Venting No matter what direction my life takes, I won’t make it to old age.

[SchrodingersDick]

“The only thing that makes old age bearable is memories of youth.”

That’s a (paraphrased) quote by someone.. forgot who.

I’m turning 25 tomorrow.. a quarter century old.. I spent the last 10 years of my life in my room.. alone, sad, and bald.. alone ever since puberty really.. haven’t had any relationships or any experiences.. (1 experience if you count working).. I spent my childhood feeling like I was drowning and always wanted a little bit more, to be treated like a person.. i looked forward to the future, thinking it would be kind to me.. I thought things would change with time.. boy was I wrong. I’m drowning to this day, but for the first time, the future doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t have visions of better days to keep me hopeful anymore.. I missed out on the most crucial years of life.. i just wanted to be young and happy even for a day. I wanted to experience what real youth was like. I never got to experience it.. it’s too late now.. In this lifetime, I will never know what it’s like to be young and carefree. And I won’t get another lifetime to try again... if anyone ever tells me any stories of their youth, or what my youth was like or says anything that I should be able to relate to, I won’t be able to relate. I won’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. I never lived through any of it. I never experienced it. My past is 25 years of blankness. Like I was born a 25 year old man with no knowledge of prior life..

I missed every single developmental milestone.. I have atleast 10 years of lost time to make up for.. and I’m too old to start making up for it. Those milestones will remains missed.. I can’t just start up from scratch right now at 25, doing things I should have done when I was 15.. I get one life, and I miss out on it.. my life has become a nightmare I can’t wake up from. I sometimes laugh to myself over just how bad things got for me.. I get manic and trip out that things could even possibly get this bad.. my worst nightmares are realized..I missed out on my life.. I’ll blink and I’ll be an old man next..

The pain is too great for me to ever be a normal person. I’m broken.. I haven’t made any memories to help carry me in old age. If I get my hair transplant right now, that can give me a few years of relationships and experiences, though I don’t even know if I can have relationships anymore.. I dont think I’m capable of it. 10 years of being alone and looking out into the world and wishing I was a part of it has broken me beyond repair.. I’m just too far gone..

No matter what I do, even if the future starting right now is pristine, ages 0-25 we’re a nightmare. So far, the only thing I’ve known is suffering, loneliness, isolation, sadness, and desperation.. that’s it.. the specimen that is me hasn’t felt anything else. Just didn’t happen for me. There’s always gonna be a gaping hole inside me.. there’s always gonna be like a movie reel missing from my life.. ages 0-25.. I really don’t think I can live with that. I don’t see myself as a well adjusted 30 year old, much less 40,50+ year old.. I won’t have children no matter how much I want them; I’ll always be thinking about the youth I missed out on. I’m not really complete.. like playing level 2 when you haven’t played level 1 yet.. idk how else to put it.. i can’t be 80, alone, and think back on how I didn’t make any memories in my youth.. If something doesn’t kill me before then, it’s gonna be suicide for me. I’ve suffered a lot, and I’ve known pain intimately.. but I think it all pales in comparison to what awaits me in the future. I’m truly afraid. No matter how bad things are for me right now, I know they’re going to be exponentially worse, and I know I won’t survive it.. It’s a scary thought.

In other words.. Im alive right now despite death already being preferable to my life, but I know that my suffering hasn’t even begun yet.

 

[Aspiecel]

I'm a few years older than you. The worst of my suffering happened in my early 20s. As I grew older the suffering got less and less. I stopped caring so much about the things that bothered me. A few things I'd recommend are don't use drugs/alcohol, lift weights daily, and don't look at porn

 

[acnescarcel]

start getting high asap

 

[hearmeout]

Depressing thoughts. I am lately thinking of suicide too (loosly), but i havent faced the complete emptiness you have experienced. I am feeling my life falling apart day by day and I fear being alone for 50 years having no one to love as my looks decay further. I too think that I wont endure that shit. And knowing i have the possibility to opt-out from life at any moment somehow comforts me a little bit. Though you should still think of family and friends if any.

