So I went out with friends today and while I had a pleasant time when I came back home I just felt empty like I did not socialize at all. Felt sad and depressed. My brain has been fucked from so many traumatic experiences and nothing probably could fix it. Unironically what could potentially fix my negative mindset is having a girlfriend who would love me and I've been daydreaming a lot recently and just imagined my life with the perfect woman but knowing that I am incapable of obtaining one just makes me suicidal. Stumbled upon women who I know would brutally reject me and knowing that these pretty women are being intimate and loving to that one lucky person is upsetting me. What did we do in our previous lives to be condemned to such cruel fate ? I am a human too and want to experience all of those things that normies did yet knowing I missed out on 90% of things and that my childhood is over is absolutely brutal for me. I rot all of my teenager years and that's the time where usually you are supposed to have the most fun. Get drunk, high and living to the fullest with no limits.
