G
What is going on with me lately. Much, much more than I can describe myself in words.
As a child I already had a specific aversion to certain people and then women in particular. In my experience, women are despicable psychopaths who do everything they can to get the blood under my nails.
Only thinking and getting ideas in which category I should fit according to these miscreants. I often have the idea that I am pointed out by them as an underprivileged criminal who lives along the gutter and is the drain of society.
Often women and men of the political progressives think they are superior to me. It eats me up inside how often I have been ridiculed and then especially by women who think I am a pathetic loser at first glance.
Previously I have indicated that I can live perfectly well without the monstrosity "human being" but unfortunately because of my autism I cannot avoid constantly confronting the facts. Perhaps there is a causality between my attitude and my ugly face because I come from a disadvantaged background?
But deep down I know that this reality with its deep wounds must not be good. I am more than fed up with this act of spit and spit.
Life with this body is bleak and enrage-inducing. I detest every fiber in this ugly thing that has completely turned my life upside down. I have never felt as miserable as in recent years because I experience constant currents of anger because I am never left alone by the outside world.
Everyone calls me an ugly boy or wretch, fool, and poorly educated proletariat because I am unfortunately written and doomed to fail. Everything these words contain echoes an ugly old dry bloody tree with rotten stench rectum flowers.
1. I feel a less fortunate climate flowing through my fibers.
I come from a nest where there was constant smoking in the house and the car.
Often cheap things were eaten, especially that food from jars.
The special and worthless education that I received.
And in the house: Surrounded by cat pee and cat shit.
Sanded and drawn wallpaper. A mix of enormous bustle and poor foster children, aunt and followers that my mother took in.
Narcissistic guys that my mother attracted, who didn't like me either.
All this marked A crazy foolish apocalypse of bustle, penetrated by deep perfume smells and women's cackling.
2. My drawn body in puberty that gnaws.
Well, everything that goes with a melancholy that I took with me to school. Bullying brats and shouting idiots who wanted to fester and tyrannize me.
3. The miserable follies that I owe to this environment.
Low-educated, melancholy, anxious, constant experiences of anger and sadness and the crazy longing for the small easy life in a haze of melancholy!
4. Undeveloped ability to perform at a good socially acceptable level also thanks to the guilt that I am surrounded by lifeless bots that look like people but do not appear to have a speck of consciousness/self-awareness and inner life.
Especially this last part festers with me. Why do I have this body and do I experience a constant living experience of consciousness in a world that works against my principle. Because everyone in it is simple and never recognizes depth!
That is why this life with this body has become painful, because what do I have from it. I would love to switch my mind to an AI artificial intelligence to live in a fantastic world there!
My mind has become superhumanly better and transformed into a form of which I can now be sure that there is a better world or at least a better future in the offing without human suffering.
Look, I can tolerate pain but mental unrest, because women in particular see me as less fortunate, I simply cannot tolerate anymore because it evokes that very old pain.
That is why I abhor women. They are the ones who constantly maintain the old pain!
As a child I already had a specific aversion to certain people and then women in particular. In my experience, women are despicable psychopaths who do everything they can to get the blood under my nails.
Only thinking and getting ideas in which category I should fit according to these miscreants. I often have the idea that I am pointed out by them as an underprivileged criminal who lives along the gutter and is the drain of society.
Often women and men of the political progressives think they are superior to me. It eats me up inside how often I have been ridiculed and then especially by women who think I am a pathetic loser at first glance.
Previously I have indicated that I can live perfectly well without the monstrosity "human being" but unfortunately because of my autism I cannot avoid constantly confronting the facts. Perhaps there is a causality between my attitude and my ugly face because I come from a disadvantaged background?
But deep down I know that this reality with its deep wounds must not be good. I am more than fed up with this act of spit and spit.
Life with this body is bleak and enrage-inducing. I detest every fiber in this ugly thing that has completely turned my life upside down. I have never felt as miserable as in recent years because I experience constant currents of anger because I am never left alone by the outside world.
Everyone calls me an ugly boy or wretch, fool, and poorly educated proletariat because I am unfortunately written and doomed to fail. Everything these words contain echoes an ugly old dry bloody tree with rotten stench rectum flowers.
1. I feel a less fortunate climate flowing through my fibers.
I come from a nest where there was constant smoking in the house and the car.
Often cheap things were eaten, especially that food from jars.
The special and worthless education that I received.
And in the house: Surrounded by cat pee and cat shit.
Sanded and drawn wallpaper. A mix of enormous bustle and poor foster children, aunt and followers that my mother took in.
Narcissistic guys that my mother attracted, who didn't like me either.
All this marked A crazy foolish apocalypse of bustle, penetrated by deep perfume smells and women's cackling.
2. My drawn body in puberty that gnaws.
Well, everything that goes with a melancholy that I took with me to school. Bullying brats and shouting idiots who wanted to fester and tyrannize me.
3. The miserable follies that I owe to this environment.
Low-educated, melancholy, anxious, constant experiences of anger and sadness and the crazy longing for the small easy life in a haze of melancholy!
4. Undeveloped ability to perform at a good socially acceptable level also thanks to the guilt that I am surrounded by lifeless bots that look like people but do not appear to have a speck of consciousness/self-awareness and inner life.
Especially this last part festers with me. Why do I have this body and do I experience a constant living experience of consciousness in a world that works against my principle. Because everyone in it is simple and never recognizes depth!
That is why this life with this body has become painful, because what do I have from it. I would love to switch my mind to an AI artificial intelligence to live in a fantastic world there!
My mind has become superhumanly better and transformed into a form of which I can now be sure that there is a better world or at least a better future in the offing without human suffering.
Look, I can tolerate pain but mental unrest, because women in particular see me as less fortunate, I simply cannot tolerate anymore because it evokes that very old pain.
That is why I abhor women. They are the ones who constantly maintain the old pain!
