We met in some type of college. She's a ltb but intelligent and nt. I loved since my eyes laid down on her for the first time.
I've always been either the class clown or the weird kid. So guess how happy I was when she talked to me for the fist time like a normal human being. I couldn't believe what just happened that day. I told myself maybe this is deliverance from 18 years of inceldom, my ascension.
Then, once the class started to get less awkward, she started giving compliments out of nowhere(I've been rated sub3 and I'm nd so don't start with the allegations) and was laughing when I was being funny(autistic).
At first I thought she was being genuine. For a moment, I felt seen. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t real. I knew she was just clowning me but I preferred to live in my delusions. In addition to that, she was flirting with other dudes right in front of me and hugging them too
I’d catch her laughing with her friends after talking to me, and I realized I was just a joke to her. It hurt, but I couldn’t stop craving that attention. Even if it was fake, it felt like the closest I’d ever get to someone.
Now years later, I still miss her. I miss the way she made me feel, even if it was all a lie. That’s the worst part. I know she was playing me, but I can’t stop thinking about her.I dream about her every week. Every song reminds me of her and I feel like it's gone be this way until I die.
I've always been either the class clown or the weird kid. So guess how happy I was when she talked to me for the fist time like a normal human being. I couldn't believe what just happened that day. I told myself maybe this is deliverance from 18 years of inceldom, my ascension.
Then, once the class started to get less awkward, she started giving compliments out of nowhere(I've been rated sub3 and I'm nd so don't start with the allegations) and was laughing when I was being funny(autistic).
At first I thought she was being genuine. For a moment, I felt seen. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t real. I knew she was just clowning me but I preferred to live in my delusions. In addition to that, she was flirting with other dudes right in front of me and hugging them too
I’d catch her laughing with her friends after talking to me, and I realized I was just a joke to her. It hurt, but I couldn’t stop craving that attention. Even if it was fake, it felt like the closest I’d ever get to someone.
Now years later, I still miss her. I miss the way she made me feel, even if it was all a lie. That’s the worst part. I know she was playing me, but I can’t stop thinking about her.I dream about her every week. Every song reminds me of her and I feel like it's gone be this way until I die.
