Venting Leaving the house as an autist is hell

[ScornedStoic]

Every interaction, every look. It's all hell. I always stick out like an imposter in a flashy costume or something. I don't have any normal demeanor or anything it's so hard for me to blend in the background, and any time people see me, make eye contact with me or talk to me (only cashiers lel) they can tell I'm a freak. I fucking hate it.

My entire life has felt like a spy movie, trying to be seen by as least people as possible

 

[jackwolfskin999]

I always fantasized about having the power to be invisible

 

[ScornedStoic]

I always fantasized about having the power to be invisible

God me too right?

 

[LastGerman]

You can hide yourself at the gym to hit it brutally.

 

[Oedipus]

13-18 my autism was so debilitating, I had 0 friends (still do have 0 friends tbh), but I didn’t interact with people AT ALL. I was practically Adam Lanza LARPing.

 

[jackwolfskin999]

You can hide yourself at the gym to hit it brutally.

going to the gym was utter hell for me I'm so glad I stopped

 

[LastGerman]

going to the gym was utter hell for me I'm so glad I stopped

You have to turn the gym into your new home. Turn the gym into hell for all other people there.

 

[KingOfRome]

You have to turn the gym into your new home. Turn the gym into hell for all other people there.

>mfw my home is my gym

 

[GeneticFilth]

Cope, you're just ugly. Do you honestly think if you woke up and looked like this you would still feel this way.

Average looking guy

 

[ScornedStoic]

Cope, you're just ugly. Do you honestly think if you woke up and looked like this you would still feel this way.

Average looking guy

No, you're wrong. Not everything is face'n'race.

 

[GeneticFilth]

No, you're wrong. Not everything is face'n'race.

Type in girlfriend in r/autism and dating with autism in youtube. All these aspies live normal lives because they aren't ugly.

 

[Deleted member 11159]

I feel like that too. I had to go clothes shopping yesterday and I got so overwhelmed by the amount of people that were there. I thought everyone was looking at me. I couldn't walk properly and I started sweating really badly until I left.
I've never been diagnosed with anything but this can't be how a normal person acts, right?
There has to be something wrong with me.

 

[GeneticFilth]

I feel like that too. I had to go clothes shopping yesterday and I got so overwhelmed by the amount of people that were there. I thought everyone was looking at me. I couldn't walk properly and I started sweating really badly until I left.
I've never been diagnosed with anything but this can't be how a normal person acts, right?
There has to be something wrong with me.

Yes, it's called you're ugly.

 

[Deleted member 11159]

Yes, it's called you're ugly.

There are plenty of ugly guys who don't act like autists.

 

[ScornedStoic]

Type in girlfriend in r/autism and dating with autism in youtube. All these aspies live normal lives because they aren't ugly.

They're rping. How many autists have you actually known? I've known tons, through special ed rooms and other students with individualized education plans, my parents and their parents meeting etc. Not one of them could date. I even knew a female autist who was incel (it's ridiculously rare but yes, I've witnessed it at least once). You and so many others have no idea what you're talking about. The word has been so diluted and the diagnosis so overapplied that so many people think they know autism when they don't. Autism is absolutely fatal regardless of looks, unless you're gigacgad in literally every other way and even then you'll only live the life of a normie.

I feel like that too. I had to go clothes shopping yesterday and I got so overwhelmed by the amount of people that were there. I thought everyone was looking at me. I couldn't walk properly and I started sweating really badly until I left.
I've never been diagnosed with anything but this can't be how a normal person acts, right?
There has to be something wrong with me.

That sounds a lot like me tbh. Ignore @GeneticFilth you may be on to something

 

[GeneticFilth]

There are plenty of ugly guys who don't act like autists.

Where are they? Look at egg white and Ice poseidon. They are both diagnosed with autism and they are low inhib do to being tallfags and having good lower thirds.

