This is why the usual advice of just be confident is pathetic because as we all know unless someone is either actually physically doing something to clearly show how confident they are or doing something to show how they are unconfident e.g. walking around staring at the ground crying, nobody can actually tell how confident someone is and certainly not to the extent that it would change their attractiveness.
More valid advice is therefore to tell someone to be more OUTGOING and I think a lot of people get these words mixed up. I have seen average and below guys get some relative success by being low inhibition and being more outgoing. The problem with this however is that if you know you don't physically meet the standards through years of experience then you know that being outgoing is going to bring more attention to you and in 99% of cases the end result of this is going to be a disgusted reaction by women. It's like putting an item in the shop window when you know people are not going to like it. On the other hand someone who knows they are good enough physically will have no problem with this because they know that they are bringing attention to something that IS good enough because this has been confirmed to them through years of experience.
I think this is what creates a lot of shyness and social anxiety in men. A lot of the time it is better to remain quiet and hidden and get no reaction than bring attention to yourself and get negative reactions. Unfortunately people use this as a scapegoat for our situation and act like the reason we are not getting girls is because we are shy and quiet rather than point out the actual cause which is the abhorrent way that women react to men who don't meet their high standards. The guys who aren't male models and go down this 'outgoing' road basically don't give a shit about reactions and maybe we should all be like that but the pain of these reactions is similar to a full blown rejection in most cases so it's a hard road to go down and one that shouldn't even be necessary to go down.
More valid advice is therefore to tell someone to be more OUTGOING and I think a lot of people get these words mixed up. I have seen average and below guys get some relative success by being low inhibition and being more outgoing. The problem with this however is that if you know you don't physically meet the standards through years of experience then you know that being outgoing is going to bring more attention to you and in 99% of cases the end result of this is going to be a disgusted reaction by women. It's like putting an item in the shop window when you know people are not going to like it. On the other hand someone who knows they are good enough physically will have no problem with this because they know that they are bringing attention to something that IS good enough because this has been confirmed to them through years of experience.
I think this is what creates a lot of shyness and social anxiety in men. A lot of the time it is better to remain quiet and hidden and get no reaction than bring attention to yourself and get negative reactions. Unfortunately people use this as a scapegoat for our situation and act like the reason we are not getting girls is because we are shy and quiet rather than point out the actual cause which is the abhorrent way that women react to men who don't meet their high standards. The guys who aren't male models and go down this 'outgoing' road basically don't give a shit about reactions and maybe we should all be like that but the pain of these reactions is similar to a full blown rejection in most cases so it's a hard road to go down and one that shouldn't even be necessary to go down.
