After highschool i traveled to the Philippines with my cousin for uni and temporarily crashed at 2bdr house with one room occupied by a family friend so i had no choice but to share the other room with my cousin, mind you i was very pure and blue-pilled at the time..
In the first few days the guy hosting us invited 2 girls to the house and me whom never interacted with women in my life outside of family i was very nervous and excited fast forward that night the host took 1 foid and left me and my cousin with the other foid, thinking back at it this was the closest example on surviving of the fittest type of competition and you can guess by now who won the foid...
Yes, it was my cousin and he actually fucked right next to me in the room now this is technically cucking but the setting was complicated nevertheless we were all drunk and she was laying in bed between me and my cousin before she chose him, now why him not me and what were the metrics of which she judged he was the the valid option you ask well at the time i was clueless..
In the morning the host found out who the foid has slept with, obviously u can tell he knew about all this untold competition but i don't blame him he was actually a good wingman somehow, given he invited the foids and fixed the ground for us newbies to the game and may the best win aka the best looking guy!
After this incedeint something inside me changed and scared my soul forever i was awaken by force i was emasculated by that on a subconscious level so as a result of that i shut down in my room for a week this was the actual event that paved the way to my blackpill awakening but i just couldn't put a name to it and in few weeks i was back in my " blue-pilled" world. and to no surprise time was the ultimate equalizer because years after that i came to face the brutal fact all life is simply just genetic determination.
I wish i never traveled because now after years of bad experience after another my life has no meaning my degree has no value i have no drive I'm undesired, unwanted.
In the end i can't accept my past and the trauma comes with it and i don't have the will to move forward so am just coping my pain away fading in the background till one day im faced with the certain death where none of this matters..
In the first few days the guy hosting us invited 2 girls to the house and me whom never interacted with women in my life outside of family i was very nervous and excited fast forward that night the host took 1 foid and left me and my cousin with the other foid, thinking back at it this was the closest example on surviving of the fittest type of competition and you can guess by now who won the foid...
Yes, it was my cousin and he actually fucked right next to me in the room now this is technically cucking but the setting was complicated nevertheless we were all drunk and she was laying in bed between me and my cousin before she chose him, now why him not me and what were the metrics of which she judged he was the the valid option you ask well at the time i was clueless..
In the morning the host found out who the foid has slept with, obviously u can tell he knew about all this untold competition but i don't blame him he was actually a good wingman somehow, given he invited the foids and fixed the ground for us newbies to the game and may the best win aka the best looking guy!
After this incedeint something inside me changed and scared my soul forever i was awaken by force i was emasculated by that on a subconscious level so as a result of that i shut down in my room for a week this was the actual event that paved the way to my blackpill awakening but i just couldn't put a name to it and in few weeks i was back in my " blue-pilled" world. and to no surprise time was the ultimate equalizer because years after that i came to face the brutal fact all life is simply just genetic determination.
I wish i never traveled because now after years of bad experience after another my life has no meaning my degree has no value i have no drive I'm undesired, unwanted.
In the end i can't accept my past and the trauma comes with it and i don't have the will to move forward so am just coping my pain away fading in the background till one day im faced with the certain death where none of this matters..
