I worked with at my last job was just such a horrific situation, I got out of it by leaving, but as a consequence now I cannot find a job and that passes my parents off to no end. Like I am playing an RPG game and I always choose the bad options on accident but can't go back to a previous save.
It's not enough that I already hate myself for my own shortcomings and failures and am just trying to eek out one last push to graduate university, I also have to have two parents breathing down my neck at every fucking turn.
If I am ever able to graduate, get a real adult full time job, and move out, I feel like I will finally have some damn relief, but who knows when that will come.
