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Blackpill It bothers me I will never be a normal human being. I can't get over it.

Incline

Incline

I HAVE DIVINE MISSION TO PATTAYAMAXX BEFORE IM 30
★★★★★
Joined
May 1, 2019
Posts
16,451
I am me. But being me is not really who I would like to be. But it's not like I can up and change everything about me. It's not possible to just alter yourself completely. Sure you can change your believes, your mannerism the way you talk and the way you walk, you can change a lot but you will always and forever be you and no matter how much you try that will never go away.

Lately I have been watching a lot of street documentaries where they ask random people questions or just random videos of street events and other kind of events. The people there are acting so NT over there. The way they talk, how they talk, I will never be able to be like this. I don't think I would be even capable of loving my own child If I ever had one. I think a life of loneliness and misery truly ruined me. There is nothing left to gather. There is no going back from this.

I don't mind it that much on one hand. Since what I'm doing to do with my life is best done in solitude anyway. But if I had a choice I would rather live out my NT normie life with a gf by my side and a loving family. Live in ignorance of everything just talking about normie shit voting for whoever the most normie leftist candidate is, etc...Reddit soybrowsing, going to house parties. Joining a college football club, small talking fucking half a day about random bullshit with my normie friends. I can't do any of that, I never had a chance. I wish I could. I wish I had a normal life not this hell I've been living. Not this torment I have to endure. I don't have a single fucking happy memory. I group my life in stages. There is the primary school stage, secondary, college, university, first job, second job, so on and so forth. Not a single segment of my life has been a pleasurable experience. It's just from one hell straight to another. I am not looking forward to anything anymore because I know it will just be worse like it always has been.

The 'it gets better' meme is probably one of the most pitifully cancerous shit I have ever been exposed to. The younger me believed it, but I was foolish then. It's just a phrase coined by people who want to virtue signal. It's an utopian concept only meant for 'mood-lift'. It is engraved into the normie culture because normie problems were never real to begin with. They keep saying this shit among themselves and later magically they all go 'yeah you are right IT GETS BETTER' after they exit their normie fake depression phase. Then that shit meme gets spread everywhere else and normies truly fucking believe it because it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

The gets better cycle -
1 - Normie complaining about bieng depressed for not fucking his gf in 3 months or having his 10th gf cheat on him or whatever other fake reason he can coin. Real people with depression don't talk about it.
2 - Normie claims to be suicidal / depressed
3 - Other normie spam 'ITTH GETUUSH BETUTER BROOO GETSUHH BETTER SOOON BRO OMG BROO GETS SO MUCH BETTER BRO OOOO BROOO
4 - Normie gets bored of larping as depressed and goes ur right gets beter haha thanks bros thanks u help me wow so good

Repeat a thousand times a day bonus points if it's a foid. Then the narrative is born that it gets better to keep coping. Fucking fake shit I hate that phrase.


Anyway, It's not all gloom and doom this life of misery gave me a unique perspective on the world. It opened a door for me that no other life could have opened. I will live the life of my choosing and ascend my mind into a higher plain of existence where such things won't bother me anymore. But the cost of this is just so much to bare.
 
I'm a normal human being. I'm just ugly.
 
I can relate quite a bit. I also wish, that I'd have a different personality. I can change my personality by taking drugs and feel like a normal person then, but it's not sustainable and has some risks, too.

I wonder how old you are. I can say, that it gets better with time in the sense, that you accept your fate more and more. At least in regards of sex and relationships. But I can only speak for me. It helped, that I developed a pretty pessimistic and nihilistic world view and even became an anti-natalist. That way I don't care what happens with me and the world and I don't have any desire for having a family.
However, it's a cruel joke to be born as a socially inept person and having something like a sex drive and a need for intimacy and companionship. I could never relate to normies and vice versa. I was always more intellectual, dark and serious than all the other people. Not good at social stuff, but with enough awareness and self-awareness to know the social game, but I could not partake in it, because it does not fit my character. I guess many incels are like that.

