
BlackLowLtn
Officer
★★★
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2024
- Posts
- 775
Gym for years? Check. Boxing? Check. Try out Powerlifting? Check. Callisthenics? Check. Trying out climbing centres for a while? Check. Running? Check. Gaming? Check. Anime? Check. Novels? Check. “Meeting people”? Failed miserably but check. Meditate? Check. Learning the piano? Not good at it but check. “Work on myself”? Check check check.
I’m so fucking unhappy I want to end it all right now holy shit, why is nothing working anymore, all my old copes are draining now I don’t even wanna think of them. I hardly even want to go outside if not for work/uni, and I stopped giving enough of a shit to hide my autism as much anymore it’s too fucking suffocating fuck.
Seeing people in love makes me so sad; Having no notifications on my phone after a long day is killing me mentally.
There is no calls outside of work; no “hi”s or a “hru”s; no “miss you”; no “can we hang out”; nothing. No care, no love, no want. Just the same fucking day again and again and again and again and again and again holy shit.
What am I supposed to do? How do people cope with this until their 30s-40s here? Are yall just fakecels larping for fucks like me to eat your shit up thinking you’d relate?
No fucking shot people are able to survive by 30 like this, I had the same fucking life for my whole 19 years of existence holy shit. Lived most of my life homeless/council housing, single abusive druggie mother, hardly any friends, autistic, bullied in a ghetto school of all places, beaten like a dog coming to and from school but keeping my head down just so I could atleast improve smth in my life… and for what? Nothing. Nada, real world there is no happiness at the end of the tunnel it’s just more hell.
Lmao, how are people still religious living the shitty lives that they do? Are you fucking serious I hope every single fucking harpie that preaches about karma and kindness all group up and die together like flies fucking pieces of shits I’m so done with this life. I genuinely wake up every morning in cold sweats in the amount of nightmares I have, it’s not funny anymore I am genuinely going insane nothing is working it’s all so frustrating so ANNOYING FUCKKKK
I’m so fucking unhappy I want to end it all right now holy shit, why is nothing working anymore, all my old copes are draining now I don’t even wanna think of them. I hardly even want to go outside if not for work/uni, and I stopped giving enough of a shit to hide my autism as much anymore it’s too fucking suffocating fuck.
Seeing people in love makes me so sad; Having no notifications on my phone after a long day is killing me mentally.
There is no calls outside of work; no “hi”s or a “hru”s; no “miss you”; no “can we hang out”; nothing. No care, no love, no want. Just the same fucking day again and again and again and again and again and again holy shit.
What am I supposed to do? How do people cope with this until their 30s-40s here? Are yall just fakecels larping for fucks like me to eat your shit up thinking you’d relate?
No fucking shot people are able to survive by 30 like this, I had the same fucking life for my whole 19 years of existence holy shit. Lived most of my life homeless/council housing, single abusive druggie mother, hardly any friends, autistic, bullied in a ghetto school of all places, beaten like a dog coming to and from school but keeping my head down just so I could atleast improve smth in my life… and for what? Nothing. Nada, real world there is no happiness at the end of the tunnel it’s just more hell.
Lmao, how are people still religious living the shitty lives that they do? Are you fucking serious I hope every single fucking harpie that preaches about karma and kindness all group up and die together like flies fucking pieces of shits I’m so done with this life. I genuinely wake up every morning in cold sweats in the amount of nightmares I have, it’s not funny anymore I am genuinely going insane nothing is working it’s all so frustrating so ANNOYING FUCKKKK