please excuse the length of this post, I understand if it's TL;DR
qz.com
"From meeting scores of new people on Tinder to being unabashed about sex, the spring chickens had stories that evoked everything from curiosity to outright envy among older bosses in my office. And, this seems to be a pattern across industries.
A married 38-year-old banker said he feels “massive jealousy” when he hears about the dating lives of his juniors. “I never had a one-night stand in my life,” the Bengaluru-based IIT graduate said. “And my younger colleagues seem to hook up with seven to eight people in a month.”
The experience of this older banker seems reasonable. Hooking up with 7-8 people a month seems like an unrealistic standard even for today however. Is that really what's going on with every single colleague? Do some of them have sexual false consciousness and are lying?. Are some hooking up with landwhales, or are simply incel? That number per month is downright high if not chad-tier. It's not a direct comparison to the west because it's not America.
"This feeling of disappointment over not having met enough people is common among urban men and women in their 30s. Most millennials born before liberalisation in India grew up with an awkward attitude to dating and sex—westernised enough to pursue pre-marital romances but not bold enough to do so openly and nonchalantly. The rise of dating apps and social media changed that. The entry of post-millennials into the workforce, wherein the two generations began interacting regularly for the first time, has shown us just how massive that change has been."
This seems to suggest that the only obstacle to dating and sex in the past was the technology, but as we know, the technology of today is merely a way for women to easily sift through a large amount of men to find the most attractive. And maybe it was never easy. A Pajeet who is 3/10 and fresh off the boat in 1995 might well have struggled to fit in and get a single date, but if he managed to marry and have a son, pajeet's son is still too low value for any girl in America today. Arranged marriage may be the way to go in the Indian culture. I know this article is based in India, but it's still an interesting look into the "dating market".
Also it seems like the disappointment is not so much over not meeting enough people as meeting not a single one and being completely alone.
"To begin with, it is way easier to date and meet new people now."
Well of course it's theoretically easer to meet people online. It's not easier to date, although this is a different country and a different market. I would need more information to say for sure. But this sounds suspiciously like all the normie-tier advice we've heard countless times about how it's easier than ever to...etc.
"Before dating apps became ubiquitous, our hunting grounds for potential partners were restricted to where we studied, lived or worked. “At MakeMyTrip, when we started off, there were so many couples who met in office and even got married,” said Sachin Bhatia, who co-founded the travel and ticket-booking site in 2000 and, 13 years later, launched dating platform TrulyMadly."
This may not be the case in India, but you would be lucky to not be fired, arrested or both if you chose school or the workplace as "hunting ground." in the west. The idea of complaining about those areas being the ONLY place to find a partner gives me a wistful feeling. I would be very interested if any user had information about the app TrulyMadly for comparison to western dating app statistics. I would imagine their dating apps would have a depressive effect on the average man however.
"Now, as swiping right becomes second nature, not only is it easy to access a mind-boggling variety of people, there is also no need to stay in a bad relationship for a long time."
Again, the same generalization that more apps equals more access to sex. In theory it is correct, but as we know, the 80/20 or 90/10 rule applies more than ever on the apps, where appearance is immediately registered. This may be different in India. I must give it a pass for now due to a lack of information.
“I told my mom ‘blowjobs are so hard’ after my first time,” one of those aforementioned journalists once told me. On the other hand, I still cringe when I recall the only sex scenes my parents and I saw together—Kate Winslet’s Rose removing her robe in the drawing scene in Titanic, followed by lovemaking in the back of the car."
Female journalist is basically open about being a slut. News at 11.
“A decade ago, when I chose to enter the finance field, I knew it is male-dominated and I would hardly get to meet women,” an investment banker said on the condition of anonymity. “I married my college girlfriend, and even though my life is great, I regret not meeting other sexual partners during my 20s.”