What exactly have you discovered for yourself? I'm really glad I discovered anti-natalism and can live detached from all the social dogma and copes and see life as it really is.
 
You were just born in the wrong era. Go back a few decades and your quality of life would've been far better than what it is now. The amount of lookism in society has reached insane levels. In the comments section of a youtube video I saw a comment thread with about 100 comments each coming from teenage boys who said they felt suicidal, I've never seen anything like it before. Things will get worse.
 
I relate buddy boy
 
I get you... i thought this lots of times, but came to the realization that you are what you are, accept it, fuck everything and keep going, there are way worse shit in the world! just think about people with health issues, with no legs, no arms, or worse... at least you are a fully functional male, you just dont find yourself in society.
 
basically, a report on my life
 
We are suffering dogs
 
I am me. But being me is not really who I would like to be. But it's not like I can up and change everything about me. It's not possible to just alter yourself completely. Sure you can change your believes, your mannerism the way you talk and the way you walk, you can change a lot but you will always and forever be you and no matter how much you try that will never go away.

Lately I have been watching a lot of street documentaries where they ask random people questions or just random videos of street events and other kind of events. The people there are acting so NT over there. The way they talk, how they talk, I will never be able to be like this. I don't think I would be even capable of loving my own child If I ever had one. I think a life of loneliness and misery truly ruined me. There is nothing left to gather. There is no going back from this.

I don't mind it that much on one hand. Since what I'm doing to do with my life is best done in solitude anyway. But if I had a choice I would rather live out my NT normie life with a gf by my side and a loving family. Live in ignorance of everything just talking about normie shit voting for whoever the most normie leftist candidate is, etc...Reddit soybrowsing, going to house parties. Joining a college football club, small talking fucking half a day about random bullshit with my normie friends. I can't do any of that, I never had a chance. I wish I could. I wish I had a normal life not this hell I've been living. Not this torment I have to endure. I don't have a single fucking happy memory. I group my life in stages. There is the primary school stage, secondary, college, university, first job, second job, so on and so forth. Not a single segment of my life has been a pleasurable experience. It's just from one hell straight to another. I am not looking forward to anything anymore because I know it will just be worse like it always has been.

The 'it gets better' meme is probably one of the most pitifully cancerous shit I have ever been exposed to. The younger me believed it, but I was foolish then. It's just a phrase coined by people who want to virtue signal. It's an utopian concept only meant for 'mood-lift'. It is engraved into the normie culture because normie problems were never real to begin with. They keep saying this shit among themselves and later magically they all go 'yeah you are right IT GETS BETTER' after they exit their normie fake depression phase. Then that shit meme gets spread everywhere else and normies truly fucking believe it because it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

The gets better cycle -
1 - Normie complaining about bieng depressed for not fucking his gf in 3 months or having his 10th gf cheat on him or whatever other fake reason he can coin. Real people with depression don't talk about it.
2 - Normie claims to be suicidal / depressed
3 - Other normie spam 'ITTH GETUUSH BETUTER BROOO GETSUHH BETTER SOOON BRO OMG BROO GETS SO MUCH BETTER BRO OOOO BROOO
4 - Normie gets bored of larping as depressed and goes ur right gets beter haha thanks bros thanks u help me wow so good

Repeat a thousand times a day bonus points if it's a foid. Then the narrative is born that it gets better to keep coping. Fucking fake shit I hate that phrase.


Anyway, It's not all gloom and doom this life of misery gave me a unique perspective on the world. It opened a door for me that no other life could have opened. I will live the life of my choosing and ascend my mind into a higher plain of existence where such things won't bother me anymore. But the cost of this is just so much to bare.
I can at least tell you that you are not alone, I’m like super ugly and non nt, it’s literally a death sentence but I keep on living because that’s what you do
 

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