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Story My awful mall adventure

La Grande Infamie

La Grande Infamie

Don't be a stuffhead
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Joined
Mar 3, 2024
Posts
2,490
>be me
>have barely gone outside in my life
>grandma is getting her nails done and decides to let me adventure around the strip mall
>begin walking down one of two concrete paths
>not a stripper in sight
>wut.rar
>whatever, I probably got it mixed up
>there isn’t a single half-interesting store here
>am I in the backrooms or something
>the first path has nothing, the second path…
>enter a store that actually seems somewhat interesting
>holy fuck
>this is a republican foid epicenter
>there are pink punisher blue line hoodies, im not even kidding. This is bad. The next room over looks like something out of Laura southern’s Pinterest page
>get the fuck out of there because I’m not a post-menopausal trump supporter
>the next store is like a working clothes store, im into it
>everything is super expensive, I have like ten bucks on me so I can’t buy jack shit
>fuck.mp4
>get out of there
>enter an actual board game store thinking it’ll be like a gamestop
>what the fuck is a Camel-Up
>audibly mutter that if I stay here any longer I’ll be shot as I scramble for the door

Story will continue
 
>walk into a hot topic lookin store
>first thing that I see is WhistlinDiesel merch, that’s a good sign
>second thing I see is the hot goth foid working the counter
>third thing that I see is a giant fag flag hanging from the roof
>fag flag
>hanging from ceiling
>even the flags hang themselves
>kek to myself as I peruse the store, everything is emo as balls
>refrain from buying anything as it’s all super expensive and 18 is a terrible time for an emo phase
>the stoner-looking worker that isn’t a foid tries to shill hoodies to me
>hoodies
>when it feels a hundred outside
>refrain from strangling the stoner and leave soon after
>march across the parking lot toward a nearby Starbucks for the Elliot Rodger Special, a Triple Vanilla Latte
>stand in front of the drive-thru for a solid minute, waiting for the intercom to come on
>some foid in a Ferrari is watching me, I think she took a picture
>ask her if I can order from the drive-thru on foot, dumb bitch doesn’t know
>I just walk inside

There’s more
 
>walk inside, everyone is on an apple laptop of some kind, some I can visually tell are faggots, piercings and whatnot
>go up to front desk, order small iced triple vanilla latte
>its 8 fucking dollars, and the absurdity of this doesn’t hit me until later, in the moment, I just want something to fucking drink
>walk outside, sip coffee
>its terrible
>I taste no vanilla, no latte, just fucking coffee beans
>throw out coffee, realize I am too broke to buy anything else from a vending machine
>we went home soon after

Fuck going outside
 

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