So here I was, trying to mind my own business in the astral plane. I was traveling outside in the wilderness on the edge of a small town, but as I drew closer, I felt the walls closing in. An old associate I knew from college (not really a friend, but someone I had talked to more on more than one occasion) appeared at the end of the hallway of an inside-out house in the town and beckoned me inside (outside?). So I quickly ran into the hallway, found myself in the house. The interior was cleaned and decorated, with sheets on the sofa chairs to prevent dust from getting into the furniture, implying the people living there were away on a long vacation. My associate was busy doing paper work for his career job, so in order to keep me busy he let me use the old family computer. It was a Mac running Mac OS 9, and I remember exclaiming "wow, this must be 25 years old" but he downplayed it and said "no, it's from 2008 or so". Which was weird, because I knew the last release was in 2000 or 2001. Anyway, the exterior of the computer was in top condition, unmarred by the years that had supposedly past before it relegating it to its long forgotten legacy, as if it was brand new right out of the box.
NTs always say you can't read in dreams, but I've never had a problem reading, writing, doing mathematics, using complex machines or coding software in my dreams. So here I was navigating around in the desktop on this computer in the living room, looking at what applications were installed. I have only used Mac OS 9 a handful of times at the computer lab at my old high school. Eventually, I opened up Netscape Navigator and was browsing the web, while my associate was out of sight around the corner at a desk. I was looking at my old emails from college and an old retro website from the 90s loaded with programming tutorials. Then the associate showed up behind my back and asked what I was looking at. I turned back to the computer and tried to hide what was on my page and command-tabbed into a different browser with anime and hentai pictures plastered all over it even though I hadn't loaded it up and I instantly felt embarrassed, exposed. I never opened! Why was that suddenly on the screen! Then I looked down at myself, and I was filthy. I hadn't showered in days and I was in my long underwear without a shirt on and smelled like dried jizz. I wanted to run and get out of there. But there was no exit. Then this associate pretended there was nothing amiss, but I knew that he knew that everything I was experiencing was real and true.
Then his mother and siblings showed up, returning from their daily activities. His mother, in particular, was extremely annoyed at my presence and she looked at my associate using her eyes to say "what is this freak doing here." But she said nothing. I quickly command-tabbed back to the programming site on the computer and tried to pretend I was just reading important stuff. I had to make sure not to command-tab back to the anime site or I would be in trouble. I should have closed it, but was unable to do so. Anyway, I kept using the computer, feeling out of place. His younger siblings tried to talk to me. I can't remember about what since I was in a panic, my flight response was in high gear.
Eventually, the mother called from the kitchen shouting "dinner is ready!" in a shrill voice. And so we all went to the dinner table. The adults were all at one end of the table, the siblings and my associate in the middle, and I was at the other end. The father had one of his buddies with him. They passed down a bowel of vegetables and I loaded up my plate. Then father beckoned me down to get some of the main course, giving me a stern look. I was still filthy and in my underwear, and I wished I was anywhere else. But my wish went unanswered. I couldn't quite see what kind of meat was available, there was a bright light in my eye. I asked "is that turkey?" And they all scoffed and looked at each other, like I had insulted them. The father then told me, "no, it's deer." I realized that the father's friend was his hunting buddy and they had just got back from a hunting trip.
Trying to allay the awkward situation I was in, I then said "oh, I like deer, I used to go hunting with my dad all of the time, he would take my on hunting trips and we would hunt deer." It was a complete lie. I had never hunted deer before. I realized I was in deep trouble. Why did I say that? But my associate's father seemed intrigued, "Oh really? Where are you from?" he asked. And I told him where I had grown up as a child. He seemed deeply overcome with nostalgic emotion, like he had known the area I had described. He then said "Well then, I guess I should carve you up some deer" and he took the plate of venison roast and returned with a large take-out box of venison. "Here, this is for you." I shook his hand and he had tears in his eye. The mother looked on disapprovingly. I took the gift and returned to my seat, feeling a little more at ease, but could sense I was walking on glass, in a fragile situation. I still needed to get out of there somehow. As I walked back to my end of the table, I found that I was no longer in the dining room, but in the laundry room and my chair was in front of the washing machine.
So I put my plate and food box down and tried to enjoy my meal. But then a group of faceless people showed up to crash the party. I thought they were probably looking for me and I needed to get out of there. But there was no where to go. I decided I would just keep up appearances and hope they wouldn't discover me. They were overturning everything in the laundry room, looking inside the dryer and started to take it apart, removing the outer paneling, thinking I was hiding inside of it. One of them bumped into me and I shouted "I'm trying to enjoy my meal, what the hell! Leave me alone!" They stopped what they were doing and slowly moved in around me, with their backs to me.
Then they all turned to look at me and one of them said "got you now!" I knew they wanted to torture me, to do unspeakable things to me for the crime of existing, for being an incel loser. They hated me. But also was given an insight in that very moment that they had put me in that unfortunate situation, they had rigged it all from the very beginning. They had ensured that I would become an incel, they made go unshowered, unclean, wearing underwear. They had planted the embarrassing anime and hentai on the computer in order to frame me. Everything wrong in my life, they had conspired to do it. The mother was among them. It was all them! They had made me ugly. They had destroyed any chance I had at a happy life. They were doing it to feed their own egos, to feast on my energy.
