Venting Living with a deformity sucks. Constant anxiety on a university campus

[Fontaine]

Anyone else in the same case? I always feel mildly anxious when moving around the campus, as I fear that some group of low inhib youths will notice my deformities and mock me, or a Stacy will stare at them with big eyes and whisper something to her friend.

The worst is entering a building where lots of students see you enter, such as the library or cafeteria.

I hide this anxiety well now - very aloof, "I don't care what happens" attitude, but a part of my brain does care greatly. The anxiety will probably never go away.

 

[lactose]

just dont go to uni bro. not worth

 

[Zaetheus]

just dont go to uni bro. not worth

 

[Solitarian_Walker]

What deformity.

 

[Fontaine]

just dont go to uni bro. not worth

NEETing gets old after a while.

 

[CompleteFuckingLoser]

Just be confident, bro.

 

[Fontaine]

What deformity.

Mandible deformity and dolicocephaly.

 

[lactose]

NEETing gets old after a while.

neet until rope is how we do ;]

 

[deepthroat]

So how many times someone really mocked you? I mean as an adult. I have same fears, but more older you get it's less common for someone to dare to mock you.
I think it's really hard to stop carring what others think, but personally to stay single forever frightens me much more.

 

[rudolfhess]

neet until rope is how we do ;]

 

[Mainländer]

While in Uni I had panic attacks and used to hide myself in the bathroom one floor above my class when the pause was over. Then I would wait a couple of minutes and fuck off from uni.

I also lowinhibmaxxed when they tried to do a newcomer prank on me, pushed everybody aside and went away.

 

[FlyFace]

I look like a stroke victim.

 

[lactose]

I look like a stroke victim.

 

[Blacktarpill]

"I don't care what happens" attitude, but a part of my brain does care greatly.

I hate this feeling

 

[Deleted member 14490]

Living on a college campus is 24/7 suifuel. I just ldar in my room tbh

 

[AllHandsOnDeck]

Living on a college campus is 24/7 suifuel. I just ldar in my room tbh

ME TOO

 

[Fontaine]

So how many times someone really mocked you?

The saddest part is that I almost never experience mockery or staring. I am paranoid about it, so I always triple-check all people's faces in my FOV to read subtle hints of a mockery/staring process in its beginning. 99.5% of the time, people look at me only one millisecond and get immediately back to their business like nothing happened.

And yet sometimes it happens. I have no idea why some people get particularly triggered by the sight of my deformities - they are less than 1 in a hundred, nearly always teenage boys. This rare occurrence is what makes me paranoid.

 

[itsmemario]

You should never care what people think who don't mean anything to you, and those who mock you should never mean anything to you. I know it's more easy to tell than to do.

 

[IsolationHurts]

While in Uni I had panic attacks and used to hide myself in the bathroom one floor above my class when the pause was over. Then I would wait a couple of minutes and fuck off from uni.

I also lowinhibmaxxed when they tried to do a newcomer prank on me, pushed everybody aside and went away.

I can relate... i was so extremely anxious sometimes (i was the ugly outcast) that i had to leave the class, go to an isolated place, meditate for 5-10 mins until i stop feeling sick, and return.
Same with newcomers prank, just thinking about it gave me nausea. I avoided it.

 

[wizardcel]

Yes, I know what you mean; I have a fucking lipoma on my forehead. I have had it for three years and fortunately, it hasn't grown much. Thank God I will get it removed in two months. I already have nearly enough money for the surgery.

 

[Fontaine]

While in Uni I had panic attacks and used to hide myself in the bathroom one floor above my class when the pause was over. Then I would wait a couple of minutes and fuck off from uni.

I also lowinhibmaxxed when they tried to do a newcomer prank on me, pushed everybody aside and went away.

What were you fearing exactly? You aren't deformed, just a bit ugly.

You should never care what people think who don't mean anything to you, and those who mock you should never mean anything to you. I know it's more easy to tell than to do.

Sounds like something disabled and deformed people must hear one time a week from their educators and therapists... The reality is that the brain will always care... Even people with Down syndrome must feel like dying when someone mocks them. I knew a 30-something woman with several disabilities, and despite years of psychotherapy, she was still anxious in public and full of insecurities.

 

[GeneticDysfunction]

Push through bro those fuckers wont pay your bills

 

[FaceandHFD]

What deformities do you have?

 

[StaroRavager]

Anyone else in the same case? I always feel mildly anxious when moving around the campus, as I fear that some group of low inhib youths will notice my deformities and mock me, or a Stacy will stare at them with big eyes and whisper something to her friend.

The worst is entering a building where lots of students see you enter, such as the library or cafeteria.

