About 3 years ago I was headed to Blackpool on the National Express, which is a 10 hour slog from where I was living at the time. As I was in the middle of a stretch of being a Homelesscel, which would end up lasting 5 and a half years, a friend of mine offered me his caravan in Blackpool for 2 weeks which I gladly accepted. After all, I could finally have a shower for the first time in a year and sleep in a bed so I was well up for it. Plus Blackpool is cheap as fuck for booze as it's a dive. All I had to do was get there, so I booked a coach ticket for about £20.
Normally a 10 hour bus journey would be hell, but for me it turned out to be the most fun part. It was a roasting hot August day and the coach was full, so no spare seats, and a tidy looking 20 something year old Becky was forced to sit next to me jfl
She looked horrified, didn't hide that whatsoever, bear in mind I was 3 years into a Homelesscel phase and hadn't showered or washed whatsoever in at least a year, long scraggy matted hair and beard, long dirty fingernails, teeth rotted outta my head, and as I'm homeless I had like 3 layers of clothes on and it was a fierce hot August day so I literally stank from about 10 feet away. It would bring tears to your eyes it was so overpowering, I didn't a give a shit tbh. She looked around frantically for ANY other seat but it was full, so she reluctantly took her seat next to me.
The first leg of journey was a straight 4 hour stretch with no stops, she literally had her face buried in her phone the whole time, for large parts not doing anything on it just staring intensely like she was trying to meditate her spirit out of her body for the journey. I even heard people rows of seats away complain to eachother about my smell so it was legit hell for the Becky next to me, but it gave me pleasure that she was repulsed by my stench but just had to sit and accept it.
The first long stop was Birmingham, and she couldn't get up fast enough lol, we had to wait there for a half hour. When we were getting back on I seen her talk to the bus driver who was finishing having a cigarette, and I heard her say:
"Please, I really can't bear to sit next to that man, he stinks and it's really offensive. I feel filthy and horrible in my skin right now thinking of him"
Better still was the Based bus drivers response:
"Look, I think it's disgusting too but what can I do? He paid for a ticket, nothing I can do. Sorry."
So she was forced to sit next to me again when she got back on Having heard what I heard her say, I made sure I dug out some empty-stomach proper, alcoholic farts which would make Buddah weep lol As well as have loud coughing fits without covering my mouth, picking my nose and teeth etc.
She couldn't get off that bus fast enough by the end, she was so flustered and in a state she dropped her handbag all over the aisle on the way off the bus and just left the contents where they fell, (don't think any money dropped out as I glanced down, just make-up and shit like that) didn't bother waiting to pick them up. She legit just wanted a million miles away from me and the whole situation. I often get a smile on my face whenever I think of this journey, and thinking of the panic and stress she must feel anytime she books a coach or train journey again, and the anxiety she for sure gets waiting to see who'll be sitting beside her as you can be damn sure she has never forgot that journey either LMFAO
Normally a 10 hour bus journey would be hell, but for me it turned out to be the most fun part. It was a roasting hot August day and the coach was full, so no spare seats, and a tidy looking 20 something year old Becky was forced to sit next to me jfl
She looked horrified, didn't hide that whatsoever, bear in mind I was 3 years into a Homelesscel phase and hadn't showered or washed whatsoever in at least a year, long scraggy matted hair and beard, long dirty fingernails, teeth rotted outta my head, and as I'm homeless I had like 3 layers of clothes on and it was a fierce hot August day so I literally stank from about 10 feet away. It would bring tears to your eyes it was so overpowering, I didn't a give a shit tbh. She looked around frantically for ANY other seat but it was full, so she reluctantly took her seat next to me.The first leg of journey was a straight 4 hour stretch with no stops, she literally had her face buried in her phone the whole time, for large parts not doing anything on it just staring intensely like she was trying to meditate her spirit out of her body for the journey. I even heard people rows of seats away complain to eachother about my smell so it was legit hell for the Becky next to me, but it gave me pleasure that she was repulsed by my stench but just had to sit and accept it.
The first long stop was Birmingham, and she couldn't get up fast enough lol, we had to wait there for a half hour. When we were getting back on I seen her talk to the bus driver who was finishing having a cigarette, and I heard her say:
"Please, I really can't bear to sit next to that man, he stinks and it's really offensive. I feel filthy and horrible in my skin right now thinking of him"
Better still was the Based bus drivers response:
"Look, I think it's disgusting too but what can I do? He paid for a ticket, nothing I can do. Sorry."
So she was forced to sit next to me again when she got back on
Having heard what I heard her say, I made sure I dug out some empty-stomach proper, alcoholic farts which would make Buddah weep lol As well as have loud coughing fits without covering my mouth, picking my nose and teeth etc.She couldn't get off that bus fast enough by the end, she was so flustered and in a state she dropped her handbag all over the aisle on the way off the bus and just left the contents where they fell, (don't think any money dropped out as I glanced down, just make-up and shit like that) didn't bother waiting to pick them up. She legit just wanted a million miles away from me and the whole situation. I often get a smile on my face whenever I think of this journey, and thinking of the panic and stress she must feel anytime she books a coach or train journey again, and the anxiety she for sure gets waiting to see who'll be sitting beside her as you can be damn sure she has never forgot that journey either LMFAO
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