SuicideFuel Memories of a distant past

[mentally lost cel 1]

I was actually pedo material when I was younger like 12-13-14 even maybe 15 cuz probably I was taller than my counterparts

now I’m gonna write some things I have lived

First thing that was I went to a summer school in Europe and there was this redhead cute teacher , she found me in the food hall and she intentionally lowered her head that I can see her tits and said that “you’re really good in my class” ,I said thank you then she went away , it felt good

Then next year somehow female teachers were much into me for whatever reason??, some were sitting cross legged on my table and were squeezing my cheeks , teasing me and shit, they would start chatting me on hallways and some even wanted to kiss me ,I said no lol

Then it was next year which was the best Chad year of me ,females were laughing and smiling whatever I say and said how cute I am , some cute girls were taking secret pictures of me (I knew and it felt good,I let them), even My classmates said thatthat most foid teachers wanted to fuck me even the hot ones, it was so funny that I went to a Stacy lite principal office then she started courting and smiling at my random sayings, Becky teachers also courted me in the hallways

next year again Random cashier girl told my mother that “her son is so handsome” , and random woman started chatting with me and sitting next to me while there were other empty seats in public transport ,I even remember one good looking middle aged woman flirted with me to oblivion then I cummed in my pants


It was good but the main mistake was not being nt and a piece of shit normie,I was a good person and I’ll keep on being a good man

when puberty hit in like 15 , second puberty or whatever I turned from a high normie to a truecel and it become worse in the process, I’m now the most ugliest motherfucker here everywhere Igo I get bullied harassed ostracized and made fun of

Maybe I was just thinking those stuff tho, it might be normal maybe I’m delusional , it just interpreted like that in my head

 

[Incelius Savage]

Sa

 

[Incelius Savage]

I even remember one good looking middle aged woman flirted with me to oblivion then I cummed in my pants

It was good but the main mistake was not being nt and a piece of shit normie,I was a good person and I’ll

Same. Same man

 

[Defeated Lobster]

So when puberty hit you, it all ended in the blink of an eye. I feel you. It was over for me once I got to Junior High.

 

[Deleted member 21770]

brootal

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

So when puberty hit you, it all ended in the blink of an eye. I feel you. It was over for me once I got to Junior High.

Yeah same , maybe it was over from the beginning my interpretations may be writing in a way ,I thought I was Chad

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

Sa

What is sa

 

[Incelius Savage]

What is sa

Comment lock. But sexual assault is what sa means.

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

Comment lock. But sexual assault is what sa means.

that happens when

 

[Leorio]

You are just a failed normie. You were never an incel.

Incel trait is that your primary and middle school were hell.

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

You are just a failed normie. You were never an incel.

Incel trait is that your primary and middle school were hell.

My high school was hell, failed normie is incel there’s no failed normie

 

[Leorio]

My high school was hell, failed normie is incel there’s no failed normie

Because you couldn't complete with chads. There were no chads in your middle and primary schools.

There is a failed normie and it is you

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

Because you couldn't complete with chads. There were no chads in your middle and primary schools.

There is a failed normie and it is you

It is nothing better than incel

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Then it was next year which was the best Chad year of me ,females were laughing and smiling whatever I say and said how cute I am , some cute girls were taking secret pictures of me (I knew and it felt good,I let them), even My classmates said thatthat most foid teachers wanted to fuck me even the hot ones, it was so funny that I went to a Stacy lite principal office then she started courting and smiling at my random sayings, Becky teachers also courted me in the hallways

next year again Random cashier girl told my mother that “her son is so handsome” , and random woman started chatting with me and sitting next to me while there were other empty seats in public transport ,I even remember one good looking middle aged woman flirted with me to oblivion then I cummed in my pants


It was good but the main mistake was not being nt and a piece of shit normie,I was a good person and I’ll keep on being a good man

when puberty hit in like 15 , second puberty or whatever I turned from a high normie to a truecel and it become worse in the process, I’m now the most ugliest motherfucker here everywhere Igo I get bullied harassed ostracized and made fun of

Maybe I was just thinking those stuff tho, it might be normal maybe I’m delusional , it just interpreted like that in my head

You remind me a bit of the fictional virgin Aspie John:

The protagonist of our story is a man named "Aspie John" and involves a woman named "Anxious Jane".

