i’ve been doing it for a long while now “sober”. i have no energy other than to rot away but as i’m getting older rotter vertigo is really starting to take a toll, i can’t say i’ve tried to resolve that by being hyperlucid of foreign affirmative compulses or tolerance rhetoric whatsoever and unbarred shapeless inlets regressing the physicality of symptomatic purpose of a recreation blatantly or otherwise, not that i was even interested. maybe rarely i’ll get up to tend to some tasks but for the most part no my sobriety for this awareness can’t be recuperated. being an awake vegetable in the daylight reminds me of basically failing all that has to do with blending in consistently enough outside so i probably wanted to screw the normal routine up to easily force my body and mind to be dissociatively hectic for when i’m awake since that’s the only endurable oasis i’ve known