![Deleted member 22572](/data/avatars/m/22/22572.jpg?1612658909)
Deleted member 22572
Banned
-
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2019
- Posts
- 24,076
I've been bullied and picked on my whole life and as much as that dented my happiness, I felt the biggest blow to my ego was by someone in the incel community. I forget what it was in a response to but they said "and you're deformed, fuck off!"
That really upset me and actually had me upset when I was trying to sleep last night even thought it was multiple days ago. I have come to expect normies will bully me because of my deformity, it's a part of me. When it comes to incels.co, I see it as a kind of home. Users may insult me for my "autistic" threads, say I'm low IQ, say "didn't read!" and all that, but I NEVER felt embarrassed about being deformed here ever. My deformity is the thing I am most insecure about. It may seem like I care most about being "high IQ", but if someone called me stupid, and someone mocked me for my deformity, I would be infinitely more hurt by the mockery of my deformity.
It struck a certain way because ever since then I've felt less comfortable and happy on here. Reading "and you're deformed fuck off" was almost like a way for the site to tell me "We're all ugly, but your DEFORMED, you're a whole new level of ugly, you aren't one of us, you're below us, YOUR A FREAK". I saw incels.co as a place where I felt like there was a community who wouldn't see me as a freak for being ugly, maybe I'd be seeing as an annoying brother who rambles a lot, but not a disgusting abominable freak. That's why I spend so much time here responding to every thread. I feel like I am surrounded by people who aren't disgusted with me or stare at me with pity. Now I realize I may be so fucking ugly that even incels.co would consider me unworthy.
That really upset me and actually had me upset when I was trying to sleep last night even thought it was multiple days ago. I have come to expect normies will bully me because of my deformity, it's a part of me. When it comes to incels.co, I see it as a kind of home. Users may insult me for my "autistic" threads, say I'm low IQ, say "didn't read!" and all that, but I NEVER felt embarrassed about being deformed here ever. My deformity is the thing I am most insecure about. It may seem like I care most about being "high IQ", but if someone called me stupid, and someone mocked me for my deformity, I would be infinitely more hurt by the mockery of my deformity.
It struck a certain way because ever since then I've felt less comfortable and happy on here. Reading "and you're deformed fuck off" was almost like a way for the site to tell me "We're all ugly, but your DEFORMED, you're a whole new level of ugly, you aren't one of us, you're below us, YOUR A FREAK". I saw incels.co as a place where I felt like there was a community who wouldn't see me as a freak for being ugly, maybe I'd be seeing as an annoying brother who rambles a lot, but not a disgusting abominable freak. That's why I spend so much time here responding to every thread. I feel like I am surrounded by people who aren't disgusted with me or stare at me with pity. Now I realize I may be so fucking ugly that even incels.co would consider me unworthy.