Before Inceldom
I had no friends.
I suffered from voicepill (people would ask me to repeat myself, because I was too quiet).
I am downright ugly.
I never understood why I was like no one else. Everybody managed to make friends easily and could engage in conversations and be sociable. It was alien to me. I looked at these people with the utmost jealously. I could never engage in their parties, clubbing, concerts, hangouts etc. Because I would look so out of place and because of my ugly looks, people wouldn't feel comfortable to have me in their picturesque life.
I vented to a guy at my university about my struggles with making friends and he called me an "incel". I look back at the old conversation and my reply was "I don't hate women". That led me to research about inceldom and realised how it had nothing to do with hating women, but being ugly. For the first time in my life, I found people who I can relate too. I cried when I saw INCELTV's videos. I think the video was titled "Self-Improvement" and it sent me into absolute misery.
Taking the blackpill
I began posting here(on an older account too) and accessing incel and lookism content 24/7.
I stopped caring and looking after myself.
I would cry looking at myself at the mirror.
I stopped attending university classes and had to drop out failing.
I descended into the pits of hell and I was literally rotting on my bed and laptop. I made some attempts to climb back into normality, but I would give up after not seeing sufficient results.
What led me to leaving this shithole?
1. Terrible life circumstances as a consequences of being an incel with a no-care attitude.
2. Lots of fakecels in the forums and discord made be feel even more isolated. Even though alot of incels are isolated individuals, I found it harder to find posters I could relate with. Alot of caveats in some posters here:
- They are wealthy and can afford several escorts
- Has several friends irl
- Insulting/Making fun of interests/hobbies an incel has
3. Constant rambling about suicide, depression became tiresome.
4. So many incels were NEETs who failed their education so it became difficult to accept the ideas and theories they gave. Their lack of critical thinking in their comments was really evident and so it made it harder to accept blackpill theory.
Leaving the Incelsphere
I didn't want to be in the same situation I was in, because I hated myself and wanted to die.
I'm coping so hard right now and I bluepilled myself from a defeatist and nihilistic mindset.
Our brains functions with neuroplasticity, so it is possible to change our minds and ideas. I did it when I took the blackpill, so I tried reversing the blackpill effect.
1. Accepting you're worthless and therefore anything you achieve is a success for yourself. Like I'm never going to have sex or have a partner, so why make myself suffer even more by rotting.
2. Finding a pursuit in life - Since I know I will be a perma virgin, I have dedicated myself to my career. Essentially becoming a wagecuck or npc. It was hard and brutal to accept this.
3. Increasing friction towards inceldom - I began associating anything incel with alot of disgust. I reflect on my worst days and I don't want to be in that situation ever again. I think about how most posters here are NEETs and are low iq and these are the people I don't want to associate with. It's probably not completely true, but it helps me to deter away from inceldom.
I've been alot happier since trying to re-identify myself and self-grow. It feels strange because I'm well aware of my mental barrier from the blackpill. This mental block to achieve happiness prevents me from having mental fatigue(this results in you making bad decisions), think proactively and therefore I can try to engage in something meaningful.
I had no friends.
I suffered from voicepill (people would ask me to repeat myself, because I was too quiet).
I am downright ugly.
I never understood why I was like no one else. Everybody managed to make friends easily and could engage in conversations and be sociable. It was alien to me. I looked at these people with the utmost jealously. I could never engage in their parties, clubbing, concerts, hangouts etc. Because I would look so out of place and because of my ugly looks, people wouldn't feel comfortable to have me in their picturesque life.
I vented to a guy at my university about my struggles with making friends and he called me an "incel". I look back at the old conversation and my reply was "I don't hate women". That led me to research about inceldom and realised how it had nothing to do with hating women, but being ugly. For the first time in my life, I found people who I can relate too. I cried when I saw INCELTV's videos. I think the video was titled "Self-Improvement" and it sent me into absolute misery.
Taking the blackpill
I began posting here(on an older account too) and accessing incel and lookism content 24/7.
I stopped caring and looking after myself.
I would cry looking at myself at the mirror.
I stopped attending university classes and had to drop out failing.
I descended into the pits of hell and I was literally rotting on my bed and laptop. I made some attempts to climb back into normality, but I would give up after not seeing sufficient results.
What led me to leaving this shithole?
1. Terrible life circumstances as a consequences of being an incel with a no-care attitude.
2. Lots of fakecels in the forums and discord made be feel even more isolated. Even though alot of incels are isolated individuals, I found it harder to find posters I could relate with. Alot of caveats in some posters here:
- They are wealthy and can afford several escorts
- Has several friends irl
- Insulting/Making fun of interests/hobbies an incel has
3. Constant rambling about suicide, depression became tiresome.
4. So many incels were NEETs who failed their education so it became difficult to accept the ideas and theories they gave. Their lack of critical thinking in their comments was really evident and so it made it harder to accept blackpill theory.
Leaving the Incelsphere
I didn't want to be in the same situation I was in, because I hated myself and wanted to die.
I'm coping so hard right now and I bluepilled myself from a defeatist and nihilistic mindset.
Our brains functions with neuroplasticity, so it is possible to change our minds and ideas. I did it when I took the blackpill, so I tried reversing the blackpill effect.
1. Accepting you're worthless and therefore anything you achieve is a success for yourself. Like I'm never going to have sex or have a partner, so why make myself suffer even more by rotting.
2. Finding a pursuit in life - Since I know I will be a perma virgin, I have dedicated myself to my career. Essentially becoming a wagecuck or npc. It was hard and brutal to accept this.
3. Increasing friction towards inceldom - I began associating anything incel with alot of disgust. I reflect on my worst days and I don't want to be in that situation ever again. I think about how most posters here are NEETs and are low iq and these are the people I don't want to associate with. It's probably not completely true, but it helps me to deter away from inceldom.
I've been alot happier since trying to re-identify myself and self-grow. It feels strange because I'm well aware of my mental barrier from the blackpill. This mental block to achieve happiness prevents me from having mental fatigue(this results in you making bad decisions), think proactively and therefore I can try to engage in something meaningful.
