I tell you what in 2020 the last ever application I wrote before entering university was for an apprentanceship for a job as "Banking Assistant" at Targobank AG.
I aint kidding when I say that this was the craziest, most agonizing, brutally competitive application process I have EVER had. I started by applying with my 1.4 GDP Highschool diploma and several references such as my Business English Diploma and even a suggestion from the Job Center (Because the job center women I eventually had to get me a job was annoyed that after 1 year of applying to hundreds of firms no one was taking me in) I once again wrote a personalized application and even FAKED my CV (I faked it in such a way that I only went to 2 different HS so that I had a more linear 'lifepath' - I went to 4 HS in my life, I also faked several 'internship experiences' on the CV simply so that I could have a higher chance of being taken).
They accepted my appication and I was one of 200 different candidates of 500 (!!!) applicants overall to be taken to the next step - which was once again an online personality test, the test was about 2 hours of my time and had several "How would you consider youself in XYZ" questions.
I once again beat the test and was one of 25 different people to be taken for a - no not an interview - Assessement Center. This one took a whole 10 hours. First of all we needed to prepare a Power-Point presentation about ourselves as well as our interests and a personal topic of hour choice. I did this professionally as can be, I still have it somewhere. When we met, we first introduced ourselves, there were candidates between the ages of 16 and 25 - on dude even already had a Masters Degree but for some reason "Wanted to do something else" there were in fact several people that already had a job while I did not. After that we did a IQ-Test, standarized, several questions about history and math and physics and finances etc. Then a manager explained the job that we could do to us and that we are the final 25 of 500 overall people to apply, everyone including me was dressed niceley, like a professional banker. No one, not me included was anyway Socially Anxious, everyone had hoped to be it, but eventually a few people already started to shift more into the "Interest" of the manager. The manager then questioned us personally what we know about Targo Bank and what Targo Bank makes different from other German banks, barely anyone knew much but a few persons - including me.
Then we headed off to do our presentations - it was in front of 2 women.
It was okey I guess, I did not stutter or was anxious, because ultimately Ive done that shit already a few times by now.
Afterwards most likely was the NEXT part that made it so that I was excluded from the job - we had to assemble in 2 groups and talk about a topic considering how we would "Operate a Management System at Targo Bank" - I started of with the PDCA cycle, (PDCA or plan–do–check–act is an iterative design and management method used in business for the control and continual improvement of processes and products) not many did know what that was all about, but then came a few people that like talked incredible nonsense, they tried to like make ridiculous childish suggestions and others considered "To invest a few million euros as budged for the Audition" and I told them "A few million dollars for a single day audit? What?" the managers were dumbfounded by the idiocity, but there was not much to expect, most dudes were 18 or 19 yo, I was 21.
Eventually I just shut my mouth because so many dudes were arguing with each other and it was getting comedical - for me at least. So as usual I stopped trying to argue lmao.
Next up is what broke me: A team work and a "Game" were one manager plays a customer and you need to try to sell them something and I had to sell them a Insurance for a Telephone - and I got no clue what the hell you need an insurance for a telephone for, especially because unlike anybody else I owned a 100 € phone at that point and I did rarely use it besides youtube so I got no clue what to say, I thought about all the high priced phones and i suggested a 100€ insurance and that lol was obviously too much, but even more so the manager seemed to not be interested in me trying to sell her the insurance - I had no idea what to do, it was stupid.
Then afterwards we needed to show off how we behave in an "Online Meeting" So everyone was searching themselves a PC and then we did a online meeting, because Corona already was a thing then but it was still rather early. Anyway, I barely said anything. Also my face looks absolutely horrible in a camera - like I look really bad in a camera without a filter, so I was just sitting there.
Anyway right at the end, THEY SELECTED 3 people - and all 3 were young blonde women, despite that 18 of the 25 candidates were male for an interview and the rest gone home.
THIS is the result of ALL of this nonsense:
Vielen Dank für Ihre Teilnahme an unserer Bewerberrunde, in der wir Sie persönlich besser kennenlernen konnten.
Gerade in dieser Phase des Bewerbungsprozesses ist die Qualität der Bewerber und Bewerberinnen so hoch, dass oft nur Kleinigkeiten entscheiden.
Wir haben deshalb heute leider keine positive Rückmeldung für Sie. Für den von Ihnen gewünschten Ausbildungsplatz können wir Sie nicht mehr berücksichtigen. Eine erneute Bewerbung für eine Ausbildung/ein Duales Studium bei uns ist (unabhängig vom Standort) leider nicht möglich.
Im Anhang finden Sie das Schreiben als PDF-Dokument für Ihre Unterlagen.
Wir wünschen Ihnen für Ihre persönliche Zukunft sowie für Ihren Start ins Berufsleben alles Gute.
Translation:
Thank you for taking part in our application round, which gave us the opportunity to get to know you better personally.
Especially in this phase of the application process, the quality of the applicants is so high that often only small details make the difference.
Unfortunately, we therefore have no positive feedback for you today. We can no longer consider you for the training position you have requested. Unfortunately, it is not possible to apply again for training/dual study with us (regardless of location).
You will find the letter attached as a PDF document for your records.
We wish you all the best for your personal future and for your start into professional life.
The most disgusting thing? This sentence: "Unfortunately, it is not possible to apply again for training/dual study with us (regardless of location)." they suggest to me that I am excluded from EVER applying under my name to Targo Bank ever again, not only did they decline that I am out of the application process like the other 24 people, BUT I shall never apply to them again.
