I cant keep fucking doing this anymore
Every fucking day I feel like life is crushing me
it feels like my brain is being fucking pressed together by two massive hands
I cant keep doing this anymore theres no fucking point to any of this shit
My life is just so fucked Ive been fucked in everything I just cba continuing with this shit
But it wont stop I cant stop this fucking shitshow ride my life is
It never stops
Im starting to genuinely lose my sanity your not meant to live like this as a human we aren’t built to know all the brutal truths of reality especially if your on the wrong side of it
you aren’t meant to consciously know that its over for you
Its against nature people like us would have died in the wild yet here we fucking are being artificially kept alive by society
We aren’t truly human like others are
we are genuinely subhuman we were never meant to be and now nature is punishing us for someone elses fault
We never chose to be born yet we will take all the punishment for it
my mental state is not normal it should not be possible for a human to even think this way and be as neurotic and fucked as I am
A real human gets to live a real life they dont have to live in pain and misery all the time
It shouldn’t be possible for someone to live as realistically as I do I push nearly every cope away unlike other people who accept the most delusional and unrealistic copes just to keep surviving
I dont get this “ privilege” though
I know how much of a pathetic worthless piece of shit I am and theres no coping around it
I have no purpose or meaning to my life
All the things I wanted aren’t possible
I have nothing to work towards so I do nothing
Everyday is the same
Over and over and over
Theres no way I can just keep going like this my mind is literally rotting away further and further everyday
I feel like my mind has been pushed to the fucking brink Its going to break soon
Theres just too much fucking suffering to this reality always fucking suffering that’s all my fucking life is man
Every fucking day
Over and over and over and over
How am I even meant to want to continue on with this shit
The one thing keeping me going is my delusional survival instinct that will do anything to keep me going it pumps me with slight hope and keeps me from offing myself
consciously I know its over for me and I know Im a dead man walking But it forces me to keep going
I wish I could just lose the ball and chain of my survival instinct so I could just scatter my skulll all over the wallls
I know I could do it but the only thing holding me back is that feeling that makes me keep going despite all I feel everyday being pain
All I feel everyday is emotional pain from my shit life and shitty life situation it feels like I am choking to death forever
My whole life feels like some sort of torture or punishment from reality itself
I am so far below everyone else I have no chance at anything
I just have to watch as everybody succeeds in life as I rot away
I feel like Im at war with myself and my own body
as well as against life
Its not possible to win against these odds so Ive given up
Ive noticed that I refer to myself and my physical self separately alot now
I dont relate to this body At all It has always caused all of my problems
It is like a fucking prison I want to be as far away from it as possible and yet im stuck inside it
Its the worst prison possible
Today I looked in the mirror at my inferior appearance and saw my prison
I started to think about how fucked everything Is in my life and how Unfortunate Ive been in everything my entire life
Always fucking losing at everything always having everything go wrong
being treated like a piece of trash for no reason other then my genes and having to endure suffering because of the fault of my genes
Not me my fucking genes
I barely kept myself from smashing up some shit in my house
I cant keep myself sane anymore this fucking world is tearing me apart all the time
Something needs to fucking happen something needs to change And I don’t even care If Its me dying I want off this fucking ride
I want to be freed from my prison
I shouldn’t even be alive right now I should have died at birth I should have never existed at all therre was no reason for me to ever exist
there was no point to any of the things that have happened to me or will happen to me
Im only here because of my fucking dumbass parents selfish decision to have a child as a cope to their pathetically boring and meaningless lives
Everything in this reality is just fucked theres nothing more to it and thats the most simple way I can put it
I doubt anyone would want to live in this world if they weren’t forced to
Every fucking day I feel like life is crushing me
it feels like my brain is being fucking pressed together by two massive hands
I cant keep doing this anymore theres no fucking point to any of this shit
My life is just so fucked Ive been fucked in everything I just cba continuing with this shit
But it wont stop I cant stop this fucking shitshow ride my life is
It never stops
Im starting to genuinely lose my sanity your not meant to live like this as a human we aren’t built to know all the brutal truths of reality especially if your on the wrong side of it
you aren’t meant to consciously know that its over for you
Its against nature people like us would have died in the wild yet here we fucking are being artificially kept alive by society
We aren’t truly human like others are
we are genuinely subhuman we were never meant to be and now nature is punishing us for someone elses fault
We never chose to be born yet we will take all the punishment for it
my mental state is not normal it should not be possible for a human to even think this way and be as neurotic and fucked as I am
A real human gets to live a real life they dont have to live in pain and misery all the time
It shouldn’t be possible for someone to live as realistically as I do I push nearly every cope away unlike other people who accept the most delusional and unrealistic copes just to keep surviving
I dont get this “ privilege” though
I know how much of a pathetic worthless piece of shit I am and theres no coping around it
I have no purpose or meaning to my life
All the things I wanted aren’t possible
I have nothing to work towards so I do nothing
Everyday is the same
Over and over and over
Theres no way I can just keep going like this my mind is literally rotting away further and further everyday
I feel like my mind has been pushed to the fucking brink Its going to break soon
Theres just too much fucking suffering to this reality always fucking suffering that’s all my fucking life is man
Every fucking day
Over and over and over and over
How am I even meant to want to continue on with this shit
The one thing keeping me going is my delusional survival instinct that will do anything to keep me going it pumps me with slight hope and keeps me from offing myself
consciously I know its over for me and I know Im a dead man walking But it forces me to keep going
I wish I could just lose the ball and chain of my survival instinct so I could just scatter my skulll all over the wallls
I know I could do it but the only thing holding me back is that feeling that makes me keep going despite all I feel everyday being pain
All I feel everyday is emotional pain from my shit life and shitty life situation it feels like I am choking to death forever
My whole life feels like some sort of torture or punishment from reality itself
I am so far below everyone else I have no chance at anything
I just have to watch as everybody succeeds in life as I rot away
I feel like Im at war with myself and my own body
as well as against life
Its not possible to win against these odds so Ive given up
Ive noticed that I refer to myself and my physical self separately alot now
I dont relate to this body At all It has always caused all of my problems
It is like a fucking prison I want to be as far away from it as possible and yet im stuck inside it
Its the worst prison possible
Today I looked in the mirror at my inferior appearance and saw my prison
I started to think about how fucked everything Is in my life and how Unfortunate Ive been in everything my entire life
Always fucking losing at everything always having everything go wrong
being treated like a piece of trash for no reason other then my genes and having to endure suffering because of the fault of my genes
Not me my fucking genes
I barely kept myself from smashing up some shit in my house
I cant keep myself sane anymore this fucking world is tearing me apart all the time
Something needs to fucking happen something needs to change And I don’t even care If Its me dying I want off this fucking ride
I want to be freed from my prison
I shouldn’t even be alive right now I should have died at birth I should have never existed at all therre was no reason for me to ever exist
there was no point to any of the things that have happened to me or will happen to me
Im only here because of my fucking dumbass parents selfish decision to have a child as a cope to their pathetically boring and meaningless lives
Everything in this reality is just fucked theres nothing more to it and thats the most simple way I can put it
I doubt anyone would want to live in this world if they weren’t forced to
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