EthnicelNL
Never began tbhtbh
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- Joined
- May 2, 2018
- Posts
- 8,975
Lmao read this cucks story
https://reddit.app.link/G7YZ057kqN
He even tells her to fuck someone else. Fucking cucks
https://reddit.app.link/G7YZ057kqN
I originally posted this as a comment and was asked why this wasn't a post. They're right, so here it is. I have been lurking, silently commiserating with several posters in this group for some time. My story: I've been married almost 31 years, 2 intimate nights in the past 18 years, (it's easy to keep track of when you journal daily, lol). There is zero touching, the best he managed was occasionally grasping my hand when he dropped me off for work or a paper-dry kiss when I arrived home. Even those stopped over a three years ago. I confronted him 6 years ago via an email, said I wouldn't be expecting an answer for 48 hours - hoping he would think about his answer. I gave him options, said I would accept ANYTHING...I didn't care if he was gay and had been hiding, if I didn't do it for him and he wanted to have an open relationship. I told him that those "blue days" where I cry at the drop of hat and am inconsolable are the result of having zero intimacy and that most of the time I can deal, but sometimes I can't control it. I told him I could work and adapt to anything except this isolation and loneliness. I get home from work that evening and almost the first words out of his mouth were "I got your email, sex isn't my thing." Can you say blown away? That was it, I was being dismissed in one 8 word sentence. I was so flabbergasted I muttered an "oh, okay". I had also learned my home network had monitoring capabilities, and being the curious woman I am I set it up to take screenshots of his system at 1 hour intervals. He was watching up 20-40 hours of porn a week...I quit monitoring shortly after. What was the point. He is a REALLY decent man and has given me a great life in all other respects. Plus we've been through him being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer almost 10 years ago and he's 12 years older than me. I won't walk out on him... one of my best friends, completely monogamous, told me to find a lover to give me what I'm missing, that she would never call it being unfaithful under the circumstances. So I went on Ashley Madison almost 4 years ago and met a wonderful man whose situation mirrored mine in many ways. During this process I had conversations/coffee/lunch with a couple dozen prospective partners. My rule - no one who wasn't in a situation similar to mine...no guy who looking to fulfill any fantasies his partner wouldn't participate in, or getting older and wanted to experience everything, and no one who still had an intimate relationship with his partner. My conclusion? I no longer judge or jump to conclusions and there are a WHOLE lot of people out there, in committed relationships, whose partners have rejected them, lost interest, whatever...and they are missing more than sex. There were only a couple of men I would describe as "players". For the most part, they all agonized about the decision and did not take the step to find a FWB lightly and had a variety of what I consider legitimate reasons for staying with their partner. Human beings who are denied one of the basic human needs, and by the person with whom we are supposed to share the most private. We all know, or have read, the studies about babies who are abandoned and how they begin to thrive when they are held. Those needs, for most people, don't wane, and certainly don't disappear. We had a relationship for almost 2 years, then his wife began to suspect so we respectfully ended it.
I began searching again and was approached by a man who I had a couple of meetings with near the beginning of my search and who had abruptly disappeared much to my dismay - I thought we had the possibility of a good connection. Long story short, he had ended his 28 year marriage and was wondering if his heartfelt apology would lead to me giving him another chance. We've been together as FWB for almost 2 years with our goal to be together as a couple when the time is right. I've found out it wasn't about the sex, as great as that is, it is a by-product of the intimacy almost every human being needs, not only to thrive, but to simply exist.
I've also reflected on those four little words - "sex isn't my thing". From the beginning, our sex life had never been explosive or regular and quickly dwindled into non-existence. There was a short period of about 4 months a few years into our marriage where he saw a counselor, I joined him in a session, we went home, did our "homework" and he pronounced everything fixed. In retrospect, his words negated whatever intimacy we ever did have. What was it for him? A chore? a duty?
In conclusion, from my cautionary tale?...don't beat yourself up. We're all on individual journeys in life and there are good, legitimate reasons for both for either staying or leaving. But do NOT let your soul wither and disappear into a puff of smoke. My second biggest shock in all this? My parents have been married for 62 years. My dad (84) still grabs my mom (81) from behind and gives her neck kisses, he still looks at her like she is his entire world. They are all that's good in a relationship. When I bared my soul to her, her first response, without any hesitation was "I'm so glad you've found some joy in your life..."
He even tells her to fuck someone else. Fucking cucks
