I want to preface this by saying that I too am a mess. I am a 43 year old woman who doesn't know what I want to be when I grow up, I have no direction, I am lost, I am frustrated and I'm just getting through the day, day by day. That being said, when I am asked why I am not dating, the simple answer is because I AM A MESS. I do not have the time for another person, I do not have the space, physically or mentally, and I do not have the emotional bandwidth to support another person.
HOWEVER, a great guy friend of mine is always trying to date, or maybe be in a relationship. He's always droning on about wanting something with someone (it's always a specific someone, never just an ambiguous someone), but he can't make up his mind what he wants. He wants sex, maybe a relationship, but maybe not, very wishy washy. And he's a mess. He's moved out of province, does not currently have a job, doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, maybe he wants to buy land, maybe he wants to sail the seven seas, he has no idea.
Yet, he sees no problem entering a relationship (of any sort) with someone. Why is it acceptable to go out, try to date or seek something maybe romantic, with all this messiness? I wouldn't want a confused person who doesn't know what they want, in life in general, or in a relationship. It feels like presenting yourself for an interview wearing sweats that are stained, your hair hasn't been washed and you have food in your teeth. It feels like work - like the person who ends up in a relationship with this person is going to have to do work to help them find a path, make friends, make decisions, etc.
I know everyone deserves love, and I hope that he finds what he's looking for, I'm just frustrated on behalf of the women out there who are dating and might find this on their travels.
