Story Ordering coffee in 2025 as an incel

[blackraven]

You wake up. Birds are chirping, sun is shining. You brush your teeth, take morning shower. Dress up your trousers,shirts, jacket. You decide to stop by at local cafe for a coffee. Theres a female barista. You ask for your coffee. She presses something on her monitor.

Suddenly zogmobile parks outside of cafe and two police officers 6"4 and 6"7 tall jump out.
FREEZE! HANDS UP! DON'T MOVE!
One of them officer then proceeds to explain that he got a call about attempted rape. Then he asks for your crypto wallet address to see if your wallet has sexhaver nft. It obviously doesn't. Should have known better. Incels talking to women got outlawed last week. Even for commercial purposes. Since this is your first time you get only 100 hours of work in coal mines and 0.1 bitcoin tax that will be used to fund local onlyfans sex workers.
You get your hands hand cuffed against your back and 6"7 police office officers guide you to the back of their van but 6"4 officer goes behind the bartend and starts fucking barista

 

[Gamblord]

You stared too long and you made the foid uncomfortable, which is sexual assault. Should have asked for consent first you bigot!

 

[mericks]

microscopic droplets of saliva fly out of your mouth every time you exhale. Some of those droplets will be inhaled by a nearby stacy. Therefore breathing the same air as a female is similar to kissing her. Cops book you for sexual assault because you didn't obtain consent. Judge goes ahead and sentences you to 20 years because there's no point in wasting time convening a jury with such a strong case.

In 2045 you are released from prison under the condition that you never leave your home without wearing an n95 respirator. You are on the sex offender list now so you will never be able to have a job. Also the Stacy is suing you for twenty years of back child support even though you never had sex with her.

 

[Hapacalyptist]

Birds are chirping, sun is shining.

Larp, in 2025 birds have gone extinct and you can longer see the sun due to the smog and pollution

 

[RuudVanNistelrooy]

You brush your teeth

@Saysitsover

 

[mbhan]

> you order coffee from small cafe

sorry bro, bc of inflation it could not work and there's now a starbucks with oat milk

 

[Nava]

Get the fuck out of Portland, retard. Any gentrified city with bitcoin ATMs and bike lanes needs to get nuked ASAP.

 

[Saysitsover]

If you brush your teeth 9 out of 10 times your Fakecel just saying. Once blackpill takes a real and full effect you lose the will for basic upkeep.

 

[UnknownR]

You wake up. Birds are chirping, sun is shining. You brush your teeth, take morning shower. Dress up your trousers,shirts, jacket. You decide to stop by at local cafe for a coffee. Theres a female barista. You ask for your coffee. She presses something on her monitor.

Suddenly zogmobile parks outside of cafe and two police officers 6"4 and 6"7 tall jump out.
FREEZE! HANDS UP! DON'T MOVE!
One of them officer then proceeds to explain that he got a call about attempted rape. Then he asks for your crypto wallet address to see if your wallet has sexhaver nft. It obviously doesn't. Should have known better. Incels talking to women got outlawed last week. Even for commercial purposes. Since this is your first time you get only 100 hours of work in coal mines and 0.1 bitcoin tax that will be used to fund local onlyfans sex workers.
You get your hands hand cuffed against your back and 6"7 police office officers guide you to the back of their van but 6"4 officer goes behind the bartend and starts fucking barista

 

[Mellatt]

If you brush your teeth 9 out of 10 times your Fakecel just saying. Once blackpill takes a real and full effect you lose the will for basic upkeep.

 

[Sigma]

Should be an opening scene for some dystopian-ish comedy