Brutal It's amazing how much abuse can transform you

[Stupid Clown]

When I was a younger child I was very sweet. I told my mother that if she ever died I would kill myself, and I constantly wanted to cuddle her or give her gifts. Then it happened, I started getting physically abused both by my mother and other relatives. For awhile I refused to fight back, at one point I tried to punch my brother but started crying because I couldn't bring myself to do it without feeling guilty however at age 13 something snapped. I didn't care anymore, I didn't feel any love or attachment for anyone and I was emotionally dead to any and everything I experienced. I was hanging out with my relatives once and my uncle started having a heart attack. They all freaked out but I felt absolutely nothing. He survived of course but I think even if I died I wouldn't have cared.

16 of course is when I snapped even more and now I'm a completely different person from when I was younger. Nothing but hate remains.

 

[ldargoblin]

I told my mother that if she ever died I would kill myself

Awww

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

When I was a four-year-old, my parents and I lived in a duplex, where my father would hit Mother and damage the walls, resulting in holes near a wooden desk she used for sewing. I recall pouring soap in my eyes at this age to stop them from arguing.

When we moved, my father would regularly come home and argue with Mother over anything he disliked. He broke the windows in our living room as well as the windows in our kitchen, he broke a "Leopard Statue", he broke our kitchen table, he broke plates, he threw Mother's computer and clothes into the garbage bin. He'd regularly pound on Mother's room door(Used for crafts). He'd yell at Mother as he was driving her to work.

My mother, as kind as she may be, used to grab me very forcefully(By the neck, as I was fidgeting with items; I would ache from it) and repeatedly tell me "Do you hear me!?! If people see you doing that, they will think you are men-tally retar-ded!" while shaking me and shaking the item near my eyes. She would tell me how embarrassing it is to have an autistic son who fidgets with items as a form of stimulation. Other times, she would hit me. When I said, "Please don't hit me!" once, she started laughing.

View: https://youtu.be/vvw_XmQxaW0

 

[edwardnashton]

This is what happens when the insanity overflows. Respect existence or expect resistance.

 

[wereq]

Suffering changes a person. If my current self were to have a conversation with my childhood self, the childhood version of me would have a breakdown. I have become so irredeemably cold, soulless, nihilistic, anti-natalist, and evil that I feel like a completely different person compared to my past self.

 

[MillionBashStream97]

I was physically abused as a kid and teenager, and mentally abused for 26 years (I'm 26), until I ran away from that house not too long ago.

A lot of people have no idea how much your parents will make or break you as a person...
And I wouldn't wish abusive parents even on my worse enemies... It's hell.

And unfortunately, most societies worship parents. Your father, your mother. You must respect them. You must obey them.
You should respect you elders.

But through abuse, I learned that respect is something you have to earn... I hold no respect towards adults and elders, until they show me they deserve it.

The idea that I must respect my father, is absolute joke.

 

[Stupid Clown]

Suffering changes a person. If my current self were to have a conversation with my childhood self, the childhood version of me would have a breakdown. I have become so irredeemably cold, soulless, nihilistic, anti-natalist, and evil that I feel like a completely different person compared to my past self.

That's so true. Why are you anti-natalist tho?

 

[Stupid Clown]

I was physically abused as a kid and teenager, and mentally abused for 26 years (I'm 26), until I ran away from that house not too long ago.

A lot of people have no idea how much your parents will make or break you as a person...
And I wouldn't wish abusive parents even on my worse enemies... It's hell.

And unfortunately, most societies worship parents. Your father, your mother. You must respect them. You must obey them.
You should respect you elders.

But through abuse, I learned that respect is something you have to earn... I hold no respect towards adults and elders, until they show me they deserve it.

The idea that I must respect my father, is absolute joke.

Have you changed mentally or did you stay strong? How did you run away?

 

[Stupid Clown]

Is this... your last form?


View: https://youtu.be/Bqzb0gErek8?si=D09oiGKtvIcorUz-

Majin Buu saga was so shitty.

 

[Stupid Clown]

Android saga

Android saga was better.

 

[DarkStar]

Being picked on in school I think is what really mentally snapped me. My parents aren't the best by far, but I was never really abused by them.

Being picked on during your teen-years basically is like the final nail in the coffin imo, or at least one of them.

 

[MillionBashStream97]

Have you changed mentally or did you stay strong?

Not sure if I understand your question, so if my answer is off, let me know...
Considering I was going to kill myself the day I ran away from that house (There was an ultimatum), and I decided to choose life, and risk dying homeless in the streets, just for the opportunity of maybe re-starting my life, I would say I did stay strong...

But mentally I'm the same. Deep scars like rarely ever heal. You just learn how to coexist with your "demons"... I have nightmares, constant intrusive unwanted thoughts of my father, and I'm sensitive towards noises. I only feel at peace when I'm in a quiet place.

I'm just less anxious and scared.
When I was in that house, my heart was racing on a daily basis, even when there was nothing going on. Was always paranoid.

How did you run away?

At midnight when they were sleeping. I picked up the most essential stuff, and left.
Stayed in the streets for one day, then I was able to get in contact with my Uncle (My father's brother). Stayed in his apartment for 3 days, then later I got in contact with my Aunt, and she told me to come live at my grandma's house with my other aunt.

It's where I'm living at right now. Dangerous neighborhood, but it's better then being homeless.

I was lucky. Many people in my position end up either dying in the streets, locked with their abusive parents, or kill themselves.

 

[wereq]

Why are you anti-natalist tho?

Human life sucks that's why.

 

[Stupid Clown]

Human life sucks that's why.

Personally I want human life to continue so others can be miserable.

 

[PhilipBlake]

Personally I want human life to continue so others can be miserable.

I wish there was only Hell after death, for every single human being on earth. But i guess nothingness is fine...

 

[IncelsNeverCry]

I always hated my mother from an early age, she used to beat us kids blue, my father is and always was chill but he never really taught us anything or played with us, very much a invite you over for sunday dinner then watch tv type guy but these days I get along quite well with both my parents, hated them for a long time but got over it, family is all you truly have in the end, friends and partners are for normies.

 

[Stupid Clown]

I always hated my mother from an early age, she used to beat us kids blue, my father is and always was chill but he never really taught us anything or played with us, very much a invite you over for sunday dinner then watch tv type guy but these days I get along quite well with both my parents, hated them for a long time but got over it, family is all you truly have in the end, friends and partners are for normies.

You shouldn't ever forgive them.

 

[IncelsNeverCry]

You shouldn't ever forgive them.

They're all that will ever be there, i'm a man and not a kid anymore, I could knock down both my parents if I wanted and maybe that'd be deserved, but hell they have also been there for me at times at my lowest, that's something no so called friend or government jew ever did for me.