As they rushed at me with knives and hatchets drawn, about to hack me into bits, I was jolted awake. I had finally escaped. First thing I did after waking up was go shave and shower. I didn't want to be a filthy incel. What was that nightmare all about? Why do I always find myself in unfortunate situations? Why have these entities done this to me? I never asked for this life, to be born ugly. Why?
My mind is still reeling and I feel unsettled. What now?
NTs always say you can't read in dreams, but I've never had a problem reading, writing, doing mathematics, using complex machines or coding software in my dreams. So here I was navigating around in the desktop on this computer in the living room, looking at what applications were installed. I have only used Mac OS 9 a handful of times at the computer lab at my old high school. Eventually, I opened up Netscape Navigator and was browsing the web, while my associate was out of sight around the corner at a desk. I was looking at my old emails from college and an old retro website from the 90s loaded with programming tutorials. Then the associate showed up behind my back and asked what I was looking at. I turned back to the computer and tried to hide what was on my page and command-tabbed into a different browser with anime and hentai pictures plastered all over it even though I hadn't loaded it up and I instantly felt embarrassed, exposed. I never opened! Why was that suddenly on the screen! Then I looked down at myself, and I was filthy. I hadn't showered in days and I was in my long underwear without a shirt on and smelled like dried jizz. I wanted to run and get out of there. But there was no exit. Then this associate pretended there was nothing amiss, but I knew that he knew that everything I was experiencing was real and true.
Then his mother and siblings showed up, returning from their daily activities. His mother, in particular, was extremely annoyed at my presence and she looked at my associate using her eyes to say "what is this freak doing here." But she said nothing. I quickly command-tabbed back to the programming site on the computer and tried to pretend I was just reading important stuff. I had to make sure not to command-tab back to the anime site or I would be in trouble. I should have closed it, but was unable to do so. Anyway, I kept using the computer, feeling out of place. His younger siblings tried to talk to me. I can't remember about what since I was in a panic, my flight response was in high gear.
Eventually, the mother called from the kitchen shouting "dinner is ready!" in a shrill voice. And so we all went to the dinner table. The adults were all at one end of the table, the siblings and my associate in the middle, and I was at the other end. The father had one of his buddies with him. They passed down a bowel of vegetables and I loaded up my plate. Then father beckoned me down to get some of the main course, giving me a stern look. I was still filthy and in my underwear, and I wished I was anywhere else. But my wish went unanswered. I couldn't quite see what kind of meat was available, there was a bright light in my eye. I asked "is that turkey?" And they all scoffed and looked at each other, like I had insulted them. The father then told me, "no, it's deer." I realized that the father's friend was his hunting buddy and they had just got back from a hunting trip.
Trying to allay the awkward situation I was in, I then said "oh, I like deer, I used to go hunting with my dad all of the time, he would take my on hunting trips and we would hunt deer." It was a complete lie. I had never hunted deer before. I realized I was in deep trouble. Why did I say that? But my associate's father seemed intrigued, "Oh really? Where are you from?" he asked. And I told him where I had grown up as a child. He seemed deeply overcome with nostalgic emotion, like he had known the area I had described. He then said "Well then, I guess I should carve you up some deer" and he took the plate of venison roast and returned with a large take-out box of venison. "Here, this is for you." I shook his hand and he had tears in his eye. The mother looked on disapprovingly. I took the gift and returned to my seat, feeling a little more at ease, but could sense I was walking on glass, in a fragile situation. I still needed to get out of there somehow. As I walked back to my end of the table, I found that I was no longer in the dining room, but in the laundry room and my chair was in front of the washing machine.
So I put my plate and food box down and tried to enjoy my meal. But then a group of faceless people showed up to crash the party. I thought they were probably looking for me and I needed to get out of there. But there was no where to go. I decided I would just keep up appearances and hope they wouldn't discover me. They were overturning everything in the laundry room, looking inside the dryer and started to take it apart, removing the outer paneling, thinking I was hiding inside of it. One of them bumped into me and I shouted "I'm trying to enjoy my meal, what the hell! Leave me alone!" They stopped what they were doing and slowly moved in around me, with their backs to me.
Then they all turned to look at me and one of them said "got you now!" I knew they wanted to torture me, to do unspeakable things to me for the crime of existing, for being an incel loser. They hated me. But also was given an insight in that very moment that they had put me in that unfortunate situation, they had rigged it all from the very beginning. They had ensured that I would become an incel, they made go unshowered, unclean, wearing underwear. They had planted the embarrassing anime and hentai on the computer in order to frame me. Everything wrong in my life, they had conspired to do it. The mother was among them. It was all them! They had made me ugly. They had destroyed any chance I had at a happy life. They were doing it to feed their own egos, to feast on my energy.
As they rushed at me with knives and hatchets drawn, about to hack me into bits, I was jolted awake. I had finally escaped. First thing I did after waking up was go shave and shower. I didn't want to be a filthy incel. What was that nightmare all about? Why do I always find myself in unfortunate situations? Why have these entities done this to me? I never asked for this life, to be born ugly. Why?
My mind is still reeling and I feel unsettled. What now?
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