Shit, I just realized that I've literally engaged in escapism for an overwhelming majority of the day since I was A KID (even before I got seriously depressed since I became a teenager). Seriously, I don't know any other way to live. I get very anxious whenever I'm not glued to a screen and doing something brainless like watching a sitcom or browsing the internet.
For example, every single summer of my life was spent laying in bed 16 hours a day with my laptop next to me. Every single one. When I was at uni I'd come back home as soon as possible and rot in front of a screen. At uni I'd be on my phone as much as possible.
Basically non-stop escapism. I even often think of ways to engage in escapism WHILE doing things that require me to be ... present. I've thought of wearing headphones and listening to sitcoms when I'll eventually go to work. Or I've thought of developing a "tulpa" or more elaborate daydreams or other imaginary things to sort of be present in parallel to whatever I'm doing to distract me while I'm forced to be in real life. Those efforts have been ... fruitless.
For example, every single summer of my life was spent laying in bed 16 hours a day with my laptop next to me. Every single one. When I was at uni I'd come back home as soon as possible and rot in front of a screen. At uni I'd be on my phone as much as possible.
Basically non-stop escapism. I even often think of ways to engage in escapism WHILE doing things that require me to be ... present. I've thought of wearing headphones and listening to sitcoms when I'll eventually go to work. Or I've thought of developing a "tulpa" or more elaborate daydreams or other imaginary things to sort of be present in parallel to whatever I'm doing to distract me while I'm forced to be in real life. Those efforts have been ... fruitless.
