I struggle to form real life connections, for the most part I stay home by myself all day, no interactions with anyone at all.
Maybe once a year or so I will get together with an old group from highschool or primary school but the whole interaction feels really shallow because, well, they are all normies, they have a lot of sex, and these rare interactions I have so I don't go completely insane from loneliness are kinda suicidefuel for that reason. I can also never be myself around them because if they knew what I was actually going through or my true opinions they'd hate me.
So fast forward to now, a male who I used to go to school with but wasn't very close to was in the local news for a big attempt at his own life, and obviously when I saw this and realised it was a person I knew I felt, well I wanted to talk to him. I honestly don't believe I am capable of making friends, that always backfires and is brutal, so a friendship is out of the question realistically. But I want to talk to him. I actually want to know someone irl who is suffering like I am, who I can relate to, and maybe just have a conversation or two where I can be myself around someone I know. Someone who isn't millions of miles away.
Everyone I've met in person has perfect lives compared to me and they are all better looking, with better social skills. But this guy tried to end it. He's in the same boat as me and that means a lot, it's the first time I've ever had any sort of relatable feeling towards anyone I've met in the flesh and I want to be able to express that but I can't. I have already contacted him wishing him the best and expressing I'm glad he's alive and he survived it and stuff, but for the most part I get one word responses and things. And it just sucks because once again my terrible social skills and boring personality is holding me back from any meaningful conversation I could ever have with someone irl. So if anyone knows how to go about this, it would be nice ngl
Maybe once a year or so I will get together with an old group from highschool or primary school but the whole interaction feels really shallow because, well, they are all normies, they have a lot of sex, and these rare interactions I have so I don't go completely insane from loneliness are kinda suicidefuel for that reason. I can also never be myself around them because if they knew what I was actually going through or my true opinions they'd hate me.
So fast forward to now, a male who I used to go to school with but wasn't very close to was in the local news for a big attempt at his own life, and obviously when I saw this and realised it was a person I knew I felt, well I wanted to talk to him. I honestly don't believe I am capable of making friends, that always backfires and is brutal, so a friendship is out of the question realistically. But I want to talk to him. I actually want to know someone irl who is suffering like I am, who I can relate to, and maybe just have a conversation or two where I can be myself around someone I know. Someone who isn't millions of miles away.
Everyone I've met in person has perfect lives compared to me and they are all better looking, with better social skills. But this guy tried to end it. He's in the same boat as me and that means a lot, it's the first time I've ever had any sort of relatable feeling towards anyone I've met in the flesh and I want to be able to express that but I can't. I have already contacted him wishing him the best and expressing I'm glad he's alive and he survived it and stuff, but for the most part I get one word responses and things. And it just sucks because once again my terrible social skills and boring personality is holding me back from any meaningful conversation I could ever have with someone irl. So if anyone knows how to go about this, it would be nice ngl
Last edited:
