I've been thinking about it and I don't want a wife or kids. I don't want anything else either, I just seem to not want or like anything in life.

[Deleted member 7448]

I do want a relationship for a few months to get all this out of my system - love, sex, cuddling, intimacy, affection etc... and then just be done with this whole incel business and never obsess about women or sex again. But that's neither here nor there, not what this thread is about.

I thought about it and I don't want that life, the life of having a wife. Or having kids. It's just not what I want out of life. It's not even about the lack of freedom or how much energy and money it takes, it's not that. It's just not what I want, not at all. It's not even close to what I want from life.

And here's where my anhedonic/depressed brain that's been this way for many years screws me yet again. I don't actually know what I want in life. I know what I don't want. I know I don't want a wife and kids. I don't want to wageslave for decades. But I don't really have a goal in this life, something I want. Really, I keep thinking about it and it would be such a relief to just go to sleep and never wake up again, but I just keep waking up alive and a new day starts.

I sound like a broken record but because I don't seem to want anything from life, because I don't like or enjoy anything, because I don't have a goal or something, I keep searching and fantasizing about a skill/interest/hobby/talent that would be fulfilling, that I could enjoy and invest effort into for years and actually do something, be someone. But that's not it, I realize now that's not what I actually want. I just seem to want this because I've searched for so long and haven't found this "interest" that I'm looking for, and I never will. And so my brain keeps bringing it up, haunting me with this idea, so it would avoid the true answer: I really don't want anything or like anything. The brain keeps bringing this up because the alternative is that truly I'll just keep living for 40 or 50 more years and I'll be in this state of being unfulfilled, of feeling the need for something more to life but never actually finding what I want. At least if there was something I wanted to work towards, but no, I just don't want or like anything.

And unfortunately this isn't just my depression or anhedonia talking. I was like this even before those started, though since it's been so long and I've been depressed during my formative years, my brain has been influenced by it. I just genuinely am a person who doesn't like anything, isn't interesting in anything. So not a wife, not kids, nothing is my goal or how I want to live my life. I just don't seem to want anything. Wish I could just disappear but that won't happen, so I'll feel this gaping void inside me, this unfulfilled need for ... something more to life, something I don't know what. I'll keep being like this, with this feeling that there has to be more to life, feeling incomplete and unsatisfied and unfulfilled for so many more years.

 

[Justdone]

But you don’t want to die you want your copes and to enjoy those copes without like wageslaving but don’t ya have to get a job soon but normies can try to see that ya lack work and life experience so you have to lie to them or else be homeless

 

[Deleted member 7448]

But you don’t want to die you want your copes and to enjoy those copes without like wageslaving but don’t ya have to get a job soon but normies can try to see that ya lack work and life experience so you have to lie to them or else be homeless

No, my point is that I do want to disappear because I have no copes. I don't want to wageslave, true, I hate it, but either way I don't have any copes that I could just do in my free time and enjoy myself. There is nothing, that's my point, I don't like anything, no interests, no copes. All I did in my life was browse the internet and watch TV because I don't like anything at all. I don't even like doing those things but they're just the minimum you can do other than being asleep. Even when I did force myself to try things to maybe eventually develop an interest, I never did, I liked nothing. Not even a dopamine detox made me like things, I just don't have an interest in anything at all. I just don't like life in general, it's not my cup of tea.

 

[grondilu]

taedum vitae strikes again

https://incels.is/threads/everything-is-just-so-pointless.265497/post-6073507

 

[radishman]

Honestly even as a bluepilled cuck I never actually fantasized about kids or marriage. It was always just a loving foid to call my own. I mostly got that with my doll, but can't imagine being a faggot yearning to be a husband LMAO.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

taedum vitae strikes again

https://incels.is/threads/everything-is-just-so-pointless.265497/post-6073507

Yep, and I'm not even coming at it from a philosophical point of view or anything. That's just how I feel about life and always have. Can't change it no matter how much I want to.

 

[Cope_Time]

Can relate, I could build copes, but, because of lack of motivation, everything is torture, and growing up is making this only worse. In the meantime, Chad spend his life in streets, he can't even stay at home, we're truly living in a different world.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Can relate, I could build copes, but, because of lack of motivation, everything is torture, and growing up is making this only worse. In the meantime, Chad spend his life in streets, he can't even stay at home, we're truly living in a different world.

Sorry you feel that way mate, hope you can improve your situation. Hey, that's good news actually, you CAN build copes. I can't, I literally don't see anything worth doing no matter how hard I try to find such a thing. So that's good news mate, you have a certain goal, something that can help you cope.

 

[Gyros_Pretcel]

Optimally I would just die in my sleep.

 

[horseshoe]

Rather have hair

 

[dirtykombatcel]

Your first post that was very relatable, literally hit the nail on everything. Perfect description of what's going on with me as well.

Even in my formative years as a kid, when none of this women/love/sex shit was going on, I still had this feeling that I'll never like or be into anything. Everything has always been just a distraction from the real truth, that this world has nothing to offer us as it is.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Your first post that was very relatable, literally hit the nail on everything. Perfect description of what's going on with me as well.

