So as my first post I wanted to talk about my life a little bit (I know that no one will probably care that much but I need an outlet somewhere). Also English isn't my first language so sorry.
First off, I think as a kid (ages 3 to 8) I was okay looking and probably grew into my ugliness later in life as a teenager and I have definitely noticed people gradually starting to treat me worse and worse and worse for seemingly no reason at all as I've grown up.
I first started noticing that something is wrong in my early teenage years, then discovered lookism and quickly found out that I was LTN. My nose is easily my worst flaw (huge alar base and very noticeable dorsal hump plus its crooked) I also have naturally very fat buccal pads (believe me its not because im bloated or overweight) and bad health indicators and I am also slightly recessed, eye area is fine but nothing special (I have no striking features in a good way). I am 6ft3 but I live in a country where the average height is literally 6ft so my height isn't really noticeable at all so that hasn't helped me either.
Now my most brutal Blackpill moments:
I've heard foids call me (kinda) and (very) ugly behind my back countless times and frankly I suspect that they knew I would hear them but they just didnt give a shit because they saw me as a subhuman. A foid called me weird and laughed at me for no reason, I had never even spoken to her before that and barely ever seen her.
I have no friends and the few I had were fake and just used me for money and also bullied me ruthlessly, I only kept going out with them because I really needed to cope, I have stopped now.
There have been many, many more times like those that I wont even bother getting into and all that led me to lose all motivation and hope for life and start drinking.
I am currently NEET and live with my parents, they frequently tell me how much they hate me and want to kick me out of the house. And believe me Ive tried turning my life around (Ive been to a therapist multiple times and prescribed antidepressants but they have never really helped at all).
So right now I just play OSRS all day, watch anime, beat my dick and drink and pop xans. I'm not trolling when I say this, I have plans to end it after maxing out my UIM account on OSRS because thats my one and only distraction from the cruel reality and theres really no point to keep going at that point.
First off, I think as a kid (ages 3 to 8) I was okay looking and probably grew into my ugliness later in life as a teenager and I have definitely noticed people gradually starting to treat me worse and worse and worse for seemingly no reason at all as I've grown up.
I first started noticing that something is wrong in my early teenage years, then discovered lookism and quickly found out that I was LTN. My nose is easily my worst flaw (huge alar base and very noticeable dorsal hump plus its crooked) I also have naturally very fat buccal pads (believe me its not because im bloated or overweight) and bad health indicators and I am also slightly recessed, eye area is fine but nothing special (I have no striking features in a good way). I am 6ft3 but I live in a country where the average height is literally 6ft so my height isn't really noticeable at all so that hasn't helped me either.
Now my most brutal Blackpill moments:
I've heard foids call me (kinda) and (very) ugly behind my back countless times and frankly I suspect that they knew I would hear them but they just didnt give a shit because they saw me as a subhuman. A foid called me weird and laughed at me for no reason, I had never even spoken to her before that and barely ever seen her.
I have no friends and the few I had were fake and just used me for money and also bullied me ruthlessly, I only kept going out with them because I really needed to cope, I have stopped now.
There have been many, many more times like those that I wont even bother getting into and all that led me to lose all motivation and hope for life and start drinking.
I am currently NEET and live with my parents, they frequently tell me how much they hate me and want to kick me out of the house. And believe me Ive tried turning my life around (Ive been to a therapist multiple times and prescribed antidepressants but they have never really helped at all).
So right now I just play OSRS all day, watch anime, beat my dick and drink and pop xans. I'm not trolling when I say this, I have plans to end it after maxing out my UIM account on OSRS because thats my one and only distraction from the cruel reality and theres really no point to keep going at that point.