This man may have been lucky to get his girlfriend, and that she wanted to marry him even back then. Every man wants options, but if you have nothing, you would be happy with one. Having even one option is mind-boggling for most of us. I know it's not a direct comparison to the west.
"Without dating apps and WhatsApp, the time and effort required for dating was intimidating for those in demanding careers. From even mustering the courage to ask someone out to regular phone calls and text messages, old-fashioned dating often required investing a lot of time."
“When we were at that age, there was no time to look for companionship…I would over-intellectualise even a coffee date,” said Saumya Baijal, Gurgaon-based adwoman and writer. “Also, we often had an end-goal in mind—maybe a long-term relationship or even marriage. For my young colleagues, it is all about being in the moment,” the 35-year old added."
What's intimidating is the rejection of going on these apps if you are not part of the top 10%. If effort was rewarded proportionate to time invested, then there would be no problem. This article almost seems like some kind of retroactive blackwashing of "the bad old days" as if to suggest no, sweaty, it was actually worse earlier. Every statistic shows there is less sex and relationships despite there being more apps. Apps simply facilitate rejection of the average man in favor of chad. Now of course I'm looking at it from an American perspective and this is India. But it seems like if these apps are becoming the norm, hypergamy and sluttiness will take over and the average man may find himself without a partner more often in their country too.
And obviously females are looking more for chad to bang her out unless they are getting older and need commitment (beta bucks)
"Yet, the lack of pressure to look for a soulmate, and the freedom to simply hook-up, also means there is plenty of time to focus on career growth or other activities. “I see people finding dates online while preparing financial models now,” the investment banker said, rather sadly."
Most men do not have "the freedom to simply hook up". It is not as simple as firing up the apps as we are sadly aware of, because you will be rejected. We would gladly trade all the apps for a shot at one girl to build a relationship with. This option is not on the table. Why do people keep propagating this ridiculous idea that "it's easier than ever to hook up?" Granted, this is not in the west.
Also, I wouldn't be surprised if the author was a huge slutbag.
What’s making Indian professionals in their 30s super jealous? It's sex
Younger millennials don't have to choose between dating and career growth.
qz.com
"From meeting scores of new people on Tinder to being unabashed about sex, the spring chickens had stories that evoked everything from curiosity to outright envy among older bosses in my office. And, this seems to be a pattern across industries.
A married 38-year-old banker said he feels “massive jealousy” when he hears about the dating lives of his juniors. “I never had a one-night stand in my life,” the Bengaluru-based IIT graduate said. “And my younger colleagues seem to hook up with seven to eight people in a month.”
The experience of this older banker seems reasonable. Hooking up with 7-8 people a month seems like an unrealistic standard even for today however. Is that really what's going on with every single colleague? Do some of them have sexual false consciousness and are lying?. Are some hooking up with landwhales, or are simply incel? That number per month is downright high if not chad-tier. It's not a direct comparison to the west because it's not America.
"This feeling of disappointment over not having met enough people is common among urban men and women in their 30s. Most millennials born before liberalisation in India grew up with an awkward attitude to dating and sex—westernised enough to pursue pre-marital romances but not bold enough to do so openly and nonchalantly. The rise of dating apps and social media changed that. The entry of post-millennials into the workforce, wherein the two generations began interacting regularly for the first time, has shown us just how massive that change has been."
This seems to suggest that the only obstacle to dating and sex in the past was the technology, but as we know, the technology of today is merely a way for women to easily sift through a large amount of men to find the most attractive. And maybe it was never easy. A Pajeet who is 3/10 and fresh off the boat in 1995 might well have struggled to fit in and get a single date, but if he managed to marry and have a son, pajeet's son is still too low value for any girl in America today. Arranged marriage may be the way to go in the Indian culture. I know this article is based in India, but it's still an interesting look into the "dating market".
Also it seems like the disappointment is not so much over not meeting enough people as meeting not a single one and being completely alone.
"To begin with, it is way easier to date and meet new people now."