 

[jackwolfskin999]

Where are they? Look at egg white and Ice poseidon. They are both diagnosed with autism and they are low inhib do to being tallfags and having good lower thirds.

ugly plays a role(if I was gl this would probably be cured) but I dont know any other ugly person that has as bad anxiety as me outside and its been this way since I was a kid and wasnt insecure about my looks so something else makes it worse

I feel like that too. I had to go clothes shopping yesterday and I got so overwhelmed by the amount of people that were there. I thought everyone was looking at me. I couldn't walk properly and I started sweating really badly until I left.
I've never been diagnosed with anything but this can't be how a normal person acts, right?
There has to be something wrong with me.

I dont think I have autisim but theres differently must be something odd about my head I feel like another species

 

[GeneticFilth]

They're rping. How many autists have you actually known? I've known tons, through special ed rooms and other students with individualized education plans, my parents and their parents meeting etc. Not one of them could date. I even knew a female autist who was incel (it's ridiculously rare but yes, I've witnessed it at least once). You and so many others have no idea what you're talking about. The word has been so diluted and the diagnosis so overapplied that so many people think they know autism when they don't. Autism is absolutely fatal regardless of looks, unless you're gigacgad in literally every other way and even then you'll only live the life of a normie.

That sounds a lot like me tbh. Ignore @GeneticFilth you may be on to something

Yes, I knew aspies and they had girlfriends. They had a teacher aid with them.

 

[GeneticDysfunction]

Yes, it's called you're ugly.

 

[GeneticFilth]

ugly plays a role(if I was gl this would probably be cured) but I dont know any other ugly person that has as bad anxiety as me outside and its been this way since I was a kid and wasnt insecure about my looks so something else makes it worse


I dont think I have autisim but theres differently must be something odd about my head I feel like another species

If you were even average looking you would be cured. If any attractive person woke up and became facially ugly and a manlet they would become basement dweller shut ins with anxiety. You're probably the ugliest out of everyone so you had the most anxiety. Even if you're not insecure about your looks your brain will give you anxiety telling you it's over. Put a tall attractive chad in a group where everyone is way taller and better looking than him and he will have anxiety.

 

[jackwolfskin999]

If you were even average looking you would be cured. If any attractive person woke up and became facially ugly and a manlet they would become basement dweller shut ins with anxiety. You're probably the ugliest out of everyone so you had the most anxiety. Even if you're not insecure about your looks your brain will give you anxiety telling you it's over. Put a tall attractive chad in a group where everyone is way taller and better looking than him and he will have anxiety.

you're probably right about now but as a kid like age 8-12 I wasnt super ugly compared to other class mates and had even worse anxiety than I do now(and I'm uglier now) social anxiety can be a thing like a phobia that effects some more than others even if looks are the same maybe I'm coping

 

[ThouShallObeyKing]

Every interaction, every look. It's all hell. I always stick out like an imposter in a flashy costume or something. I don't have any normal demeanor or anything it's so hard for me to blend in the background, and any time people see me, make eye contact with me or talk to me (only cashiers lel) they can tell I'm a freak. I fucking hate it.

My entire life has felt like a spy movie, trying to be seen by as least people as possible

i dont mind if people see me, but in this area I do, because people here bullied me and i stopped saying hi to them and their families and i wish them bad secretly

 

[97_rdd_systemd]

around 14 i completely lost the ability to hold a conversation with anyone, i think its because i realized that nobody will realize im a sperg so long as i keep my mouth shut

all i knew about at the time (and still do) was music theory, games that were considered more hardcore/nerdy (WoW, csgo, planetside, etc, almost nobody played those and the few that did weren't really that into it) and tech shit/programming

I was really just kind of known as that guy who was good with computers

I was pretty short (like 5'0/95lbs) but you really couldn't get under my skin so I just kind of faded into the background

Now (7 years later) I've essentially memorized correct behaviors/responses to certain bullshit in the day to day [forcefully inflecting my voice and whatnot] and can now pass as relatively normal. Usually nobody knows there's something wrong with me or rather they just think I'm quiet/shy until they get to know me a little better, but I've worked hard and I'd say that i earned that.

Basically just give short answers and let them guide the conversation and feel like you're actually exaggerating every gesture or vocal inflection and it comes off as normal. Make an active effort to look into their eyes and basically do not take them off them unless you think its reasonable to be distracted (basically whenever they'd get distracted), nobody thinks there's anything wrong with me at all anymore. Its great.