I tend to disagree with the idea that Incels.co changes people's minds. People say "Incel communities turn men bitter." I say it's the other way around, men turn bitter and then they join incel communities. But I have to concede, my mind has changed about something in the past couple of years, and maybe Incels.co did it to me.
Since I was a kid I knew I was short. But in my mind I saw it as ideal. In my sexual fantasies I wanted to be able to project two different images depending on the women I was having sex with. Sometimes I wanted to be the stalwart older brother figure to the more diminutive woman. And sometimes I wanted to shotamax for the predatory virgin killer woman. The way I saw it, if I was too short or too tall, I couldn't do both. But recently I've been feeling, even if I was to shotamax and play both roles, it's still better to be tall. Being tall doesn't absolve you from playing both roles. But being short definitely does. It might look at a glance like I was happy and open-minded at one point, but Incels.co jaded me. I don't wanna say for sure that's not how it happened.
It stems from comparing the two kinds of love those roles represent. It raises a question: Can Mommy ever love Baby the same way she loves Daddy? Most people would say no. Even non-incels would say no. She doesn't necessarily love Daddy more, but the love is different. And I would argue, superior. Something's changed now. To be that guy she can look up to as she rests her hand on your chest, it's really the only way. But only Daddy can do that. I want that. People tell me "You don't really want that, this is just an internalized misrepresentation of the love you feel for Mommy." No, damn it, I know how I feel. Maybe I don't know why I feel it, but I know how I feel. I don't just want Mommy to love me. I want Mommy to love me like she loves Daddy. I don't wanna be Baby anymore.
The only way that can happen is, I can't be Mommy's Baby anymore. And Daddy can't be Mommy's man anymore.
Since I was a kid I knew I was short. But in my mind I saw it as ideal. In my sexual fantasies I wanted to be able to project two different images depending on the women I was having sex with. Sometimes I wanted to be the stalwart older brother figure to the more diminutive woman. And sometimes I wanted to shotamax for the predatory virgin killer woman. The way I saw it, if I was too short or too tall, I couldn't do both. But recently I've been feeling, even if I was to shotamax and play both roles, it's still better to be tall. Being tall doesn't absolve you from playing both roles. But being short definitely does. It might look at a glance like I was happy and open-minded at one point, but Incels.co jaded me. I don't wanna say for sure that's not how it happened.
It stems from comparing the two kinds of love those roles represent. It raises a question: Can Mommy ever love Baby the same way she loves Daddy? Most people would say no. Even non-incels would say no. She doesn't necessarily love Daddy more, but the love is different. And I would argue, superior. Something's changed now. To be that guy she can look up to as she rests her hand on your chest, it's really the only way. But only Daddy can do that. I want that. People tell me "You don't really want that, this is just an internalized misrepresentation of the love you feel for Mommy." No, damn it, I know how I feel. Maybe I don't know why I feel it, but I know how I feel. I don't just want Mommy to love me. I want Mommy to love me like she loves Daddy. I don't wanna be Baby anymore.
The only way that can happen is, I can't be Mommy's Baby anymore. And Daddy can't be Mommy's man anymore.