Well of course it's theoretically easer to meet people online. It's not easier to date, although this is a different country and a different market. I would need more information to say for sure. But this sounds suspiciously like all the normie-tier advice we've heard countless times about how it's easier than ever to...etc.
"Before dating apps became ubiquitous, our hunting grounds for potential partners were restricted to where we studied, lived or worked. “At MakeMyTrip, when we started off, there were so many couples who met in office and even got married,” said Sachin Bhatia, who co-founded the travel and ticket-booking site in 2000 and, 13 years later, launched dating platform TrulyMadly."
This may not be the case in India, but you would be lucky to not be fired, arrested or both if you chose school or the workplace as "hunting ground." in the west. The idea of complaining about those areas being the ONLY place to find a partner gives me a wistful feeling. I would be very interested if any user had information about the app TrulyMadly for comparison to western dating app statistics. I would imagine their dating apps would have a depressive effect on the average man however.
"Now, as swiping right becomes second nature, not only is it easy to access a mind-boggling variety of people, there is also no need to stay in a bad relationship for a long time."
Again, the same generalization that more apps equals more access to sex. In theory it is correct, but as we know, the 80/20 or 90/10 rule applies more than ever on the apps, where appearance is immediately registered. This may be different in India. I must give it a pass for now due to a lack of information.
“I told my mom ‘blowjobs are so hard’ after my first time,” one of those aforementioned journalists once told me. On the other hand, I still cringe when I recall the only sex scenes my parents and I saw together—Kate Winslet’s Rose removing her robe in the drawing scene in Titanic, followed by lovemaking in the back of the car."
Female journalist is basically open about being a slut. News at 11.
“A decade ago, when I chose to enter the finance field, I knew it is male-dominated and I would hardly get to meet women,” an investment banker said on the condition of anonymity. “I married my college girlfriend, and even though my life is great, I regret not meeting other sexual partners during my 20s.”
This man may have been lucky to get his girlfriend, and that she wanted to marry him even back then. Every man wants options, but if you have nothing, you would be happy with one. Having even one option is mind-boggling for most of us. I know it's not a direct comparison to the west.
"Without dating apps and WhatsApp, the time and effort required for dating was intimidating for those in demanding careers. From even mustering the courage to ask someone out to regular phone calls and text messages, old-fashioned dating often required investing a lot of time."
“When we were at that age, there was no time to look for companionship…I would over-intellectualise even a coffee date,” said Saumya Baijal, Gurgaon-based adwoman and writer. “Also, we often had an end-goal in mind—maybe a long-term relationship or even marriage. For my young colleagues, it is all about being in the moment,” the 35-year old added."
What's intimidating is the rejection of going on these apps if you are not part of the top 10%. If effort was rewarded proportionate to time invested, then there would be no problem. This article almost seems like some kind of retroactive blackwashing of "the bad old days" as if to suggest no, sweaty, it was actually worse earlier. Every statistic shows there is less sex and relationships despite there being more apps. Apps simply facilitate rejection of the average man in favor of chad. Now of course I'm looking at it from an American perspective and this is India. But it seems like if these apps are becoming the norm, hypergamy and sluttiness will take over and the average man may find himself without a partner more often in their country too.
And obviously females are looking more for chad to bang her out unless they are getting older and need commitment (beta bucks)
"Yet, the lack of pressure to look for a soulmate, and the freedom to simply hook-up, also means there is plenty of time to focus on career growth or other activities. “I see people finding dates online while preparing financial models now,” the investment banker said, rather sadly."
Most men do not have "the freedom to simply hook up". It is not as simple as firing up the apps as we are sadly aware of, because you will be rejected. We would gladly trade all the apps for a shot at one girl to build a relationship with. This option is not on the table. Why do people keep propagating this ridiculous idea that "it's easier than ever to hook up?" Granted, this is not in the west.
Also, I wouldn't be surprised if the author was a huge slutbag.
