Venting I've been having an increasingly harder time being outside/around people lately (blogpost)

[Deleted member 17724]

When I go outside and someone is walking in front of me, I try to get away from them as soon as possible. I avert my face from whomever I see out of fear being looked at (not because I think I'm ugly facially but I just don't want to be looked at in general). I just can't deal being around strangers anymore.

I've been thinking I may actually have some sort of mental disorder, even though my mental state wasn't always this bad, but that I just managed to repress it in my youth due to the environment I grew up in forcing me to be somewhat social. I won't ever get diagnosed though because I can't get NEETbux from it anyway, all it would mean is that people would never take me serious anymore because they see me as retarded which would be much worse than people just thinking I'm very introverted.

The worst part about this is that I actually really like going outside. As in, I like being in nature and breathing in the fresh air and observing the scenery but because I live in one of the most densely-populated areas in the world, there's no way I can escape people if I leave my house. The only real escape from the pressures of human interaction is my room and that is where I'm pretty much forced to reside in my free time because there are no other options. The forests are always full of packs of elderly people or married couples with children. There's no wild piece of nature that I can relax in.

Ironically, my mental state when it came to these things used to be a bit better when I was addicted to masturbation in my teens. I was in this hyper-stoic state of not caring about anything at all times which made me immune to anxiety of this kind. Of course, going back to that kind of habit would not help in the slightest because in turn it would bring back all the other horrible side-effects that I no longer have to deal with because of intermediate NoFap sessions.

 

[Over4Mexicels]

We should move to rural areas

 

[littlemanhikicel]

I'm going outside wearing sun glasses. People evade me more than showing my adam lanza stare.
And I evade ppl, for example last week a pack of foids were walking in front of me in the distance and I move to the other side of the street.
It's like a video game.So I avoid bad experiences that ruin my day or the whole week.

 

[Deleted member 18912]

I'm going outside wearing sun glasses. People evade me more than showing my adam lanza stare.
And I evade ppl, for example last week a pack of foids were walking in front of me in the distance and I move to the other side of the street.
It's like a video game.So I avoid bad experiences that ruin my day or the whole week.

Or one horrible incident that may ruin your whole year.
Yeah, its best to avoid it at all costs.

 

[Izayacel]

people are trash i always keep that in my mind when i need to operate outside

do only that whats needs to be done and quick

 

[littlemanhikicel]

Or one horrible incident that may ruin your whole year.
Yeah, its best to avoid it at all costs.

I constantly ruminate even for old things, I usually go out to buy some video game and make the purchase of the super market and still see and live unpleasant things.

 

[starystulejarz]

We should move to rural areas

and shoot at the planes like Ted Kaczynski

 

[Justdone]

When I go outside and someone is walking in front of me, I try to get away from them as soon as possible. I avert my face from whomever I see out of fear being looked at (not because I think I'm ugly facially but I just don't want to be looked at in general). I just can't deal being around strangers anymore.

I've been thinking I may actually have some sort of mental disorder, even though my mental state wasn't always this bad, but that I just managed to repress it in my youth due to the environment I grew up in forcing me to be somewhat social. I won't ever get diagnosed though because I can't get NEETbux from it anyway, all it would mean is that people would never take me serious anymore because they see me as retarded which would be much worse than people just thinking I'm very introverted.

The worst part about this is that I actually really like going outside. As in, I like being in nature and breathing in the fresh air and observing the scenery but because I live in one of the most densely-populated areas in the world, there's no way I can escape people if I leave my house. The only real escape from the pressures of human interaction is my room and that is where I'm pretty much forced to reside in my free time because there are no other options. The forests are always full of packs of elderly people or married couples with children. There's no wild piece of nature that I can relax in.

Ironically, my mental state when it came to these things used to be a bit better when I was addicted to masturbation in my teens. I was in this hyper-stoic state of not caring about anything at all times which made me immune to anxiety of this kind. Of course, going back to that kind of habit would not help in the slightest because in turn it would bring back all the other horrible side-effects that I no longer have to deal with because of intermediate NoFap sessions.

You have or had moderate acne or something like that? That’s the result of having acne for +3 years and then losing most of it. I use to wear a face mask over my lower face a lot. Your mental state sounds like it’s getting affected by isolation from no one interacting with ya.

 

[Deleted member 17724]

We should move to rural areas

There's basically no real rural areas anymore here because of the population density, they are so close to the cities/towns that it's basically the same shit.

I'm going outside wearing sun glasses. People evade me more than showing my adam lanza stare.
And I evade ppl, for example last week a pack of foids were walking in front of me in the distance and I move to the other side of the street.
It's like a video game.So I avoid bad experiences that ruin my day or the whole week.

One of the few good things about summer is the ability to wear sunglasses, it helped a lot with my anxiety because I no longer have to avoid eye-contact.

people are trash i always keep that in my mind when i need to operate outside

do only that whats needs to be done and quick

I have to go outside because I go to college, I'm not a NEET or anything like that. I stay inside at all times unless I have to already but that's not enough for my taste.

You have or had moderate acne or something like that? That’s the result of having acne for +3 years and then losing most of it. I use to wear a face mask over my lower face a lot. Your mental state sounds like it’s getting affected by isolation from no one interacting with ya.

I did have acne and still have some issues with it plus acne-scars but I'm not self-conscious about it.
And yes, my mental state is probably worsened a lot by socially isolating myself but I can't do much about that, I have nothing in common with people my age so I can't and don't really want to make friends. Still, I engage a lot in formal interaction so it's not like I don't speak with people at all.

 

[needsolution]

We should move to rural areas