At work I overheard this faggot coworker yapping away on the phone with a woman, his voice tinged with agitation as the conversation dragged on.
Once he hung up the phone, he let out an exasperated sigh and exclaimed, "This is why I'm gay! Seriously, women just can't make up their minds! One minute she says Monday, then she says Wednesday, then she says Saturday. She just couldn't make up her mind. This is why I'm gay!"
I was impressed by his audacity to say this out loud with other female co-workers around. I could feel the collective indignation and wounded pride emanating from them, their hamster wheels must've been spinning at full speed desperately searching for some way to discredit this pillow-biter's brutally honest assessment of their gender.
But I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the sheer stupidity of his statement. I mean, come on, butt-pirate - you're not gay because women are indecisive. You're a knob-gobbler because you either got raped by a man, groomed through a perverted upbringing, or you probably have a micro penis. Or, maybe, you're so repulsive to females that you just ended up going the way of the Sphincter-sailors.
And let's not forget the fact that all it would take is one HR complaint from a triggered female coworker or a simp to send this cum-guzzler's career down the toilet faster than he can say "turd-burglar."
Pictures their faces: red with self-righteous indignation as they furiously scribble out their HR complaints and wave it like battle flags, all because this brownie-bandit had dared to speak the truth about the indecisive and annoying nature of females, and now they want to make him pay for his honesty.
The real punchline will come when he reaches old age, and he's forced to waddle around in a diaper, his blown-out anus a testament to the result of decades of bun-burgling adventures, his body betraying him in the most humiliating way possible.
Once he hung up the phone, he let out an exasperated sigh and exclaimed, "This is why I'm gay! Seriously, women just can't make up their minds! One minute she says Monday, then she says Wednesday, then she says Saturday. She just couldn't make up her mind. This is why I'm gay!"
I was impressed by his audacity to say this out loud with other female co-workers around.
I could feel the collective indignation and wounded pride emanating from them, their hamster wheels must've been spinning at full speed desperately searching for some way to discredit this pillow-biter's brutally honest assessment of their gender. But I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the sheer stupidity of his statement. I mean, come on, butt-pirate - you're not gay because women are indecisive. You're a knob-gobbler because you either got raped by a man, groomed through a perverted upbringing, or you probably have a micro penis. Or, maybe, you're so repulsive to females that you just ended up going the way of the Sphincter-sailors.
And let's not forget the fact that all it would take is one HR complaint from a triggered female coworker or a simp to send this cum-guzzler's career down the toilet faster than he can say "turd-burglar."
Pictures their faces: red with self-righteous indignation as they furiously scribble out their HR complaints and wave it like battle flags, all because this brownie-bandit had dared to speak the truth about the indecisive and annoying nature of females, and now they want to make him pay for his honesty.
The real punchline will come when he reaches old age, and he's forced to waddle around in a diaper, his blown-out anus a testament to the result of decades of bun-burgling adventures, his body betraying him in the most humiliating way possible.
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