Birthday
just be 26 bro
every problem of the world will be fixed if u 26...
so yeah another step closer to grave. dont feel any joy tbh. couldve done much more as a 25 year old, just found a wagecuck job as a translator and wrote my proposal/thesis. these past few months i been ldarmaxxing/coommaxing tho, going to work once a week and not doing the actual research im supposed to do. procrastinatorcel..ive lost my willpower but gotta take t back somehow or just rope out.
i still have not ascended, naturally, "its over" being confirmed for another year n, well, it will never expire anyway. (just escortmaxx: = just be god theory)
i do feel old a bit but im kind of a manchild in the face (baby face cel = low T due to coommaxing i believe) and no real experience except in shitteries of life. hope sth new happens this year (god be like sending a "new" misery)
thesis shit
i gotta approach normies/sexhavers and ask them to participate in my study. i gotta pay them too.. jfl..just pay normies theory but i got no other choice...sons of bitches wont participate for free i guess.....i gotta go up to them say like "hi. will u participate in a study? two sessions, each taking 30-40 mins, each session youll get 100,000 Toman (2 dollars...its enough for em in my country)" this gone be so awkward ngl, specially if never approached anyone before and youre anxious due to being touchless. i have to turn my normie mode on....i am satan for gods sake, i can take any shape i want, from a snake to a normie. just NPCmaxx theory is law. i hope to get through the shit and get my degree and leave the country. this is my goal now
music
so these days i been fixed on this old persian pop song (used to be a banger played at weddings here)...the lyrics may sound cringe/ lovey dovey shit but, as an autist, i been listening to it non stop. the translation will be below it if interested. hope u enjoy it
(from genuinely enjoying death/black metal songs, to reversing and reverbing (making it sound like a demon singing = changing the pitch) russian post punk songs to this song here = spectrum of autistic taste in music)
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEtpZwY6vC0
(bunch of normies)
Translation: (me singing to Satan the Great)
oh my heart yearns you (repeated)
first verse
the house is drowned in silence
my body yearns your smell/perfume, [I am] without you
my imagination/ fantasy is wet, a dew lies on the flower of my memory of your eye
you dont know how difficult it is, you dont know how difficult is your not being [here]
my heart will die without you, and i am crazy about your admirable/cute being
chorus
oh my heart, oh my heart yearns you my dear, la la la lay
i dont want to see the world without you, la la la lay
(2 times)
second verse
German stuff
chorus repeated
third verse
you are the sunniest, you are the watchable (you are an eye candy), you are the wave of sea
your absence is breath-taking, how your smell/perfume is missed here!
my heart yearns you, the same way it yearns crying in the rain
the same way it yearns a song of sorrow for a broken and distressed heart
Chorus repeated
just be 26 bro
every problem of the world will be fixed if u 26...so yeah another step closer to grave. dont feel any joy tbh. couldve done much more as a 25 year old, just found a wagecuck job as a translator and wrote my proposal/thesis. these past few months i been ldarmaxxing/coommaxing tho, going to work once a week and not doing the actual research im supposed to do. procrastinatorcel..ive lost my willpower but gotta take t back somehow or just rope out.
i still have not ascended, naturally, "its over" being confirmed for another year n, well, it will never expire anyway. (just escortmaxx
: = just be god theory)i do feel old a bit but im kind of a manchild in the face (baby face cel = low T due to coommaxing i believe) and no real experience except in shitteries of life. hope sth new happens this year (god be like sending a "new" misery)
thesis shit
i gotta approach normies/sexhavers and ask them to participate in my study. i gotta pay them too.. jfl..just pay normies theory but i got no other choice...sons of bitches wont participate for free i guess.....i gotta go up to them say like "hi. will u participate in a study? two sessions, each taking 30-40 mins, each session youll get 100,000 Toman (2 dollars...its enough for em in my country)" this gone be so awkward ngl, specially if never approached anyone before and youre anxious due to being touchless. i have to turn my normie mode on....i am satan for gods sake, i can take any shape i want, from a snake to a normie. just NPCmaxx theory is law. i hope to get through the shit and get my degree and leave the country. this is my goal now
music
so these days i been fixed on this old persian pop song (used to be a banger played at weddings here)...the lyrics may sound cringe/ lovey dovey shit but, as an autist, i been listening to it non stop. the translation will be below it if interested. hope u enjoy it
(from genuinely enjoying death/black metal songs, to reversing and reverbing (making it sound like a demon singing = changing the pitch) russian post punk songs to this song here = spectrum of autistic taste in music)
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEtpZwY6vC0
(bunch of normies
)Translation: (me singing to Satan the Great)
oh my heart yearns you (repeated)
first verse
the house is drowned in silence
my body yearns your smell/perfume, [I am] without you
my imagination/ fantasy is wet, a dew lies on the flower of my memory of your eye
you dont know how difficult it is, you dont know how difficult is your not being [here]
my heart will die without you, and i am crazy about your admirable/cute being
chorus
oh my heart, oh my heart yearns you my dear, la la la lay
i dont want to see the world without you, la la la lay
(2 times)
second verse
German stuff
chorus repeated
third verse
you are the sunniest, you are the watchable (you are an eye candy), you are the wave of sea
your absence is breath-taking, how your smell/perfume is missed here!
my heart yearns you, the same way it yearns crying in the rain
the same way it yearns a song of sorrow for a broken and distressed heart
Chorus repeated
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