I hide this anxiety well now - very aloof, "I don't care what happens" attitude, but a part of my brain does care greatly. The anxiety will probably never go away.

Great minds think alike

 

[deepthroat]

The saddest part is that I almost never experience mockery or staring. I am paranoid about it, so I always triple-check all people's faces in my FOV to read subtle hints of a mockery/staring process in its beginning. 99.5% of the time, people look at me only one millisecond and get immediately back to their business like nothing happened.

And yet sometimes it happens. I have no idea why some people get particularly triggered by the sight of my deformities - they are less than 1 in a hundred, nearly always teenage boys. This rare occurrence is what makes me paranoid.

That's what i thought, I have always been scared of how others perceive me and if they would feel disgust. I would say it is a cognitive mistake, but we already know it, it doesn't lessen this mild level of anxiety. Teenage boys are extremely obsessed with their insecurities and are often seeking comparison to boost their egos, to feel they have it better. Their individualities are not very well developed, so I would advise not to take any such attention seriously. On other side, adults, especially educated, beside having better manners, usually don't seek comparison and are aware of factors that invididual can't affect, probably know someone affected very well and when there are undoubtedly stupid people, I can only feel sorry for their lack of awareness.

 

[itsmemario]

What were you fearing exactly? You aren't deformed, just a bit ugly.


Sounds like something disabled and deformed people must hear one time a week from their educators and therapists... The reality is that the brain will always care... Even people with Down syndrome must feel like dying when someone mocks them. I knew a 30-something woman with several disabilities, and despite years of psychotherapy, she was still anxious in public and full of insecurities.

No, this is something for everyone, everyone even chads sometimes care too much about what random people think about them. I too try to care only a few peoples opinions who i know.

 

[Fontaine]

What deformities do you have?

As already stated, mandible deformity and skull deformity (dolicocephaly). I also have two other ones hidden by clothes (sternum deformity and very low BMI).

As to the reason I didn't get these deformities surgically fixed: beats me. My parents didn't want to help me do it (they think I am normal and "handsome" kek), my family doctor acted oblivious to them, and I then developed some kind of learned helplessness about the whole shebang.

 

[FaceandHFD]

As already stated, mandible deformity and skull deformity (dolicocephaly). I also have two other ones hidden by clothes (sternum deformity and very low BMI).

As to the reason I didn't get these deformities surgically fixed: beats me. My parents didn't want to help me do it (they think I am normal and "handsome" kek), my family doctor acted oblivious to them, and I then developed some kind of learned helplessness about the whole shebang.

Do you plan to get surgery for your mandible after uni?
It will make a huge difference.

 

[Autizmooos]

Anyone else in the same case? I always feel mildly anxious when moving around the campus, as I fear that some group of low inhib youths will notice my deformities and mock me, or a Stacy will stare at them with big eyes and whisper something to her friend.

The worst is entering a building where lots of students see you enter, such as the library or cafeteria.

I hide this anxiety well now - very aloof, "I don't care what happens" attitude, but a part of my brain does care greatly. The anxiety will probably never go away.

i can associate desu but i think people don't even notice i exist

As already stated, mandible deformity and skull deformity (dolicocephaly). I also have two other ones hidden by clothes (sternum deformity and very low BMI).

As to the reason I didn't get these deformities surgically fixed: beats me. My parents didn't want to help me do it (they think I am normal and "handsome" kek), my family doctor acted oblivious to them, and I then developed some kind of learned helplessness about the whole shebang.

dolicocephaly: same
very low bmi : same my bmi is 16.9 and to make it worse i'm a manlet

 

[FiveFourManlet]

I am doing a degree, but I don't go to my lectures, i just wagecuck and run home to rot in my room.

 

[Fontaine]

That's what i thought, I have always been scared of how others perceive me and if they would feel disgust. I would say it is a cognitive mistake, but we already know it, it doesn't lessen this mild level of anxiety. Teenage boys are extremely obsessed with their insecurities and are often seeking comparison to boost their egos, to feel they have it better. Their individualities are not very well developed, so I would advise not to take any such attention seriously. On other side, adults, especially educated, beside having better manners, usually don't seek comparison and are aware of factors that invididual can't affect, probably know someone affected very well and when there are undoubtedly stupid people, I can only feel sorry for their lack of awareness.

My rational brain already knows all this. My emotional brain cares about what my rational brain thinks only slightly.

Also, if teenage boys view me as some object of comparison to feel better about themselves, it's honestly suifuel, because it confirms I will likely die a lonely virgin. Thanks for your words of support though.

Do you plan to get surgery for your mandible after uni?
It will make a huge difference.

I plan to get it next summer, it's too late now that uni has already started.

