I think my recent attempts of committing suicide made me numb to pain, which I'm grateful for. I feel like in purgatory. I feel no happiness nor sadness. The things that used to hurt me just a week ago no longer gives pain. I simply don't give a fuck. When I feel like I'm going to be sad I remember my suicide attempts and how it is actually up to me to end my own life 'journey' I'm not dependent on anyone.
I'm a free man. I can make the decision to end my life or keep living. If I woke up tomorrow and feel like I don't want to live anymore, I can just end it. and knowing your end is up to you gives you chills, makes you relax. I know that's not a healthy mindset but my current situation and things that I went through gives me no other option.
I'm ready to die, I'm ready to bear all burden. the burden of humanity. I feel like I can bear the sorrow of the whole of humanity. I wouldn't care if I died while typing this, I wouldn't care if someone put a Glock to my head and pull the trigger, blow my brains out. actually, I'd just be happy.
I watch the videos of people that survived suicide attempts. Nearly all of them regret it and to make it sound more stupid, they say life is worth living. And I say, sure. Sure life is worth living if you're willing to bear all problems and sorrow in the world you'll be facing during the time you live on this fucking earth.
It is worth giving a chance if you think your life is up to you. it's worth giving a try if you think you can do whatever you want if you are a free man.
Imagine it, no slave would say that life is worth living. actually, they killed themselves. Only free-men thought that life is worth living.
What makes us think that life is worth living, even when actual slaves thought it's not. are we any different from slaves? no. we are just modern slaves that given false hopes to think that life is worth living.
It makes us more foolish than some newly arrived slaves with low IQs. They think life is world is not worth living but we do? that's fucking stupid, high-level coping mechanism.
I'm a free man. I can make the decision to end my life or keep living. If I woke up tomorrow and feel like I don't want to live anymore, I can just end it. and knowing your end is up to you gives you chills, makes you relax. I know that's not a healthy mindset but my current situation and things that I went through gives me no other option.
I'm ready to die, I'm ready to bear all burden. the burden of humanity. I feel like I can bear the sorrow of the whole of humanity. I wouldn't care if I died while typing this, I wouldn't care if someone put a Glock to my head and pull the trigger, blow my brains out. actually, I'd just be happy.
I watch the videos of people that survived suicide attempts. Nearly all of them regret it and to make it sound more stupid, they say life is worth living. And I say, sure. Sure life is worth living if you're willing to bear all problems and sorrow in the world you'll be facing during the time you live on this fucking earth.
It is worth giving a chance if you think your life is up to you. it's worth giving a try if you think you can do whatever you want if you are a free man.
Imagine it, no slave would say that life is worth living. actually, they killed themselves. Only free-men thought that life is worth living.
What makes us think that life is worth living, even when actual slaves thought it's not. are we any different from slaves? no. we are just modern slaves that given false hopes to think that life is worth living.
It makes us more foolish than some newly arrived slaves with low IQs. They think life is world is not worth living but we do? that's fucking stupid, high-level coping mechanism.