Aspie John meets Anxious Jane in "High School".

Anxious Jane is in Special Ed for severe anxiety, and so is Aspie John. Aspie John and Anxious Jane appear to have some mutual attraction at times, given Anxious Jane would always make the same "anxious" hand-fiddling gestures as Aspie John and would wear a shirt with his favorite color: "Blue". When Aspie John dropped a stack of homework sheets on one occasion, Anxious Jane wrote a "message" for him on her sheet the very next day.

Anxious Jane, however, always manages to next to the tallest kid in the room, which is odd given he sits alone in an otherwise empty row of desks. When Tall Kid helps the teacher pick up classroom litter, Anxious Jane suddenly bolts up and quickly joins them. Aspie John remains seated due to anxiety. After some time, Tall Kid starts to sit with other kids in the classroom, leaving Anxious Jane sitting alone each day. He sits across from Aspie John.

Three years later...

Aspie John and Anxious Jane are in different Special Ed classrooms. Anxious Jane speaks of wanting to be in a "relationship" with Aspie John. There is a catch, however: Anxious Jane regularly wears ponytails and make-up for the Tall Kid in her new classroom. She would flirt with this man in class(Which frustrated her teacher) and would also chat with him over text and social media, all while sometimes making friendly gestures towards Aspie John in passing through the hallway.

On a certain occasion, though, Aspie John encounters Anxious Jane in a hospital lab waiting room. Anxious Jane makes "romantic" gestures towards Aspie John. Aspie John, being a very coy man, is reluctant to approach Anxious Jane. As he prepares to approach her, he recalls her heavy flirtation with Tall Kid in her new classroom. He also remembers hearing her teacher say, "Why is Anxious Jane flirting with Tall Kid? She already has a boyfriend."

He then decides to ignore her and covers himself with a hoodie.

A few days later, Aspie John overhears a teacher speaking of himself and Anxious Jane - "He's so sensitive! Oh my goodness! They were just joking!" - Note that this is after months of flirting and closeness between Anxious Jane and Tall Kid. Shortly after that, Anxious Jane flirts with Tall Kid in her classroom, telling him "P-Please don't call my phone number".

An interesting story of "signals" and cues, yes?

As for the "speaking", Anxious Jane's hand-fiddling gestures, as well as her decision to mimic several of Aspie John's other avoidant behaviors, led to criticism from the Phys. Ed teacher, who said:

"Jane was playing with her hands instead of working on her activities. I think we have a dynamic there. Keep that in check."

Young blonde "Ashley" smiled at Aspie John during his first stint in group therapy. He noticed her beautiful black dress on Halloween.

And, of course, the 12-year-old Black girl in his group. She sat next to him and stared at him during a kissing scene in a dragon movie(He saw it from his peripheral vision). This was how she stared at him as he built with Jenga alone:

Our dear protagonist, Aspie John, enjoys another day during his stint in class when he encounters a new kid: Short Morena.

Short Morena is a depressed, somewhat anxious girl of about fifteen-years of age with bipolar disorder. She has mood swings, chronic migraines and a clear distaste for vain youth, much like Aspie John. He also notices her similar self-harm behaviors. They do not immediately chat, however.

After a month or so, Aspie John develops an attraction to Short Morena, since she is humble, serious and non-flirtatious, something quite different from the behavior/personality of Anxious Jane. The two participate in a gym activity with the Phys. Ed teacher, during which Short Morena grabs Aspie John's hand to help him cross the web used for the activity. He thanks her and the two receive praise from the Phys Ed. teacher for working together. In another gym activity involving sports, she offers advice to Aspie John as he struggles to push a puck with a stick due to his motor coordination problems.