 

[FaceandHFD]

My rational brain already knows all this. My emotional brain cares about what my rational brain thinks only slightly.

Also, if teenage boys view me as some object of comparison to feel better about themselves, it's honestly suifuel, because it confirms I will likely die a lonely virgin. Thanks for your words of support though.

I plan to get it next summer, it's too late now that uni has already started.

Nice. Does your skull look as bad as this btw?

 

[Mainländer]

What were you fearing exactly? You aren't deformed, just a bit ugly.


Sounds like something disabled and deformed people must hear one time a week from their educators and therapists... The reality is that the brain will always care... Even people with Down syndrome must feel like dying when someone mocks them. I knew a 30-something woman with several disabilities, and despite years of psychotherapy, she was still anxious in public and full of insecurities.

I guess that behavior stemmed from years of bullying + unfamiliar academic environment. I didn't fear anything specific, only instahated everyone pretty much because I didn't want to be there.

I remember also seeing the schedule of classes and desperately thinking "holy fuck, all of this? I'll have to spend that much time here"?

 

[Fontaine]

Nice. Does your skull look as bad as this btw?
View attachment 48487

It looks very similar to this.

 

[FaceandHFD]

It looks very similar to this.

RIP bro, I understand your anxiety now.
I have a slightly recessed and narrow lower third and a big hook nose(that doesn't project too much fortunately). Definitely in the bottom 10%. Have been locked sometimes too before I gymcelled.
This anxiety never goes away.

 

[Fontaine]

RIP bro, I understand your anxiety now.

The worst part is that every adult I know pretends my skull is normal. I think I want at least several plastic surgeon opinions before my death, to confirm I didn't obsess all my life about something imaginary. One thing is certain, I once measured my skull perimeter with a tape ruler and it's on the higher range.

I have a slightly recessed and narrow lower third and a big hook nose(that doesn't project too much fortunately). Definitely in the bottom 10%. Have been locked sometimes too before I gymcelled.
This anxiety never goes away.

It never does.

 

[Anger]

No i´m not tbh i finally managed to lowinhibidmaxx to the point i just don´t care what they say tbh but everyone just ignore me for real so i don´t feel in danger or anxious about my looks

 

[Deleted member 5861]

I fear that some group of low inhib youths will notice my deformities and mock me

Instead of shoes, theyre laughing at your face

 

[SOCIALSUICIDE]

Mandible deformity and dolicocephaly.

 

[Deleted member 14490]

As already stated, mandible deformity and skull deformity (dolicocephaly). I also have two other ones hidden by clothes (sternum deformity and very low BMI).

As to the reason I didn't get these deformities surgically fixed: beats me. My parents didn't want to help me do it (they think I am normal and "handsome" kek), my family doctor acted oblivious to them, and I then developed some kind of learned helplessness about the whole shebang.

It's over man.

 

[1984cel]

I can relate with deformed skin. I’m NEET, but leaving the house for groceries or an errand always reinforces how over it is. Someone always gives me a look of disgust.

 

[mylifeistrash]

The saddest part is that I almost never experience mockery or staring. I am paranoid about it, so I always triple-check all people's faces in my FOV to read subtle hints of a mockery/staring process in its beginning. 99.5% of the time, people look at me only one millisecond and get immediately back to their business like nothing happened.

And yet sometimes it happens. I have no idea why some people get particularly triggered by the sight of my deformities - they are less than 1 in a hundred, nearly always teenage boys. This rare occurrence is what makes me paranoid.

no one gives a shit tbh, you're just invisible like most non-chads

 

[GeneticFilth]

I can relate with deformed skin. I’m NEET, but leaving the house for groceries or an errand always reinforces how over it is. Someone always gives me a look of disgust.

I also have deformed skin. The skin is the largest and most important organ in the body, so if anything is wrong with it it's on display and signals to everyone your an ugly genetic trash abomination that deserves to suffer.

 

[Gaban1]

Youre exactly like me. I cope by going into hiding where there are as little people as possible. also I only have to be there twice a week.

 

[Sparrow's Song]

As already stated, mandible deformity and skull deformity (dolicocephaly). I also have two other ones hidden by clothes (sternum deformity and very low BMI).

As to the reason I didn't get these deformities surgically fixed: beats me. My parents didn't want to help me do it (they think I am normal and "handsome" kek), my family doctor acted oblivious to them, and I then developed some kind of learned helplessness about the whole shebang.

A major cause of inceldom is parents thing their sons are aren't ugly and failing to get them the help they need before it's too late. When my mom got pregnant it was supposed to be impossible for her to get pregnant, she should have known an incel baby was coming.