This one fucked me up legit.
I aint kidding when I say that this was the craziest, most agonizing, brutally competitive application process I have EVER had. I started by applying with my 1.4 GDP Highschool diploma and several references such as my Business English Diploma and even a suggestion from the Job Center (Because the job center women I eventually had to get me a job was annoyed that after 1 year of applying to hundreds of firms no one was taking me in) I once again wrote a personalized application and even FAKED my CV (I faked it in such a way that I only went to 2 different HS so that I had a more linear 'lifepath' - I went to 4 HS in my life, I also faked several 'internship experiences' on the CV simply so that I could have a higher chance of being taken).
They accepted my appication and I was one of 200 different candidates of 500 (!!!) applicants overall to be taken to the next step - which was once again an online personality test, the test was about 2 hours of my time and had several "How would you consider youself in XYZ" questions.
I once again beat the test and was one of 25 different people to be taken for a - no not an interview - Assessement Center. This one took a whole 10 hours. First of all we needed to prepare a Power-Point presentation about ourselves as well as our interests and a personal topic of hour choice. I did this professionally as can be, I still have it somewhere. When we met, we first introduced ourselves, there were candidates between the ages of 16 and 25 - on dude even already had a Masters Degree but for some reason "Wanted to do something else" there were in fact several people that already had a job while I did not. After that we did a IQ-Test, standarized, several questions about history and math and physics and finances etc. Then a manager explained the job that we could do to us and that we are the final 25 of 500 overall people to apply, everyone including me was dressed niceley, like a professional banker. No one, not me included was anyway Socially Anxious, everyone had hoped to be it, but eventually a few people already started to shift more into the "Interest" of the manager. The manager then questioned us personally what we know about Targo Bank and what Targo Bank makes different from other German banks, barely anyone knew much but a few persons - including me.
Then we headed off to do our presentations - it was in front of 2 women.
It was okey I guess, I did not stutter or was anxious, because ultimately Ive done that shit already a few times by now.
Afterwards most likely was the NEXT part that made it so that I was excluded from the job - we had to assemble in 2 groups and talk about a topic considering how we would "Operate a Management System at Targo Bank" - I started of with the PDCA cycle, (PDCA or plan–do–check–act is an iterative design and management method used in business for the control and continual improvement of processes and products) not many did know what that was all about, but then came a few people that like talked incredible nonsense, they tried to like make ridiculous childish suggestions and others considered "To invest a few million euros as budged for the Audition" and I told them "A few million dollars for a single day audit? What?" the managers were dumbfounded by the idiocity, but there was not much to expect, most dudes were 18 or 19 yo, I was 21.
Eventually I just shut my mouth because so many dudes were arguing with each other and it was getting comedical - for me at least. So as usual I stopped trying to argue lmao.
Next up is what broke me: A team work and a "Game" were one manager plays a customer and you need to try to sell them something and I had to sell them a Insurance for a Telephone - and I got no clue what the hell you need an insurance for a telephone for, especially because unlike anybody else I owned a 100 € phone at that point and I did rarely use it besides youtube so I got no clue what to say, I thought about all the high priced phones and i suggested a 100€ insurance and that lol was obviously too much, but even more so the manager seemed to not be interested in me trying to sell her the insurance - I had no idea what to do, it was stupid.
Then afterwards we needed to show off how we behave in an "Online Meeting" So everyone was searching themselves a PC and then we did a online meeting, because Corona already was a thing then but it was still rather early. Anyway, I barely said anything. Also my face looks absolutely horrible in a camera - like I look really bad in a camera without a filter, so I was just sitting there.
Anyway right at the end, THEY SELECTED 3 people - and all 3 were young blonde women, despite that 18 of the 25 candidates were male for an interview and the rest gone home.
THIS is the result of ALL of this nonsense:
Vielen Dank für Ihre Teilnahme an unserer Bewerberrunde, in der wir Sie persönlich besser kennenlernen konnten.
Gerade in dieser Phase des Bewerbungsprozesses ist die Qualität der Bewerber und Bewerberinnen so hoch, dass oft nur Kleinigkeiten entscheiden.
Wir haben deshalb heute leider keine positive Rückmeldung für Sie. Für den von Ihnen gewünschten Ausbildungsplatz können wir Sie nicht mehr berücksichtigen. Eine erneute Bewerbung für eine Ausbildung/ein Duales Studium bei uns ist (unabhängig vom Standort) leider nicht möglich.
Im Anhang finden Sie das Schreiben als PDF-Dokument für Ihre Unterlagen.
Wir wünschen Ihnen für Ihre persönliche Zukunft sowie für Ihren Start ins Berufsleben alles Gute.
Translation:
Thank you for taking part in our application round, which gave us the opportunity to get to know you better personally.
Especially in this phase of the application process, the quality of the applicants is so high that often only small details make the difference.
Unfortunately, we therefore have no positive feedback for you today. We can no longer consider you for the training position you have requested. Unfortunately, it is not possible to apply again for training/dual study with us (regardless of location).
You will find the letter attached as a PDF document for your records.
We wish you all the best for your personal future and for your start into professional life.
The most disgusting thing? This sentence: "Unfortunately, it is not possible to apply again for training/dual study with us (regardless of location)." they suggest to me that I am excluded from EVER applying under my name to Targo Bank ever again, not only did they decline that I am out of the application process like the other 24 people, BUT I shall never apply to them again.
This one fucked me up legit.