Short Morena begins to greet Aspie John, which he responds to with "Hello". Days go on, and Short Morena asks Aspie John if he wishes to play a game with her, since he sits alone daily and stutters, which he declines. One day, the class prepares to go outside for a walk, which causes Short Morena to speak to Aspie John:

"Shouldn't you get your jacket, Aspie John?"

"Yes, I think I should..."

Short Morena then informs the teacher, and Aspie John gets his coat. It is, after all, a very cold day in March 2016. A day or so later, a new kid joins the class, Unkind Blondie. Unkind Blondie argues with other classroom kids over something fairly meaningless, and is sent to a new classroom as a result. After the argument, Short Morena asks Aspie John:

"Were you bothered by the class argument?"

"No, I was not"

"Okay"

The two enter the school lobby in preparation to leave, and Short Morena asks Aspie John, "Did you have a good day?", which he replies "Yes" to. She then says, "I see your ride outside", and Aspie John leaves.

Gradually, Aspie John becomes deeply attracted to Short Morena and finds himself heavy with anxiety at the thought of seeing her each day. He takes note of her problems as she speaks to the teacher and notes statements such as "I feel like a disgusting bipolar girl". The teachers says "She has a flat affect", which Aspie John is already aware of. He starts to envision himself chatting with her about various different things, even though it pains him since stutters and is too anxious to form a friendship with her.

Soon, Aspie John learns that Short Morena will be moving and transferring to a different school soon, which greatly saddens him. He also stays home for several days due to his encounter with Anxious Jane in the hospital waiting room. Upon returning to school, he participates in a class game with the other students, a game of Mad-Libs. That day is also Short Morena's last day of school.

As Aspie John starts to relay his answers to the class, Short Morena starts laughing happily at each answer and votes for him when the teacher asks the class which student provided the best answers, which causes him to become very jittery from anxiety yet calm.

As the two students leave class, Short Morena says "Bye, Aspie John" in a kind tone to Aspie John, which causes him to reply with a calm "Ok". He is grateful to have met her, though he knows she views him only as someone to be pitied for his illnesses.

The very next day, however:

"I think Aspie John was extremely hurt when we discussed the behavior of Anxious Jane and Tall Kid. He was covering himself up with a hoodie upon seeing her."

"He's so sensitive! Oh my goodness! They were just joking!"

"If Aspie John wanted someone more like him, why didn't he just..."

The other kids in the classroom then start whispering about it and Aspie John overhears them, filling him with shame and embarrassment. He still misses Short Morena. Days before school graduation, Aspie John overhears two teachers discussing him and Anxious Jane:

"So, Anxious Jane is graduating soon"

"When Anxious Jane realizes how difficult it will be to communicate with Aspie John, she'll be crying"

"No, I think she'll be okay. She has plenty of friends and support"

Upon hearing this, two students sitting in the front row of Aspie John, a boy and a girl, whisper and immediately afterwards say to one another:

"Hi Mulatto Boy" - To an autistic child

"Hi Mulatta Girl"

Aspie John assumes they are laughing at him, as he is already anxious and very depressed on this particular day, given he has ASD-related attachment. He has no actual intention to "reconcile" with Anxious Jane, since she has a clear preference for "high status" White males. When a teacher asks him of his opinion of his time in the classroom, he simply responds with "Ambivalent".

As Aspie John leaves his classroom for the final time, the teacher provides him with copies of each homework sheet he submitted. Aspie John is very grateful and thanks him before leaving, with slightly teary eyes not visible to the teacher.

Kevin was 15-years of age, 5'8, Anglo and autistic. He was in the class for only a single day before being switched to another Special Ed classroom, but spent the day socializing with Short Morena. The two played a board game as Aspie John, who shared the table with them, focused on coloring.

Aspie John colored with a regular pencil since Short Morena was reaching over the plastic box of colored pencils to play with Kevin and our protagonist was much too anxious to ask her to move. Short Morena eventually stopped playing the game and briefly said, "I'm sorry, Aspie John...", after realizing her behavior was selfish.