Even in my formative years as a kid, when none of this women/love/sex shit was going on, I still had this feeling that I'll never like or be into anything. Everything has always been just a distraction from the real truth, that this world has nothing to offer us as it is.

Yep, and it's so weird that few people get this. It seems like 99.99% of people do not feel this way at all. Even most depressed people don't feel like this, at least not for long. And yet we felt like this our whole lives, weird.

 

[Haywire]

ngl a nice foid to use would be nice. having a kid seems like too much work.

 

[Deleted member 26528]

Incredibly relatable. I also never really desired anything. Like most of the 'copes' I have atm is just to make my parents happy so they don't see me as an useless sack of shit. I'm wasting my time at uni even though I'm 2 years away from completing my degree. But as for getting a job related to my degree? Nope. Getting a job here is all about relations. I have none. I don't even talk to anyone. Most probably end up neeting and living off government benefits.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Incredibly relatable. I also never really desired anything. Like most of the 'copes' I have atm is just to make my parents happy so they don't see me as an useless sack of shit. I'm wasting my time at uni even though I'm 2 years away from completing my degree. But as for getting a job related to my degree? Nope. Getting a job here is all about relations. I have none. I don't even talk to anyone. Most probably end up neeting and living off government benefits.

Haha, almost word for word the same shit. I spent 7 years in total in uni (dropped out after 2 cause of depression/anhedonia that lead to alcoholism and ruining my life, long story). And then I reenrolled and even got a master's degree (means nothing, not only in this shit country but a meme social science degree to boot, so totally useless), to make my parents happy (although I already destroyed their happiness by dropping out from the good country and ruining my life and theirs with my alcoholism, at least I stopped but it was too late).

Same with the job, I'm the most avoidant and introverted person around, so I have 0 connections, and that's what this country is all about. Can't wipe your ass without connections around here. My dad tried to use his connections to get me a good job but he couldn't, I was unhireable apparently, even by using big favors. Too bad there's no neetbux in my country though, not an option, gonna have to wageslave a really shit job.

 

[cvh1991]

I do want a relationship for a few months to get all this out of my system - love, sex, cuddling, intimacy, affection etc... and then just be done with this whole incel business and never obsess about women or sex again. But that's neither here nor there, not what this thread is about.

I thought about it and I don't want that life, the life of having a wife. Or having kids. It's just not what I want out of life. It's not even about the lack of freedom or how much energy and money it takes, it's not that. It's just not what I want, not at all. It's not even close to what I want from life.

And here's where my anhedonic/depressed brain that's been this way for many years screws me yet again. I don't actually know what I want in life. I know what I don't want. I know I don't want a wife and kids. I don't want to wageslave for decades. But I don't really have a goal in this life, something I want. Really, I keep thinking about it and it would be such a relief to just go to sleep and never wake up again, but I just keep waking up alive and a new day starts.

I sound like a broken record but because I don't seem to want anything from life, because I don't like or enjoy anything, because I don't have a goal or something, I keep searching and fantasizing about a skill/interest/hobby/talent that would be fulfilling, that I could enjoy and invest effort into for years and actually do something, be someone. But that's not it, I realize now that's not what I actually want. I just seem to want this because I've searched for so long and haven't found this "interest" that I'm looking for, and I never will. And so my brain keeps bringing it up, haunting me with this idea, so it would avoid the true answer: I really don't want anything or like anything. The brain keeps bringing this up because the alternative is that truly I'll just keep living for 40 or 50 more years and I'll be in this state of being unfulfilled, of feeling the need for something more to life but never actually finding what I want. At least if there was something I wanted to work towards, but no, I just don't want or like anything.

And unfortunately this isn't just my depression or anhedonia talking. I was like this even before those started, though since it's been so long and I've been depressed during my formative years, my brain has been influenced by it. I just genuinely am a person who doesn't like anything, isn't interesting in anything. So not a wife, not kids, nothing is my goal or how I want to live my life. I just don't seem to want anything. Wish I could just disappear but that won't happen, so I'll feel this gaping void inside me, this unfulfilled need for ... something more to life, something I don't know what. I'll keep being like this, with this feeling that there has to be more to life, feeling incomplete and unsatisfied and unfulfilled for so many more years.

I want money because I need housing, food, internet, and entertainment.

Getting money is the big hurdle as wage slaying makes life not worth living pretty much.

 

[Cope_Time]

Sorry you feel that way mate, hope you can improve your situation. Hey, that's good news actually, you CAN build copes. I can't, I literally don't see anything worth doing no matter how hard I try to find such a thing. So that's good news mate, you have a certain goal, something that can help you cope.

Looks like you've reached rock bottom levels of Nihilism, I hope you can fix your brain.

 

[Emba]

My condolences

 

[InMyCellInHell]

I do want a relationship for a few months to get all this out of my system - love, sex, cuddling, intimacy, affection etc... and then just be done with this whole incel business and never obsess about women or sex again. But that's neither here nor there, not what this thread is about.

