Reality is you're an incel and nobody will give a fuck. Most people will pretend to care that you killed yourself and go on with their lives. Only two people that might care are your parents and even they will get over it eventually. The only thing that matters is the fact that you're suffering and that you want to end it.
I actually kind of respect people that have the balls to actually go through with it.
anyway,or they will hate you or they will dont care no much diference about how they think about
so isnt about what other people think
but what other people will feel or do after we are out of this life
a stupid story about it:
my grandma had husband and two sons:
-cedric (my father)
-sebastian
some context before:
my family had some pretty bad record about familiar relation and mental health
so my uncle sebastian was schizo (diagnostisaded) and maybe depressed
my father and uncle,had what we can call a ''savage younghood'' because they had material needs but develop serius emotional/afective problems so they grow up bitter,cynic,violen,self hating and self loathing etc (even if they had sex i know we incels understand how is feeling like that)
they had a great relation with my granpa,he was a great and honest man
my grandma was good intetionated but had several toxic (damaging) behaviors.like trrying to control others lifes,being greedy,stingy (my dad several times had to go to UNI using clothes given by political and publicity campaigns),so their emotional needs were never fullfiled
but my grandpa helped my grandma with her personality
now lets begin with the story:
my grandfather died in a car accident (my family ascendence by dad side,and my mom side poor is moderatly rich,so my grandpa liked to collect some cars)
a awfull blow against all my family (grandma,dad and uncle),mental health
my uncle couldnt handle it and commited suicide by medicine overdose
my grandma had a mental breakdown and never fully recovered ,now she is pretty sensible and try to help me and my half sister all she can to fix her pasts mistakes (like some redemption purgatory),and is overprotective and atached
(about my half sister,my dad divorced from my mom the same year of the already quoted incidents,it wanst completly fault of any of them,both of them had their flaws and their shity problems that hurted the relation,now both of them are better .my dad have a new wife and stablle life,to my mom took longer but now she is getting medical help for her BPD since two years)
if people love even if you dont deserve it ,suicide is like telling to them
''no matter how hard you loved me,you failed,your son/father/brother/cousin/friend/etc is a failure,your genetic pool/actions/intentions were a failure,so by asociation you are a failure too''
and that hurt like hell,imagine giving everything you have to someone and yet still being not enough
(if you had fall in love and had been mock,i think you will understand the feel,but for a loving parenth is even worse)