A girl named "Roxanne" sat next to him at a desk isolated from all the other youth. As did a young Blonde Stacylite named Calista. When he was leaving school, Calista whined about having to be there. "Ali" wrote "hearts and kisses" for his section on the school "compliments sheet" activity. Both had boyfriends.

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

You remind me a bit of the fictional virgin Aspie John:

TLDR please mr grossbier

 

[Leorio]

It is nothing better than incel

Normie of today is an incel of tomorrow because female hypergamy is unlimited always increasing up.

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

Normie of today is an incel of tomorrow because female hypergamy is unlimited always increasing up.

I’m the most truecel here

 

[decembrist_kirillov]

I’m the most truecel here

Yea yea

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

TLDR please mr grossbier

He was bullied and cucked.

 

[erenyeager]

I’m the most truecel here

maybe if your shins were blown up and are my height but no seriously i believe you

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

maybe if your shins were blown up and are my height but no seriously i believe you

Maybe if you’re wrists were cut and shins were broken and kneecaps blown off

 

[erenyeager]

Maybe if you’re wrists were cut and shins were broken and kneecaps blown off

nah, but i like to see you try. now go masturbate you aint being a stepfather to me itll help you and your sexually frusterated mind brocel. i knwo the great anf powerful @Mentally lost cel isnt using his own testicles think for him, now is he. you are better thsn that. you are a erenyeagerer by heart now use that anger on normies, instead of me. i have faith in you.

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

What is this place even…

You’ll kys if you lived my life post puberty

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

nah, but i like to see you try. now go masturbate you aint being a stepfather to me itll help you and your sexually frusterated mind brocel. i knwo the great anf powerful @Mentally lost cel isnt using his own testicles think for him, now is he. you are better thsn that. you are a erenyeagerer by heart now use that anger on normies, instead of me. i have faith in you.

Stfu bitch and yeah I am the great and powerful mlc!

 

[erenyeager]

Stfu bitch and yeah I am the great and powerful mlc!

i aint your bitch, i am your commander who will free you, little brother.

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

i aint your bitch, i am your commander who will free you, little brother.

And I am your god

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

i aint your bitch, i am your commander who will free you, little brother.

How old are you faggot

 

[erenyeager]

And I am your god

nah, im already that position, also lemme pm you something i need to tell you something important brother.

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

nah, im already that position, also lemme pm you something i need to tell you something important brother.

Fuck you bitch

 

[erenyeager]

How old are you faggot

i am turning 22, unemployed. ugly with shit beard. smell like ass, have brown crust eyes and i am 5'3 that is khhv. also a foid called me a child molester once because of my ugly face and height

 

[erenyeager]

Fuck you bitch

what if we are both gods hmmm but yet are seperate but equal. we can use tall incels as allies for shortcels. we are boith in the same boat nigga woman want us both extinct equally. think about what we can do with our insanity high iqs

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

i am turning 22, unemployed. ugly with shit beard. smell like ass, have brown crust eyes and i am 5'3 that is khhv. also a foid called me a child molester once because of my ugly face and height

Ok relatable

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

what if we are both gods hmmm but yet are seperate but equal. we can use tall incels as allies for shortcels. we are boith in the same boat nigga woman want us both extinct equally. think about what we can do with our insanity high iqs

Yeah I agree ,as the god of tall incels and with the spirit of Dylan I agree that we can help incels of all kind except tallhatinf incels ,well kill them

 

[erenyeager]

Yeah I agree ,as the god of tall incels and with the spirit of Dylan I agree that we can help incels of all kind except tallhatinf incels ,well kill them

as god of the shortcels, we could mend our ways to each other. and stop them all who disagree with us.

 

[mentally lost cel 1]

as god of the shortcels, we could mend our ways to each other. and stop them all who disagree with us.

With the spirit of Eric you can

 

[erenyeager]

With the spirit of Eric you can

yes i saw him in paths