I was recently speaking with my - below average IQ - grandma and she obviously got no idea how shit it is to be a Gen Z man in 2024, let alone a 25 yo virgin with no friends. She lives in a different timeline or something, has no understanding of reality.
Obviously the repeated shit questions came up again "When will I marry"; "Why I dont have a girlfriend"; "How my future worklife will be like" etc. Basically questions that I really can only answer with either "Never" or "I dont know that yet".
So eventually she got furious because she has little to no understanding for my position (she never had internet or left her house in the past 5 years since her husband had become beyond Biden level dement).
Then she was asking something that I literally couldn't answer: "What are your goals? LIKE YOU MUST HAVE SOME AMBITION OR GOAL IN LIFE, RIGHT?!"
And while, yes, i technically do have them such as a loving, traditional, loyal girlfriend, a decent car, a well paying easy job and a house of my own - I know most of these things basically became unreachable or are simply not real anymore.
And in that split moment I was thinking hard, about what I could archive and what i had archived. I thought about the long years I played the guitar, about the thousands of hours I put into video games to reach certain virtual archivements, about all the art contests I took part in, when I became the best programmer in class, the hundreds of hours and dollars I put into the gym, when i was in a breakdance team in early high school, when i made profit but also losses day trading forex, i was thinking about ex hobbies like trampoline, entomology, chemistry etc. but ultimately of all the things ive done, all the friends and enemies i had, all that ive ever said has let me...to this...very...moment - to my Goals.
And honestly? I don't have any. Any ones that are real.
And its not like what certain motivational trainers would say now like "trying something new" or "finding yourself" but tbh i already did.
I know what I want - I actually want nothing.
I dont have these great ambitions like some people like Einstein who wanted to find the 'God equation' or Hitler who was so hellbound on eradicating a certain group of people and take over the world or what most Gen Z douches these days want: Social Media famous and Cryptorich.
Ever since i was 14 I became Nihilistic, nothing matters and the pointlessness of existence.
I dont hate anyone, that said, I dont love anyone either. I cant really stand humans, ive just been used and abused to much that I would not have evolved this misantrophic thinking. Probably one of the main attributes that make me unattractive in girls eyes.
A main reason I also simply cant even think of a particulary goal is, that all the 'goals' that other people have are not even goals for me.
Like winning some sports trophy or going to a Taylor Swift concert where you spend thousands to get into the VIP section, get 10000 followers on Tiktok to make money spamming badly made AI short videos to brainwash kids into scrolling your profile content, getting to play game XYZ with your favorite streamer "Pokimane" for 60 minutes or meeting some random nobody like idk Christiano Ronaldo.
Obviously i need money, but really all I do with it is pay bills. Right?
I really could give less of a shit of making a "career" it ultimately doesnt matter what shit job it is as long as it covers these bills.
Im not someone who devotes his life to a coorp, nor do I want to start a Business of my own, i dont intent to archive immortality, neither am i the guy who finds the cure to cancer.
So far my goal is simply to survive - even tho thats more a state of mind than a goal, as i wouldnt mind dying either.
So, what are your goals?
And if you have them, why do you?
Obviously the repeated shit questions came up again "When will I marry"; "Why I dont have a girlfriend"; "How my future worklife will be like" etc. Basically questions that I really can only answer with either "Never" or "I dont know that yet".
So eventually she got furious because she has little to no understanding for my position (she never had internet or left her house in the past 5 years since her husband had become beyond Biden level dement).
Then she was asking something that I literally couldn't answer: "What are your goals? LIKE YOU MUST HAVE SOME AMBITION OR GOAL IN LIFE, RIGHT?!"
And while, yes, i technically do have them such as a loving, traditional, loyal girlfriend, a decent car, a well paying easy job and a house of my own - I know most of these things basically became unreachable or are simply not real anymore.
And in that split moment I was thinking hard, about what I could archive and what i had archived. I thought about the long years I played the guitar, about the thousands of hours I put into video games to reach certain virtual archivements, about all the art contests I took part in, when I became the best programmer in class, the hundreds of hours and dollars I put into the gym, when i was in a breakdance team in early high school, when i made profit but also losses day trading forex, i was thinking about ex hobbies like trampoline, entomology, chemistry etc. but ultimately of all the things ive done, all the friends and enemies i had, all that ive ever said has let me...to this...very...moment - to my Goals.
And honestly? I don't have any. Any ones that are real.
And its not like what certain motivational trainers would say now like "trying something new" or "finding yourself" but tbh i already did.
I know what I want - I actually want nothing.
I dont have these great ambitions like some people like Einstein who wanted to find the 'God equation' or Hitler who was so hellbound on eradicating a certain group of people and take over the world or what most Gen Z douches these days want: Social Media famous and Cryptorich.
Ever since i was 14 I became Nihilistic, nothing matters and the pointlessness of existence.
I dont hate anyone, that said, I dont love anyone either. I cant really stand humans, ive just been used and abused to much that I would not have evolved this misantrophic thinking. Probably one of the main attributes that make me unattractive in girls eyes.
A main reason I also simply cant even think of a particulary goal is, that all the 'goals' that other people have are not even goals for me.
Like winning some sports trophy or going to a Taylor Swift concert where you spend thousands to get into the VIP section, get 10000 followers on Tiktok to make money spamming badly made AI short videos to brainwash kids into scrolling your profile content, getting to play game XYZ with your favorite streamer "Pokimane" for 60 minutes or meeting some random nobody like idk Christiano Ronaldo.
Obviously i need money, but really all I do with it is pay bills. Right?
I really could give less of a shit of making a "career" it ultimately doesnt matter what shit job it is as long as it covers these bills.
Im not someone who devotes his life to a coorp, nor do I want to start a Business of my own, i dont intent to archive immortality, neither am i the guy who finds the cure to cancer.
So far my goal is simply to survive - even tho thats more a state of mind than a goal, as i wouldnt mind dying either.
So, what are your goals?
And if you have them, why do you?
