T
When I think of having a GF, especially when I was young, I would imagine how it would be, how I would feel. That is until someone else, someone smarter, better equipt better looking comes along. It's just a story about the girl that lived across the street how it could have been and how it would inevitably end but some guys here will understand.
Anger and disappointment over a broken promise. Forgiveness and then the softest and most beautiful kiss there ever was
Stealing looks through your bedroom door that always seemed open wider than it should have been when changing to go out. Facing back through the door looking at me with your tongue in the corner of your mouth; watching me then Corleone –Kate meme just as you unhooked your bra. Rushing past me whispering the word "pig" from the corner of your mouth. As if you made believe, I was oblivious to your scheme.
Giving gifts to each other things that can be given once in a lifetime.
Being late.
Getting caught; enduring lectures on responsibility supported with feigned astonishment.
Your impish grin when I taught you the phrase In flagrante delicto. Watching your shining eyes and flashing teeth as you slowly mouth the words exaggerate each movement of your tongue; In fla-GRAN-te de-lic-to. in measured syllables as if they were a magic incantation.
Wearing the new lipstick, you had to have. So Cosmo
Sitting in the dark watching your favorite movie. I don’t remember actually seeing the film. I watched it on your face as you mimed the dialog. How your expression came and went as the mood changed. Just the glow off your eyes.
Now, now it is all gone.
I scream curses at a long occluded faith. Raw throated pleadings of a despondent soul.
Brave words when you never expected to have to live by them. Just whistling past the graveyard.
In your new life, I wish you would find all that I gave you and all that I could not.
You will remember me, you will, I think in the fullness of time you might thank me that you could, at last, realize such a love could be imagined. That even while in despair I might feel it an know you now understand what my hours of notes speeches, songs, letters, tears, giggles, touches, kisses, sonnets, poems, shouts of joy, screams of passion and all instruments of blind devotion could not.
I might hope for a cosmic nod. Perhaps I increased the love in the world. A real hombre; if you have to lose, this is the way to do it.
It was so perfectly beautiful it just had to count for something. Such nonsense
Standing here looking over at your house I see your bedroom window when we were kids you would tape a smiley face when you were happy with me and a much bigger frownie face all in red when you were not. There is still tape on the windows from so many years ago.
Standing here I realize it is none of that. It is not new lipstick fancy words indulgent bedroom romps or unrestrained passion. Not love notes nor frownie faces sweet soft kisses or the light of a movie as it danced off your eyes. What I saw those eyes when I heard for the first time the words I love you. The closest to heaven I will every get.
You see I turned left instead of right; I kissed you twice instead of once, I gave a shout and not a whisper. You loved me, and then you did not.
I won’t kill myself or anything like that, at least not today.
I will have to become a wholly different person, the man I am now without you to love me cannot exist in the same space and time.
I’ll be ok I think some day. Some sleep
after all tomorrow is anoth-er…
shhh sure baby don't cry now, I understand.
You just don’t love me. Anymore.
Anger and disappointment over a broken promise. Forgiveness and then the softest and most beautiful kiss there ever was
Stealing looks through your bedroom door that always seemed open wider than it should have been when changing to go out. Facing back through the door looking at me with your tongue in the corner of your mouth; watching me then Corleone –Kate meme just as you unhooked your bra. Rushing past me whispering the word "pig" from the corner of your mouth. As if you made believe, I was oblivious to your scheme.
Giving gifts to each other things that can be given once in a lifetime.
Being late.
Getting caught; enduring lectures on responsibility supported with feigned astonishment.
Your impish grin when I taught you the phrase In flagrante delicto. Watching your shining eyes and flashing teeth as you slowly mouth the words exaggerate each movement of your tongue; In fla-GRAN-te de-lic-to. in measured syllables as if they were a magic incantation.
Wearing the new lipstick, you had to have. So Cosmo
Sitting in the dark watching your favorite movie. I don’t remember actually seeing the film. I watched it on your face as you mimed the dialog. How your expression came and went as the mood changed. Just the glow off your eyes.
Now, now it is all gone.
I scream curses at a long occluded faith. Raw throated pleadings of a despondent soul.
Brave words when you never expected to have to live by them. Just whistling past the graveyard.
In your new life, I wish you would find all that I gave you and all that I could not.
You will remember me, you will, I think in the fullness of time you might thank me that you could, at last, realize such a love could be imagined. That even while in despair I might feel it an know you now understand what my hours of notes speeches, songs, letters, tears, giggles, touches, kisses, sonnets, poems, shouts of joy, screams of passion and all instruments of blind devotion could not.
I might hope for a cosmic nod. Perhaps I increased the love in the world. A real hombre; if you have to lose, this is the way to do it.
It was so perfectly beautiful it just had to count for something. Such nonsense
Standing here looking over at your house I see your bedroom window when we were kids you would tape a smiley face when you were happy with me and a much bigger frownie face all in red when you were not. There is still tape on the windows from so many years ago.
Standing here I realize it is none of that. It is not new lipstick fancy words indulgent bedroom romps or unrestrained passion. Not love notes nor frownie faces sweet soft kisses or the light of a movie as it danced off your eyes. What I saw those eyes when I heard for the first time the words I love you. The closest to heaven I will every get.
You see I turned left instead of right; I kissed you twice instead of once, I gave a shout and not a whisper. You loved me, and then you did not.
I won’t kill myself or anything like that, at least not today.
I will have to become a wholly different person, the man I am now without you to love me cannot exist in the same space and time.
I’ll be ok I think some day. Some sleep
after all tomorrow is anoth-er…
shhh sure baby don't cry now, I understand.
You just don’t love me. Anymore.
