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I grew up in a household where my father has always been physically and emotionally abusive toward me. Since I was very young, he would beat me harshly for small mistakes, insult me in front of extended family, and show no interest in guiding or teaching me. At the same time, he acted polite and professional in public—he’s well-educated, and others see him as respectable. But behind closed doors, he’s a completely different person.
From childhood onward, he never defended me against my younger sibling. If my sibling wanted my belongings, my father forced me to hand them over. If my sibling cursed or attacked me, he looked the other way. But if I ever stood up for myself, I was punished. His excuse was always, “You’re older, so you should understand better,” which turned what should have been an advantage (being older) into a reason for me to accept unfair treatment.
This created a deep hatred between me and my sibling. When my father was out, I’d lash out at them; when he returned, he’d side with my sibling and punish me. That pattern continued for years. Meanwhile, my father humiliated me in front of relatives, calling me insulting names and painting me as the problem child
Transition to Financial Manipulation
As an adult, the abuse shifted to financial manipulation and emotional control: • My father owns two apartments. He let my younger sibling live in one rent-free, even though they earn more than I do. • I have to rent elsewhere, which is expensive. • To make it look “fair,” my father insisted my sibling pay half my rent, but the first time they did, they underpaid. I had to chase them down for the rest, which felt humiliating—more like a power play than genuine support.
My father is now in his seventies and laying the groundwork to cut me out of any inheritance. He tells relatives I’m a “bad son” or “ungrateful,” twisting events to make me look like the cause of all problems. For example, if he hurts himself or gets angry, he might tell people it happened because of me.
He also uses religion and cultural norms to guilt me. If I protest or demand fairness, I’m labeled disrespectful, going against my father. Meanwhile, my siblings can openly curse him, and he tolerates it.
Here’s how I feel stuck: 1. If I comply with everything, I’m constantly disrespected and risk getting nothing later. 2. If I push back, I’m painted as an ungrateful child, and any financial help might be withdrawn. 3. I haven’t been explicitly threatened with disownment, but it’s implied that if I don’t “fall in line,” I could be cut off—financially and socially. 4. My mother was also abused and belittled, so she can’t really defend me.
This has left me with low self-esteem and a sense of powerlessness. The abuse changed forms over time—physical, emotional, and now financial—but it’s never really ended. I’m worried about my financial stability, mental health, and what will happen with my father’s estate.
Any advice or thoughts on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I’m stuck between two terrible choices—stay compliant and endure it, or stand up for myself and risk losing everything.
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should i just kill myself?
is there a way to fight back and actually win or its a lost cause?
The game is rigged, i either stay and get screwd over or leave and deal with the consequences of leaving.. in arabic culture an individual without a family would get fucked easier by society
From childhood onward, he never defended me against my younger sibling. If my sibling wanted my belongings, my father forced me to hand them over. If my sibling cursed or attacked me, he looked the other way. But if I ever stood up for myself, I was punished. His excuse was always, “You’re older, so you should understand better,” which turned what should have been an advantage (being older) into a reason for me to accept unfair treatment.
This created a deep hatred between me and my sibling. When my father was out, I’d lash out at them; when he returned, he’d side with my sibling and punish me. That pattern continued for years. Meanwhile, my father humiliated me in front of relatives, calling me insulting names and painting me as the problem child
Transition to Financial Manipulation
As an adult, the abuse shifted to financial manipulation and emotional control: • My father owns two apartments. He let my younger sibling live in one rent-free, even though they earn more than I do. • I have to rent elsewhere, which is expensive. • To make it look “fair,” my father insisted my sibling pay half my rent, but the first time they did, they underpaid. I had to chase them down for the rest, which felt humiliating—more like a power play than genuine support.
My father is now in his seventies and laying the groundwork to cut me out of any inheritance. He tells relatives I’m a “bad son” or “ungrateful,” twisting events to make me look like the cause of all problems. For example, if he hurts himself or gets angry, he might tell people it happened because of me.
He also uses religion and cultural norms to guilt me. If I protest or demand fairness, I’m labeled disrespectful, going against my father. Meanwhile, my siblings can openly curse him, and he tolerates it.
Here’s how I feel stuck: 1. If I comply with everything, I’m constantly disrespected and risk getting nothing later. 2. If I push back, I’m painted as an ungrateful child, and any financial help might be withdrawn. 3. I haven’t been explicitly threatened with disownment, but it’s implied that if I don’t “fall in line,” I could be cut off—financially and socially. 4. My mother was also abused and belittled, so she can’t really defend me.
This has left me with low self-esteem and a sense of powerlessness. The abuse changed forms over time—physical, emotional, and now financial—but it’s never really ended. I’m worried about my financial stability, mental health, and what will happen with my father’s estate.
Any advice or thoughts on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I’m stuck between two terrible choices—stay compliant and endure it, or stand up for myself and risk losing everything.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
should i just kill myself?
is there a way to fight back and actually win or its a lost cause?
The game is rigged, i either stay and get screwd over or leave and deal with the consequences of leaving.. in arabic culture an individual without a family would get fucked easier by society