I thought about it and I don't want that life, the life of having a wife. Or having kids. It's just not what I want out of life. It's not even about the lack of freedom or how much energy and money it takes, it's not that. It's just not what I want, not at all. It's not even close to what I want from life.

And here's where my anhedonic/depressed brain that's been this way for many years screws me yet again. I don't actually know what I want in life. I know what I don't want. I know I don't want a wife and kids. I don't want to wageslave for decades. But I don't really have a goal in this life, something I want. Really, I keep thinking about it and it would be such a relief to just go to sleep and never wake up again, but I just keep waking up alive and a new day starts.

I sound like a broken record but because I don't seem to want anything from life, because I don't like or enjoy anything, because I don't have a goal or something, I keep searching and fantasizing about a skill/interest/hobby/talent that would be fulfilling, that I could enjoy and invest effort into for years and actually do something, be someone. But that's not it, I realize now that's not what I actually want. I just seem to want this because I've searched for so long and haven't found this "interest" that I'm looking for, and I never will. And so my brain keeps bringing it up, haunting me with this idea, so it would avoid the true answer: I really don't want anything or like anything. The brain keeps bringing this up because the alternative is that truly I'll just keep living for 40 or 50 more years and I'll be in this state of being unfulfilled, of feeling the need for something more to life but never actually finding what I want. At least if there was something I wanted to work towards, but no, I just don't want or like anything.

And unfortunately this isn't just my depression or anhedonia talking. I was like this even before those started, though since it's been so long and I've been depressed during my formative years, my brain has been influenced by it. I just genuinely am a person who doesn't like anything, isn't interesting in anything. So not a wife, not kids, nothing is my goal or how I want to live my life. I just don't seem to want anything. Wish I could just disappear but that won't happen, so I'll feel this gaping void inside me, this unfulfilled need for ... something more to life, something I don't know what. I'll keep being like this, with this feeling that there has to be more to life, feeling incomplete and unsatisfied and unfulfilled for so many more years.

I just don't want to drag more lives into my miserable one.

 

[kt0_0]

I don’t want or need anything except death.

 

[Deleted member 34772]

No, my point is that I do want to disappear because I have no copes. I don't want to wageslave, true, I hate it, but either way I don't have any copes that I could just do in my free time and enjoy myself. There is nothing, that's my point, I don't like anything, no interests, no copes. All I did in my life was browse the internet and watch TV because I don't like anything at all. I don't even like doing those things but they're just the minimum you can do other than being asleep. Even when I did force myself to try things to maybe eventually develop an interest, I never did, I liked nothing. Not even a dopamine detox made me like things, I just don't have an interest in anything at all. I just don't like life in general, it's not my cup of tea.

Do MDMA

 

[meatball]

I do want a relationship for a few months to get all this out of my system - love, sex, cuddling, intimacy, affection etc... and then just be done with this whole incel business and never obsess about women or sex again. But that's neither here nor there, not what this thread is about.

I thought about it and I don't want that life, the life of having a wife. Or having kids. It's just not what I want out of life. It's not even about the lack of freedom or how much energy and money it takes, it's not that. It's just not what I want, not at all. It's not even close to what I want from life.

And here's where my anhedonic/depressed brain that's been this way for many years screws me yet again. I don't actually know what I want in life. I know what I don't want. I know I don't want a wife and kids. I don't want to wageslave for decades. But I don't really have a goal in this life, something I want. Really, I keep thinking about it and it would be such a relief to just go to sleep and never wake up again, but I just keep waking up alive and a new day starts.

I sound like a broken record but because I don't seem to want anything from life, because I don't like or enjoy anything, because I don't have a goal or something, I keep searching and fantasizing about a skill/interest/hobby/talent that would be fulfilling, that I could enjoy and invest effort into for years and actually do something, be someone. But that's not it, I realize now that's not what I actually want. I just seem to want this because I've searched for so long and haven't found this "interest" that I'm looking for, and I never will. And so my brain keeps bringing it up, haunting me with this idea, so it would avoid the true answer: I really don't want anything or like anything. The brain keeps bringing this up because the alternative is that truly I'll just keep living for 40 or 50 more years and I'll be in this state of being unfulfilled, of feeling the need for something more to life but never actually finding what I want. At least if there was something I wanted to work towards, but no, I just don't want or like anything.

And unfortunately this isn't just my depression or anhedonia talking. I was like this even before those started, though since it's been so long and I've been depressed during my formative years, my brain has been influenced by it. I just genuinely am a person who doesn't like anything, isn't interesting in anything. So not a wife, not kids, nothing is my goal or how I want to live my life. I just don't seem to want anything. Wish I could just disappear but that won't happen, so I'll feel this gaping void inside me, this unfulfilled need for ... something more to life, something I don't know what. I'll keep being like this, with this feeling that there has to be more to life, feeling incomplete and unsatisfied and unfulfilled for so many more years.

Wage slaving for decades.

Wow, that sounds really really bad