My life is a complete failure.
I can't get seks because I have bad genes.
But I know this life I'm living rn has no purpose.
I don't know what I'm doing here, why I'm still alive.
I missed on teen love, I missed on everything that teenagers do and make them feel adults.
No big parties, no orgies with strangers, nothing for me.
22 years old now, some people of my age already are married, have children, have a steady job.
And there's me rotting in my room all depressed, still a khhv, dependent from my parents and doing deadend studies.
I know I'll never be happy, because I'm too much damaged now.
The past was far from great, the present sucks, and the future will be even worse.
A feeling of "why bother? i'm already dead"
I don't know how many years my life will stay like this. I don't know how many years I'll stay here until I decide to kill myself, finally.
Video games still are a good cope but I know I won't be able to cope forever.
I already feel less joy playing them than before.
You guys won't probably read all of this but I don't care.
I'm just full of a mix of anger, sadness, depression, loneliness, inside void.
I'm thinking more and more about suicide.
I don't even care about foids, sex, and everything right now.
I just wanna go to the other side of the world on a lonely island and NEET like a king until I die.
But this probably will never happen.
I also know that I'm a fucking mentalcel too, that my schizo bipolar ass can have a totally different mindset within a few hours for whatever reason.
I'm fucking sick, guys.
Mentally and physically sick. I can't even make the difference between both. Maybe a truecel trait idk.
I'm tired. Tired of this non-sense life. I want to end it all. Just have a gun, pull the trigger and boom, my struggle would be over.
But I feel my loss would be a big loss. Idk for who, but I feel this. Maybe committing suicide would be a betrayal against my fellow brocels.
This, or I'm too much of a coward, I don't know. I'm too much broken to even have a rational thinking anymore.
I don't feel better at all writing all of this.
But I know you guys, at least those who'll read this long text, will understand what I mean.
That feeling of being lost in a world you don't belong into.
That feeling of not being able to be happy whatever you think or whatever you do.
There is no future for us. No future at all. We're all doomed.
I can't get seks because I have bad genes.
But I know this life I'm living rn has no purpose.
I don't know what I'm doing here, why I'm still alive.
I missed on teen love, I missed on everything that teenagers do and make them feel adults.
No big parties, no orgies with strangers, nothing for me.
22 years old now, some people of my age already are married, have children, have a steady job.
And there's me rotting in my room all depressed, still a khhv, dependent from my parents and doing deadend studies.
I know I'll never be happy, because I'm too much damaged now.
The past was far from great, the present sucks, and the future will be even worse.
A feeling of "why bother? i'm already dead"
I don't know how many years my life will stay like this. I don't know how many years I'll stay here until I decide to kill myself, finally.
Video games still are a good cope but I know I won't be able to cope forever.
I already feel less joy playing them than before.
You guys won't probably read all of this but I don't care.
I'm just full of a mix of anger, sadness, depression, loneliness, inside void.
I'm thinking more and more about suicide.
I don't even care about foids, sex, and everything right now.
I just wanna go to the other side of the world on a lonely island and NEET like a king until I die.
But this probably will never happen.
I also know that I'm a fucking mentalcel too, that my schizo bipolar ass can have a totally different mindset within a few hours for whatever reason.
I'm fucking sick, guys.
Mentally and physically sick. I can't even make the difference between both. Maybe a truecel trait idk.
I'm tired. Tired of this non-sense life. I want to end it all. Just have a gun, pull the trigger and boom, my struggle would be over.
But I feel my loss would be a big loss. Idk for who, but I feel this. Maybe committing suicide would be a betrayal against my fellow brocels.
This, or I'm too much of a coward, I don't know. I'm too much broken to even have a rational thinking anymore.
I don't feel better at all writing all of this.
But I know you guys, at least those who'll read this long text, will understand what I mean.
That feeling of being lost in a world you don't belong into.
That feeling of not being able to be happy whatever you think or whatever you do.
There is no future for us. No future at all. We're all doomed.