I really dont want to imagine being in your shoes. I can only say to you that you should still try to make the most out of your existance. Try to make serious money and somehow lowinhibmaxx try to make up for the lost years, maybe escortcell. I say this to you not so you can get foids but so you can make your existance as pleasing as possible

 

[Father_Gascoigne]

I spent my childhood feeling like I was drowning and always wanted a little bit more, to be treated like a person.. i looked forward to the future, thinking it would be kind to me.. I thought things would change with time.. boy was I wrong.

That's why the blackpill needs to be taught in every school of every country, like a "vaccine" of sorts usually given to prevent polio, measles or some disease, in this case, it would be to prevent you from falling into a downward spiral

You don't administer rabies vaccine after a person is bitten.

 

[investigatorcel]

19 years of failures here, I can not take it anymore

 

[PaulSmenis]

Things really don't get better biologically as you age past a certain point...so it may not be the worst prospect to die young. If nothing else, the Spartans held such a view for a reason.

The best things age bring you that society cannot take away, relate more intimately with experience and being able to retain a certain calm and confidence regardless the insanity around you. Beyond that...watching your body function a little less effectively with each passing year, gives the prospect of an early demise a certain degree of desirability.

 

[Deleted member 6214]

.

 

[turbocuckcel_7000]

I don't know what to tell you man, it's so hard and fucked up nowadays once you're out of education, nobody from the older generations or who's been in a relationship since the 2000s has any idea, there's only a few tiny chances left, like there's tiny chance that a new job could save you and you meet compatible people there, and a tiny chance you might meet people in some kind of hobby that you truly care about (even if it's just autistic shit like videogames or whatever)

Even lower tier normies around me have no options besides finding an ugly urchin of a woman that they massively heightmog/looksmog and who has already been fucked by their friends or coworkers, so they can pretend that 'this is it' and strut around a little

 

[TheRealChincel]

Reading that was tough, OP.

 

[StaroRavager]

ER or rope tbh

 

[lurker45]

There should be a way for incels to wipe their memory. I hate having to think about high school every single day of my life and all the missed and lost opportunities almost a decade after the fact. I'm in a cage with my memories.

 

[djKhaled_Lookism]

I’m sorry my man. We just weren’t meant to be like this- born in the worst time in history to be a man, and the situation worsening each year. We can either bear the knowledge that things will get a lot worse and live on, or give up and rope.

 

[ihaveno1]

Reading that was tough, OP.

 

[iKillCucks]

ER or rope tbh

 

[Psychonaut]

Nothing really gets better as time passes, it just gets worse, every single person finding love yet you're just alone with sadness and an aging body. Just rope

 

[andinocel]

I will prob rope at some point before I reach old age...I don’t want to become a lonely old man whose corpse will be discovered by neighbors two weeks after I die alone.

 

[Deleted member 15737]

Didn’t you just make a thread a few days ago about how making your dick bigger through exercises was going to be the key to you ascending? jfl

 

[SchrodingersDick]

Didn’t you just make a thread a few days ago about how making your dick bigger through exercises was going to be the key to you ascending? jfl

Yeah. I want to be known as a big dick guy and want everyone to mire my dick print thru my pants so I can get some validation .. ascension or not, I’m roping before old age. Nothing can make up for being alone for this long.. I’m just tryna salvage the rest of my life

 

[Deleted member 6599]

I read all that. I feel for ya, it sucks ass.

 

[Henry de Montherlant]

I'm a few years older than you. The worst of my suffering happened in my early 20s. As I grew older the suffering got less and less. I stopped caring so much about the things that bothered me. A few things I'd recommend are don't use drugs/alcohol, lift weights daily, and don't look at porn

Listen to this guy OP. Wise advice from an oldercel tbh.

I'm already doing those tbh (except the porn part lol), I hope it will get "better" in my 30's.

Reading that was tough, OP.

Also this. It's like looking into a mirror while having your brain electrocuted.

I read all that. I feel for ya, it sucks ass.

Worst use of signature gif ever recorded tbh .