Looking back on your past actions

[i_a_m_i]

It feels weird looking back on the things I did in the past. For example, looking through the things I've posted on .co over the last few years, there are times where it seems like posts which were supposedly written by me could very well have been written by an entirely different person.

This is strange, because it also seems like my thoughts are always about the same things. They're repetitive, and I rarely think of something interesting. My thoughts are a seemingly endless and cyclical dream, with nothing ever changing, nothing new ever appearing, and nothing ever being resolved. Dissatisfaction is a constant.

The same patterns always repeat themselves. Things everywhere are moving, and their operation continues, yet nothing ever changes. I feel like I'm already in the torture machine, that this is already a hell, that I'm trapped in a world which is by nature paradoxical, and that nothing ever has or ever will make sense. I feel like I've witnessed my own death, again and again.

I guess I just don't feel a sense of connection to anything, either to my past self or to my present self. I feel like everything, even the "simplest" thing, is beyond my understanding.

 

[StormWind]

You lack an identity because you'll never fit in, you let people determine your image and not who YOU are. Decide for yourself internally and not based on what others think. You feel frustrated I get it, but you either need to change or your environment.

 

[Animecel2D]

Everything moves while you stand still

 

[Golden]

I would say such sensations are common amongst lonely men, not caused by our loneliness but because we are the ones that take the most time to think about our previous actions, and our lifes
As George Gurdijeff said, ''A man is never the same for long. He is continually changing. He seldom remains the same even for half an hour.''

 

[Deleted member 25274]

No new thoughts because you can’t do anything new.

 

[Yerberito]

Its kinda weird to lok back in time

 

[ReallyRice]

okay.

 

[Deleted member 25274]

Its kinda weird to lok back in time

How far back

 

[Yerberito]

How far back

a couple years

 

[Deleted member 25274]

a couple years

hm

 

[Koruga]

I can relate, sometimes I feel that the flow of time runs fast and I have not changed anything.
Good modcel post.

 

[AlexanderTheGreat11]

Interesting

 

[Yerberito]

No new thoughts because you can’t do anything new.

wtd u mean?

 

[Deleted member 25274]

wtd u mean?

This is strange, because it also seems like my thoughts are always about the same things. They're repetitive, and I rarely think of something interesting. .

 

[Yerberito]

.

gotcha

 

[Deleted member 18214]

I feel exactly the same, my memory has gotten so rotted from ldar that I find it hard to believe I have written past posts JFL.

 

[Joelossus]

I can relate, whenever i read older posts that i made i have a hard time believing that it was actually me who wrote them. I often feel very disconected from my past in general. Expecially when looking at old pictures of myself, it's like i'm looking at pictures of an entirely different person. It's a very odd feeling, i guess that's what spending the majority of your life in isolation does to you.

 

[ItsOver4cel]

Its kinda weird to look back in time

indeed