Basically I was a sophomore in high school but since I flunked math so badly freshman year I had to be in a math class full of freshman a year younger than me for my sophomore year. There was one truecel kid who was 10x more truecel than me whom this tallfag would pick on because he was a low inhib hockey player that all the girls liked. He used to make me feel awkward all of the time, or pick on me as well.
If I was staring off into space he would snap his fingers in front of my face purposefully to mock me for not paying attention and to assert some kind of dominance over me. He also once pushed my pencil off my desk right in front of me and then I stared into his eyes to try and appear threatening but I think he just thought it was funny and thought I was gonna sperg out.
Anyways the teacher was a bald guy in his 60s who I actually used to like as a teacher since he taught in my middle school for an extra help class for math, but even he started being a fucking prick to me. For instance there was this kid with dark curly hair who sat behind me who was very talkative and extremely NT, and he voice mogged even though his voice wasn’t as deep as mine off of his tone and the way he worded things alone, since I sounded like a socially handicapped autist by comparison. This kid would also mock me for being absent a lot and he once mocked me by saying “hmm? Go to school??” In a dumb sounding voice as if to say I’m some retard.
It’s as if I was respected by nobody in that class like always, because one time that same kid wouldn’t stop talking and he was one of those turbo low inhib NTs that would spontaneously talk to the teacher whenever he wanted even if no one was allowed to talk, or he would say just about anything on his mind and the teacher would just happily engage in a conversation with him as if they were buddies or something. So then I decided that I wanted to be like him, because I thought that all I had to do was talk a certain way to be respected.
It was then I decided to try and be low inhib and blurt out the first thing that came to mind, and I kind of forgot what that was but I guess it wasn’t relevant. Anyways after I finish my sentence the teacher looks absolutely pissed and his face is blood red like a fucking tomato, and he tells me in a serious voice “(my name), you need to be quiet… The test just started, you NEED to quiet down…”
It’s like, how the fuck was I supposed to know that? Everyone was having a fucking yapathon 10 seconds earlier, it’s not my fault I’m an autist who can’t pick up on the smallest of social cues to know when to be quiet. It made me want to fucking kill myself because it felt like any time I wanted to be like the other kids I would always get shut down immediately.
The final cringe moment in that godforsaken class was when it was the day that we got out of school before Christmas break and the same teacher was playing music from his computer as he talked to the class casually. Basically he always played songs from a long playlist of songs on his computer since he taught in my middle school a few years prior, and he played a lot of decent songs.
I shit you not the only thing I asked him was “is that the same computer you had from when you taught in (the name of my middle school)?” I asked him this because I wondered if he had all the same files for every song he liked to play, but I guess it was a mega oddly specific autist question looking back on it because he could’ve just redownloaded the songs. Anyways him and the ENTIRE FUCKING CLASS stare at me like I have ten fucking heads.
They look genuinely perplexed at what I asked, as if I asked the fucking teacher if I could start jerking off or something. Because all eyes were on me judgementally, I went completely red in the face and my heart started pounding like crazy. I could feel a combination of shame, cringe, fear, and anger all boiling within me at once. Even the faggot who knocked over my pencil and the one who mocked me for being absent were looking at me like I was a retard. I genuinely wanted to fucking cry, and the only silver lining to that day was that it was the last day of school before break.
Anyway there is one positive thing from this story, it turns out a few years after I left that school that same math teacher got knocked the fuck out by a student, I hope he broke his fucking nose and I honestly don’t blame the kid for whatever reason he knocked him out. I should’ve done the same thing to him and every fucker and foid in that class for making me feel like I was the biggest loser in the fucking world. NonNT pill will always be one of my biggest pills, and something so insignificant as what I described in this story is exactly why I will never get laid. That and I look retarded of course.
If I was staring off into space he would snap his fingers in front of my face purposefully to mock me for not paying attention and to assert some kind of dominance over me. He also once pushed my pencil off my desk right in front of me and then I stared into his eyes to try and appear threatening but I think he just thought it was funny and thought I was gonna sperg out.
Anyways the teacher was a bald guy in his 60s who I actually used to like as a teacher since he taught in my middle school for an extra help class for math, but even he started being a fucking prick to me. For instance there was this kid with dark curly hair who sat behind me who was very talkative and extremely NT, and he voice mogged even though his voice wasn’t as deep as mine off of his tone and the way he worded things alone, since I sounded like a socially handicapped autist by comparison. This kid would also mock me for being absent a lot and he once mocked me by saying “hmm? Go to school??” In a dumb sounding voice as if to say I’m some retard.
It’s as if I was respected by nobody in that class like always, because one time that same kid wouldn’t stop talking and he was one of those turbo low inhib NTs that would spontaneously talk to the teacher whenever he wanted even if no one was allowed to talk, or he would say just about anything on his mind and the teacher would just happily engage in a conversation with him as if they were buddies or something. So then I decided that I wanted to be like him, because I thought that all I had to do was talk a certain way to be respected.
It was then I decided to try and be low inhib and blurt out the first thing that came to mind, and I kind of forgot what that was but I guess it wasn’t relevant. Anyways after I finish my sentence the teacher looks absolutely pissed and his face is blood red like a fucking tomato, and he tells me in a serious voice “(my name), you need to be quiet… The test just started, you NEED to quiet down…”
It’s like, how the fuck was I supposed to know that? Everyone was having a fucking yapathon 10 seconds earlier, it’s not my fault I’m an autist who can’t pick up on the smallest of social cues to know when to be quiet. It made me want to fucking kill myself because it felt like any time I wanted to be like the other kids I would always get shut down immediately.
The final cringe moment in that godforsaken class was when it was the day that we got out of school before Christmas break and the same teacher was playing music from his computer as he talked to the class casually. Basically he always played songs from a long playlist of songs on his computer since he taught in my middle school a few years prior, and he played a lot of decent songs.
I shit you not the only thing I asked him was “is that the same computer you had from when you taught in (the name of my middle school)?” I asked him this because I wondered if he had all the same files for every song he liked to play, but I guess it was a mega oddly specific autist question looking back on it because he could’ve just redownloaded the songs. Anyways him and the ENTIRE FUCKING CLASS stare at me like I have ten fucking heads.
They look genuinely perplexed at what I asked, as if I asked the fucking teacher if I could start jerking off or something. Because all eyes were on me judgementally, I went completely red in the face and my heart started pounding like crazy. I could feel a combination of shame, cringe, fear, and anger all boiling within me at once. Even the faggot who knocked over my pencil and the one who mocked me for being absent were looking at me like I was a retard. I genuinely wanted to fucking cry, and the only silver lining to that day was that it was the last day of school before break.
Anyway there is one positive thing from this story, it turns out a few years after I left that school that same math teacher got knocked the fuck out by a student, I hope he broke his fucking nose and I honestly don’t blame the kid for whatever reason he knocked him out. I should’ve done the same thing to him and every fucker and foid in that class for making me feel like I was the biggest loser in the fucking world. NonNT pill will always be one of my biggest pills, and something so insignificant as what I described in this story is exactly why I will never get laid. That and I look retarded of course.
